Monday, December 19, 2005

Cake or Death...

Lemme think about that one alright?? Note to Life... Take it down a notch. Pretty Please. Gros Bisous avec un Cerise... Tink Oy. This weekend and the knitting and the getting ready to go on "vacation" and the... oh yeah the photos that make me want to jump off the knitting bridge. So in short form here is the 411. Note this is my last post before I head over the big blue pond on a plane (and possibly till the New Year depending on how things go at Mama Mao's (and whether I kill her and her "snores louder than a moped and lives in denial" ass) and then what all goes on when I am back- but happy, happy; joy, joy- one thing has gone right and in January (but not January One cause I am not that cool, nor capable) I will move the blog to its own independant URL and site using MT. And I will never ever again have to deal with the hell of blogger. Amen) So where do we stand. Well on the positive side (cause you know once those words come out the mouth there is a yin to the yang. The kind that makes you want to take yin and yank yang before taking them out back for some "Holiday" cheer) we have two finished knitted gifts. Mama Mao will not be sporting toeless socks as I finished them up and all is seamed in. I didnt graft them as I find grafting to be the antichrist but I did them in true vintage style- three needle bind off. Yes the socks be DONE. Gussets weren't perfect, but they do look pretty nice. Only another knitter would notice the gussets anyways. But riddle me this Batman- how the fuck do I end up using one ball of yarn on each of these socks to get to here. And then have one be half a pattern repeat (5 rounds) longer than the other... But the good thing is that the Bon Marche had my yarn and even in the same dyelot. Score one for Tink. Next knitted gift well it was done and decided to be added to the list after fiasco numero tres. Here we have one of my all time favorite basic cables hat in one of my all time favorite Cashmerino Aran colours (Cranberry). Why well cause it is quick and see below. So um the Christmas elves (both at work screwing up my pay meaning I get my raise but NEXT MONTH yeah, don't get me started) left my ass coal at this stage. Murphy and I are like... *THIS* Serious boys and girls, Clapotis... it hateth me. All over my irrational love of even numbers. If I had just stopped at 21, I would be done. But no... I wouldn't do that. I did 22 straight repeats and then at the tail end of the decrease rounds... you know the story. I ran out of yarn. Score 1 for Demonic Christmas Elves. I SOOOOOO should have just fucking bought that extra ball of yarn in my dyelot when I went last time, but noooooooo I was SURE that I would have enough. I DID NOT. And after trying to scramble all my scraps together (cause I only started balls on the purlside) I was at 23 st left. Do you know how pathetic this is. Cause yes there is no more yarn in Paris of this dyelot, or *swift kick in the ass* colour. Fuck me raw and over the chainsaw. SHIT. FUCK. BUGGER. Earth shaking?? That was me twitching on Sunday. When I had anticipated being all DONE. So I had to sit and think. Clapotis is LOVELY (besides the HATING ME bit) and I love it lots (even though it doesn't love me- why dont the inanimate objects love me??) but I am at a cross roads. (And then I sat and though about why the hell the EBay seller Cucumberpatch can't be arsed to answer a simple question (can she ship faster or in side the EU) so I can purchase one pack of RYC Cashsoft DK in Sage to make me a Clapotis of my own. NOT A GOOD IMPRESSION LADY!!) Do I leave it as is, buy a ball of yarn in Seattle and sneak finish the fucker up? Do I rip the bitch out and take it down one repeat and use it as a blanket to knit on the flight over (HOPING that it would be done in that time)? Do I scream at the inanimate object and then smack myself silly for playing with le fati ignoranti? (Yeah ummm I already did that for those playing the game) Who knows I have yet to decide but since I am on a plane in about 18 hours, a decision will be made sometime during them.. End of the first half: The score is even. Demonic Christmas Elves 1 v. Tink 1 and one half left to be decided. Ps... this post has been brought to you by parentheses. Happy Ho-Ho-Holidays to all of you and all your close ones. Hold someone, eat some cookies and take a moment to smile and enjoy the season!

