Tuesday, December 06, 2005


Last week I had a GLORIOUS Thursday. What else could you call going to your yarn store (the Bon Marche) to pick up the TBM yarn you bought, and the last 3 balls of Clapotis yarn in your dyelot and being served 3 flutes of champagne (Moet and Chandon) for free??? Call me, and my best buddy who I am going to teach to knit, happy and a bit tipsy on the way out to a dinner of cheese (Raclette- which is SOOO much better than Fondue!!). Yes we love the Bon Marche and its chi-chi self (note those links are to photos I took). It didn't last though... I may live my life administratively in French, I may have written and researched a 15,000 word political/analytical thesis for one of the two leading French Grand Ecoles in my field and got the highest score (from a French professor who did NOT inflate grades), I may have worked in the interior of the Ministry of Etrangeness. But I cannot pass a stupid fucking lanugage exam in French for this blasted organisation that gives WHOLE NEW MEANING to the phrase Bass-Ackwards. Partially this is my fault, HR called me on Wednesday and said "oh we forgot to tell you that you won't receive your accurate pay grade (which for the record is not a promotion, I stay the same grade- just become permanent so I get some extra benefits, substantial ones but still...) without having passed the language exam." So I get on the horn and screeched and beseeched the learning center to let me take this exam, Honto-Pronto-Tonto! I forgot that my ADD (yes I am diagnosed with a mild case, since I was 9, but it only affects me when... wait for it... I take exams, especially multiple choice ones and timed multiple choice is like the motherfreaking jackpot. DING DING DING- that whole impulsivity part of ADD is my bitch to bear) was going to run my ass round a block. In delusions I accepted to take the exam on a Friday afternoon at 5pm. And right before I left, I had to deal with my French bank. I hate French Banks... Yeah so I guess I asked to fail the motherfucking exam by 3 bloody written grammar questions. Merry Effing Bahhumbug Christmas- not as much of a pay out as I thought I was gonna get. I think it might be time to start designing that F-YOU cabled sweater for Murphy. But I can find humour in French- the Meteo Man. I have only lived one place where I trusted the weatherman- Arizona. Not hard- "It will be sunny and hot today..." Otherwise they are asshats to be ignored in my book. My buddy Chris- made a most hysterical rant on them just today. But anyways... the Meteo here in France is something to behold. I am quite sure somewhere in grade school the kids are given a full meterological course to know how to figure out what the hell the are talking about and what all those numbers are about. And in the morning when I am watching the Meteo Man he starts dancing around my screen across the map of France with the numbers swirling around him- to some 70s music (this is what I get for watching Canal Plus instead of Telematin) he tells me that all of France is going to be depressive. Yup- they are all as pissed as I am that I am down 400 euros becuase of the fricking fracking French language. That or it is related to the acid I was dropping in my sleep- cause what else is going to explain a Meteo Man dancing on my screen across the map of France to 70s music??? Go with me here-laugh; if I can't laugh at this shit boys and girls I may start to shoot people... yes Claudia this is why I knit and may just make Salina in Rage :) but that discussion is for the next post- It is coming, I promise! Ok on to the knitting. I will give you one guess at what this is. Yes I have jumped ship and the twitchy hands have given up monogamy. I even gave indecision the heave ho and chose a pattern... Cause monogamy is over rated and the Clap, it made me itchy (well the yarn didn't that is soft as butter but I am trying to be funny here). Clap and me after 4 balls of yarn and 1.5 weekd of fiendish knitting... well we needed a bit of a break. At this stage the Clap looks almost the same as before, only 17 stitches have been dropped and it is still not long enough. It needs to be the length of the sofa/futon/bed. Bring on the sock! Yes so I started it on Friday night, where me and my "I cant speak the French" self watched the Star Ac. And on Saturday I plonked my ass on the sofa and barely budged. It was not a commercial weekend for Tink, thank the gods! I watched cartoons, I read a bit about the Wives of Henry VIII. And after 3 teenage angst shows from the US (I haven't a clue what they are called stateside- but are new) the Maillon Faible/French version of Weakest Link (where dude me and my inadequate French KICKED ASS) and 2 episodes of Charmed... this is where we are. Zoom Zoom. I might just finish before I leave, because as of today that one has an identical twin. I started it Sunday during the brunch Movie. MIGHT, watch me plonk out at the end. My over achieving ass learned the hard way to Aim LOW... Moreover... the above noted lunch break I took time to put procrASStination out of the way for a day and blocked out the last bit of Helen's sweater. It has since finished blocking and is waiting for me and procrASStination to have another meeting with likker to seam 'er up. I will say as my dumbass self slightly pinked myself (not a burn but I NOTICED) this sweater has been sufficiently blessed with me doing the holy dance around it, water spitting out of iron's the broken steam valve and me uttering FUCK alot... No worries though Helen- I would do it all over again for you my sweets. Anyways that is the knitting, me I am back to dancing around as I have managed to get the one Ipod acceptable song I have onto my Ipod. YES I AM A PART OF THE NEW WAVE... and giddy about it :) Now to keep me and my credit card permanently seperated as I want to buy all sorts of things like... TV SHOWS and Music and TV SHOWS- oh good god... they have Law and Order... This is sooooooo going to be the end of me. So for good measure here is one of my favorite pictures I have taken in a while. Enjoy!


Anonymous Rachel said...

Sorry to hear about your French exam woes. Hopefully, the second time will be the charm! My husband missed passing his electrical engineering licensing exam by one question because his father told him he'd never pass on the first try so don't bother studying. But second time? Much better.

I've not read that book on the wives of Henry VIII. I thought for a second you meant the one by Alison Weir, which I HAVE read. But either one is probably just as interesting. I miss the days when the royal family members got excommunicated, and offed or imprisoned their spouses. Made for much better reading.

8:23 PM  

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