Tuesday, July 26, 2005

RAOKs RAOK

So I finally trekked my ass down to the Poste this week, as I have an avis de colis that I received last week. I swear I am so horrible about the Poste it is not even funny. And really there is no justification for it. Slight grump anyways though: our set of post boxes has a box for “oversized” packages. Nothing huge, but almost every package I have to schlep to get (sleep is precious in the am and I work till when they close so this makes for real FUN) would fit in that box. I am going to send someone a piece of my mind on that soon! Anyways I digress and digression over kindness is petty. And this is kindness that has irony cause I got a lovely RAOK. So let's talk about the office why don’t we? Many an entertaining thing happens here and really sometimes I have to laugh, cause if not well I might get violent yo. Today, thanks to my ever so kind neighbours arguing at the top of their lungs at 6am- and serious I sleep like a rock so waking me up is a feat to admire, admire while PISSED but admire nonetheless, I woke up. Amazing how that happens non? So I get my ass together and head to the post office to pick up the package. Turns out I have a box that would EASILY fit in the “oversized” box, but hey I have it now so let’s save the bitching for a still moving target. Now I am obviously doing this on the way into work, so I don’t rip it open with my bare hands I wait till I get to the office. I walk in and as part of my establish a habit week (tm) I immediately go to get my bottle to fill it with water. Guess what I notice folks?? That is right my friends, my water bottle is stolen AGAIN. THIEF… So I go and get a new bottle thinking to myself of the many ways I will mutilate this man, cause he is going DOWN. The ripe (and by ripe I mean I smell him for the next 10 minutes after he just walks in to get the garbage…) SOB is going to get it. And this poor box I just got, it totally is taking the initial brunt. I get my sharp objects and stab and slash to open in. HA take that cardboard… And once I open it I find that it is packaged lovely with pretty tissue paper and cute purple packing squiggles. So I get the card out and this ironic and LOVELY RAOK was sent to me by Miss Elizabeth. I cant thank you enough. I LOVE IT. Though just to give it that final cliché of irony, when he came in to clean last night... my card disappeared. Irony don't it just ring your bell??
Do you see this Mr. Thief??? You even THINK about touching this kick ass bottle and I will CUT YOU.
So Mr. THIEF, why don’t you do me a favour and go talk with your entertaining friend who loads the toilet paper in our bathrooms. Cause I am EVER entertained by the backwards dispenser that only gives me one measly sheet, at a time, of your one ply thinner than tissue paper to wipe my ass with. Soooo fucking funny. And while you are at it... have a conference call with the construction people that took over the toilets for 2 weeks of renovation. You call this fixing the toilets?? I listened to jackhammers and did the patented "I got to go pee-pee yeah you know me" dance for THIS?? You took my “holy shit there is a toilet with water in it” and replaced it with one that is all about saving the whales, and I am supposed to think of this as an improvement? I mean I am all for saving the whales, but I have had enough of the skid marks and the disappearing shit brush act (note in Europe toilets are not full of water and there for there is a brush at the side of the toilet for... well you get the picture). Get your acts together, before I go janitorial on you.
Until then though, I am going to keep knitting these socks and try to decide if the candy cane spiral striping is annoying me or not.

1 Comments:

Blogger Zardra said...

I'm glad it showed up alright (and that you like it). I've never sent anything to France before and wasn't sure what their postal philosophy was. :)

That's just funny that the guy took the card... guess he figured you didn't need it anymore. I wouldn't be surprised to find out he's in league with the toilet paper guy.

1:17 AM  

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