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Ho-Ho-Ho... Who You Calling A Ho??

MOI??? Yeah well ok, if you must... This is me right about now. We are 7 days and counting and I have bunches up my sleeve that I am ignoring. Ostrich method, displays my expanding and smoking ass... So umm yeah that whole silence bit and the blogger ate part of my post where I linked to Homey the Clown has gone on too, thank god it looks like the blogger bit will be changing as the first of the year should see me this url out on it's own. Long and short though, it all took it out of me. As did the stuffy nose that showed up just in time for me to go for Holiday weekend to Normandy and teh confirmation that my post will indeed be changing divisions and location... are you kidding me. Stability why does thou forsaketh me. Is it because I speaketh to you in yee old English?? Well this is what I sayeth to you with alleth mee sarcasm: Yeah life... I LOVE YOU. Anyways here is where the holiday knitting is at. Clapotis has 2-3 more stitches to be dropped before the I can call an end to the straight rows section and start that decreasing bit. Seconding Polly I can say you knit faster when you run out of yarn. And the socks have run out of yarn at the toe shaping part. Dontcha know it. What do you think Mama Mao would think about toe-less socks. I mean we have finger-less mitts... It could be the newest and bestest trend evah!! Ok so I think both my mother and I will have as much excitement behind that as I do for the holidays right now. Back to the Bon Marche once I am out of yarn, and probably when Clapotis is done. Now for Salina since I have gone all static silence on you about it... it seems all 19!!! (I think that was a record and totally made me feel loved. So lots of hugs to all of you!!!) of you have an opinion. Now what I didnt say, is that as long as I like the yarn- I will probably be using it again, to make Elfin (once I work up the courage). So we can take two contestants. Most of the world thought Herb should be the color of choice (with the double tallying- Herb got 12, Rage 5, Crush 3 and Sigh 2). I currently have Rage in hand and think Rage would make a better Salina than Elfin... Anyone care to chime in?? I have to go knit on the Clapotis.... and block a baby sweater that should have been in the mail EONS ago. Oh yeah and go the one of my 3 work Christmas parties. Ho freaking ho indeed... sorry but the holiday spirt (different from the materialistic one) just hasn't quite hit me yet.

Thursday, December 08, 2005


We break this blog’s intended content about the colour choice for Salina to bring you the following breaking news flash! It is under two weeks before I get on a plane, fly over the big blue ocean and am back in the land of materialism, the US of A for a cheer, a jeer and all that good stuff with Mama Mao and friends. However, the knitting of gifts- it not be done. I swear for all that Zoom Zoom start, it feels never ending and seems like I will NOT be crossing the finishing line. Yup that’s me- fount of positive thinking. Let’s all gather the power of positive thought and think about how Tink will be knitting this weekend in Bretagne and Normandie in front of a BLAZING fire. How she will finish a Clapotis or freaking sock otherwise?? She will not leave for the Holidays with out having achieved success! So instead of the Bush Administration and the War!on!Terror! (which seriously I can’t wait for CNN but I know seeing that much about US politics will bring my Tourettes back out of remission. Yes I will need to attend the “anonymous” meetings for people who shout at their televisions…) I bring you the War!on!Christmas!Knitting! I am in my own version of Christmas knitting panic mode- so this justifies setting my pacifist tendencies aside and gives me the executive power to declare war on something right?? Ignore my granola girl pacifist tendencies... Declare War!on!Christmas!Knitting! War on the socks… War on the Clapotis… War on Helen’s Sweater… War on Pretty Wrappy Top… What brought this all about from a self-ascribed pacifist?? Hey homicide is not the same as war :) Well it was looking around and hearing about the religious nutjobs already from this side of the pond, knowing that I will hear about them in the US. Nutjobs like these. NO I AM NOT talking about you normal religious people who are respectful of all to believe as they choose and just want to spread holiday cheer. I mean the ones squealing about victimization or persecution of the majority as someone dares to say Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas. Or anyone calling the ACLU the “Against Christmas Liberties Union,” you know the Union that is out to get you, your children, that mythical creation of “American culture,” and the baby Jesus too. Consider this a warning- any person who chants the talking point about putting the Christ back in CHRISTmas… or even better tasting the Christ in Grandma’s CHRISTmas cookies- they are getting smacked upside the head with a nice shouting side of

Tuesday, December 06, 2005


Last week I had a GLORIOUS Thursday. What else could you call going to your yarn store (the Bon Marche) to pick up the TBM yarn you bought, and the last 3 balls of Clapotis yarn in your dyelot and being served 3 flutes of champagne (Moet and Chandon) for free??? Call me, and my best buddy who I am going to teach to knit, happy and a bit tipsy on the way out to a dinner of cheese (Raclette- which is SOOO much better than Fondue!!). Yes we love the Bon Marche and its chi-chi self (note those links are to photos I took). It didn't last though... I may live my life administratively in French, I may have written and researched a 15,000 word political/analytical thesis for one of the two leading French Grand Ecoles in my field and got the highest score (from a French professor who did NOT inflate grades), I may have worked in the interior of the Ministry of Etrangeness. But I cannot pass a stupid fucking lanugage exam in French for this blasted organisation that gives WHOLE NEW MEANING to the phrase Bass-Ackwards. Partially this is my fault, HR called me on Wednesday and said "oh we forgot to tell you that you won't receive your accurate pay grade (which for the record is not a promotion, I stay the same grade- just become permanent so I get some extra benefits, substantial ones but still...) without having passed the language exam." So I get on the horn and screeched and beseeched the learning center to let me take this exam, Honto-Pronto-Tonto! I forgot that my ADD (yes I am diagnosed with a mild case, since I was 9, but it only affects me when... wait for it... I take exams, especially multiple choice ones and timed multiple choice is like the motherfreaking jackpot. DING DING DING- that whole impulsivity part of ADD is my bitch to bear) was going to run my ass round a block. In delusions I accepted to take the exam on a Friday afternoon at 5pm. And right before I left, I had to deal with my French bank. I hate French Banks... Yeah so I guess I asked to fail the motherfucking exam by 3 bloody written grammar questions. Merry Effing Bahhumbug Christmas- not as much of a pay out as I thought I was gonna get. I think it might be time to start designing that F-YOU cabled sweater for Murphy. But I can find humour in French- the Meteo Man. I have only lived one place where I trusted the weatherman- Arizona. Not hard- "It will be sunny and hot today..." Otherwise they are asshats to be ignored in my book. My buddy Chris- made a most hysterical rant on them just today. But anyways... the Meteo here in France is something to behold. I am quite sure somewhere in grade school the kids are given a full meterological course to know how to figure out what the hell the are talking about and what all those numbers are about. And in the morning when I am watching the Meteo Man he starts dancing around my screen across the map of France with the numbers swirling around him- to some 70s music (this is what I get for watching Canal Plus instead of Telematin) he tells me that all of France is going to be depressive. Yup- they are all as pissed as I am that I am down 400 euros becuase of the fricking fracking French language. That or it is related to the acid I was dropping in my sleep- cause what else is going to explain a Meteo Man dancing on my screen across the map of France to 70s music??? Go with me here-laugh; if I can't laugh at this shit boys and girls I may start to shoot people... yes Claudia this is why I knit and may just make Salina in Rage :) but that discussion is for the next post- It is coming, I promise! Ok on to the knitting. I will give you one guess at what this is. Yes I have jumped ship and the twitchy hands have given up monogamy. I even gave indecision the heave ho and chose a pattern... Cause monogamy is over rated and the Clap, it made me itchy (well the yarn didn't that is soft as butter but I am trying to be funny here). Clap and me after 4 balls of yarn and 1.5 weekd of fiendish knitting... well we needed a bit of a break. At this stage the Clap looks almost the same as before, only 17 stitches have been dropped and it is still not long enough. It needs to be the length of the sofa/futon/bed. Bring on the sock! Yes so I started it on Friday night, where me and my "I cant speak the French" self watched the Star Ac. And on Saturday I plonked my ass on the sofa and barely budged. It was not a commercial weekend for Tink, thank the gods! I watched cartoons, I read a bit about the Wives of Henry VIII. And after 3 teenage angst shows from the US (I haven't a clue what they are called stateside- but are new) the Maillon Faible/French version of Weakest Link (where dude me and my inadequate French KICKED ASS) and 2 episodes of Charmed... this is where we are. Zoom Zoom. I might just finish before I leave, because as of today that one has an identical twin. I started it Sunday during the brunch Movie. MIGHT, watch me plonk out at the end. My over achieving ass learned the hard way to Aim LOW... Moreover... the above noted lunch break I took time to put procrASStination out of the way for a day and blocked out the last bit of Helen's sweater. It has since finished blocking and is waiting for me and procrASStination to have another meeting with likker to seam 'er up. I will say as my dumbass self slightly pinked myself (not a burn but I NOTICED) this sweater has been sufficiently blessed with me doing the holy dance around it, water spitting out of iron's the broken steam valve and me uttering FUCK alot... No worries though Helen- I would do it all over again for you my sweets. Anyways that is the knitting, me I am back to dancing around as I have managed to get the one Ipod acceptable song I have onto my Ipod. YES I AM A PART OF THE NEW WAVE... and giddy about it :) Now to keep me and my credit card permanently seperated as I want to buy all sorts of things like... TV SHOWS and Music and TV SHOWS- oh good god... they have Law and Order... This is sooooooo going to be the end of me. So for good measure here is one of my favorite pictures I have taken in a while. Enjoy!

Monday, December 05, 2005

ME ME ME ME- Funny how Meme Spells Out Isnt It??

The box is not big enough to put on my head- but Mama Mao delivered on the goods. And kick ass previous boss brought em back. I am in possession of one black 60G IPod. Not a fucking clue what to do with it or how to make it work, but it is all mine and the dancing has commenced. Knitting update?? It waits till the next post (when I have had time to make technology bend to my will). As does the colour game for Salina (whee ego boost- people do comment :) For now you can have meme’s. You want to blame it on anyone- Crazy Aunt Purl is the go to girl. I usually don’t get tagged with these things, but she went and tagged the whole internets. So enjoy. And if this doesn’t do it for you… go see the new Knitty.

TEN random things you might not know about me 1. My father passed away when I was 2 months old, to the day. 2. The size of my stomach and my bladder were arguably inversed at birth 3. I learned to knit on a complete whim, because it was dark and there was nothing else to do in the middle of a Norwegian winter. 4. I was a competitive collegiate cheerleader at a cheerleading powerhouse university. For one semester… it was like being in a cult down South! But I sure did love the flying in the air part. 5. For the most part I do not like my foods to touch each other on the plate, and I almost never swirl my foods together (unless they come that way) 6. I get GRUMPY without Dairy in my life. Milk is to me what coffee and tea are to the rest of you masses. My friends when I go off the edge in a serious way- they bring dairy. 7. I waddle when I walk, like a duck. A graceful duck. That is what 16 years of gymnastics and professional dance do- it’s called Turn Out and I got it in spades! 8. I can crack just about any joint in my body on command 9. My family owned the largest piece of land by an individual (130,000+acres/60,000hectares/approx12x17 miles) in the state of Arizona (until we sold it to an Indian Tribe). It was the family cattle ranch. And I grew up branding cows, wiring barbed wire fences, and wearing shit-kickers. 10. I could swim and ride a horse by myself before I could walk. Though I probably ought to pity the horse and its mane that I mangled… NINE places I’ve visited (or lived) 1. Egypt 2. Italy 3. Norway 4. Turkey 5. Spain 6. Greece 7. Sweden 8. England 9. Scotland EIGHT ways to win my heart 1. Make me laugh 2. Accept me for who I am, and be willing to let me grow 3. Show kindness to others 4. Be honest (and that is damn different than tactlessly honest) 5. Get me Abuela's Ring 6. Have an accent. I go particularly weak in the knees for English, Scottish, Aussie and Irish ones. But a good Spanish or Italian one can melt the heart too. 7. Debate with me, engagingly. And challenge me. 8. Indulge my insanity/neuroses SEVEN things I want to do before I die 1. Travel more, lots more and all over. But especially to continents not previously represented. 2. Have a family 3. Learn about photography. Serious I want to know how to take the pretty photos with the SLR and how to photoshop’em up. 4. Architecturally design my own home 5. Come to peace with my father’s death 6. Earn my pilot’s license 7. Skydive SIX things I’m afraid of 1. Ever having to deal with or encounter NASTY EX again 2. Not finding someone to love and be loved by 3. Being old at heart, yup I’d rather be developmentally delayed (as I am) than old at heart! 4. Not being accepted back for my PhD (i.e. Failure) 5. Being dependant on someone else for my needs and more 6. Irrationally (or rationally in my family) afraid of silence FIVE things I don’t like 1. Fanaticism, in any shape or form 2. The horribly disproportionate sense of entitlement and materialism in the US culture (kind of copying Cara on this one but really I would have said it on my own too. Great minds just think alike :) 3. Intolerance, which when paired with ignorance or blind ignorance is deathly 4. Being talked to condescendingly 5. Chickpeas (sounds odd but if you knew the childhood trauma story, you would understand) FOUR ways to turn me off 1. Paint me into a corner, I am a human not some creation in your mind that must fit your parameters never to step out of the box! 2. Be over critical and try to take me apart bit by bit 3. Make a joke of gender as an analytical lens. This is what I do- it isn’t a joke either 4. Be insecure in yourself, it shows THREE things I do every day 1. Ride the Metro 2. Drink milk 3. Crack my neck,back, hips etc... TWO things that make me happy 1. Living in Europe 2. Reading ONE thing on my mind right now 1. I just noticed I am sporting some Muffin Top- and it has GOT TO GO. I need to get more active people!

Meme 2: For shits and giggles A: Area Code You Are In Right Now: +33 6 B: Birthday: June 29, 1977 C: Current Crush: I got lots of them. Like Eddie Izzard for starts... D: Favorite Drink: Milk. Cranberry Juice mmmm and water. Vodka, Vino and Amaretto for the non-PG drinks. E: Eating Currently: Cheese puffs, yogurt, and madeleines- how bout dem apples for a healthy lunch. F: Favorite Food: Hard choice... Comfort foods I would give my right arm to have made for me- Abuela's Arroz con Leche or her Holiday soup. Hell I'd give for the recipes actually. Foods I can get at any time G: Who Do You Go To For Advice: Not that many people anymore. My network is a bit diminished as of late. So I go to the litte voice inside my head. H: Happy or Sad: Can I be in between?? It is a Monday afterall I: I think: I think thinking can be overrated sometimes. J: Job: Much more glamourous sounding than the reality of this place... K: Any Kids: nope- not yet. But one day I hope L: I Love: dancing like there is no one watching M: Favorite Movie: again hard choices for the time being I am going to do a double pull on comedy. I am in a make me laugh mood. I LOVE Zorro the Gay Blade and have since childhood. After that we have 4 Weddings and a Funeral. Still makes me laugh and I am known to shout FUCK-A-DOODLE-DOOO thanks to that movie :) N: Your Phone Number: +33 06. no drunk dialers P: Favorite Perfume or Cologne: Signature perfume- Angel by Thierry Mugler, Summery Perfume; Hesperidies by Fresh, and natural scent I adore- Lemon Verbena Q: A Little Quirk About Yourself: Little, only one. HAHAHAHA R: Last Road Trip: well there was one to the Centre of France and there is one this weekend to Normandie and Bretagne S: Tell Us One Secret: Shhhh I am T: Favorite TV Show: Ohh that is hard, I love lots of them. US TV- has to be Law and Order. (though I am a regular for Sex and the City, Nip Tuck, Southpark, and a few others) For French TV- I am going to say La Methode Cauet. And for Brit TV… well I am going to split that up- “old School” No doubts- Are You Being Served. “New school” Coupling and for the “Irish” of the shows Father Ted. U: Color of your Underwear: Most often black but sometimes you have to play guess the colour of the knickers V: Last Time You Were in Vegas: It was either 5 or 10 years ago… I am not a Vegas Girl. W: Wishful Thinking: that I will never have to take another computerized exam (GRE, Language Proficiency etc) in my life. X: X-Rays Taken This Year: Lungs, done twice as I didn’t souffle enough- to prove to the French that I did not have Tuberculosis Y: Your Favorite Year of your Life: one to come Z: Zodiac Sign: Cancer, and I am sooooo a Cancer in about every way you can think of...

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Salina the International Delurking Project

Those who know me know I LOVE me some salt (about as much as I LOVE me some sugar- these are 2 of my 4/5 main food groups- salt, sugar, dairy, meat and the joker group- which is anything else I decide I like but doesn't fit into one of the other 4). I believe I may have frightend Polly with my salt lick and soy sauce tendancies this past summer. And now I am adding salt to my knitting. Well Salina is what Kim Hargreaves called it. And I do quasi-speak the mother tongue Spanish so… Salina from Vintage Knits is Salt to my mush for matter brain. Now when the TBM were going on I bought the yarn to make Salina. The deal was too good to pass up (41 euros!! for yarn AND pattern). I managed to kick cure my case of indecision with the knowledge that I could come back and exchange it, Bless Marie! And after an hour of that place, really I am in such a state of overwhelm and confustion that I just want out! Now as one sweater (Helen's Sweater) is very close to crossing the finishing line, my next project is at first and heading towards second, and really now- I don't have enough knitting on the table with all those other little details, I figured NOW would be a good time to start my thought process on Salina. Yes people follow the genius... shut up in the back row... and follow ME. Ok so today I am bored out of my gourd. The new job is DEAD right now, which normally I would enjoy but I have already read the NYT, FT, and Le Monde. I have gone through my bloglines and replied to all recent emails. I have watched CNN on the organization’s internal circuit internet/TV and knit on Clapotis during my “lunch” break (at 12 dropped stitches and going straight!). And I still have NOTHING to do for the next 3 or so hours, before I can make a run to La Poste and for the Bon Marche (to pick up my TBM yarn, get some extra Clapotis yarn- same dyelot I HOPE, and maybe attend a Lefooding event with a friend who want to learn to knit). So here yee hear yee- I am declaring this international delurking day. Step up have an opinon- it's not like you will wear the sweater. This is interactive knitblogging people, and I like to hear an echo everyonce in a while :) I am debating about the following colours... And now I ask you to get active. All three of you reading, please help me choose a color. Do a girl's ego some good and vote. Vote often and VOTE :) I would like to think that this is a sweater I will wear a bunch, both through the Winter if I get it done in time but also in Spring, Fall, and even cool Summer nights. So below you will find the following feuding colours of Felted Tweed. (Yes I alliterate when I have nothing else to fucking do but think up same lettered words)
Image hosted by Image hosted by Image hosted by Image hosted by Herb Crush Sigh Rage
Now here is the part where you pretend that I can figure out how the hell to insert a freaking blogpoll and you choose one of the following responses and insert it as a comment. PRETTY PRETTY PLEASE!! A. Tink go and smoke the happy Herb B. Sing it with me now- "I've got a Crush on you" C. Sigh... do I HAVE to choose a colour?? D. Rage my friend. Rage against the machine. E. Look I might be colourblind- but I can participate and delurk too!