Wednesday, May 25, 2005

A Personal Letter Addressed To:

Dear Office Cleaning Man, I see you, YES YOU. I know that you come in here twice in the evening and people even say you are around here in the morning. I would not know because at those uncivilized hours I am still trying to bunny hop someone in my dreams. But I know this to be fact because after you leave I put more garbage in my bin, cause woooo hooooo- I AM STILL HERE, and it is gone in the morning. More importantly I know this because things move on my desk. Sure I believe (well kinda) in some form of supernatural (vague that up a bit more please…) but them they have a life, they do not move my phone so that it traps my keyboard and mouse cords thus making me twitch in the morning. If they did that they would want to be here and watch my ass twitch. NO I KNOW it is you. I also know you are a thief. That is right I am calling you a THIEF! You have been stealing my empty water bottles. The ones (as in three of them alone this week) with no lids that I use to get refills from the cold water tap they have here at work. This… THIS is NOT funny anymore. HINT HINT, if I am repeatedly leaving one there it is because I WANT IT. I am TRYING to loose some weight here. I know I require a hard helmet, elbow, knee and wrist protectors before I am allowed onto the short bus, and I know it seems counter intuituive that I, feeling like a water retaining seacow and wanting to loose what I hope is water weight would drink more water but that is what my fancy schmancy certification by the Murkin Sports Medical Clique told me, so I am trying to combine that Snickers breakfast with water to be all healthy and shit. So this little game you are playing, it is TOTALLY screwing with my vibe. I know you must think that this is something funny, but it is not. I say this on authority as as an ex-pat living abroad I can tell you with certainty that I entertain astonishingly easily. Trust me THIS, it is as hilarious as making me; the one with a no notice, squat on a toilet or not... bladder that stores like a camel, perform the patented "I got to go pee-pee, Yeah you know me" dance for my colleagues while waiting for an elevator to take me down 20 floors to get to a toilet; since you want me to listen to a symphony of JACKHAMMERS "fixing" ours and the 5 floors above and below us, that I can access, toilets AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME FOR THE WHOLE DAMN WEEK. Therefore I kindly request that you STOP IT NOW, as I am not entertained in the least by you fucking up my mornings like this. This is your last warning, no more of this polite Bonne Soirée crap. Steal another one and I will have to hurt you. And by that I dont mean maim I mean mutilate. Seriously one more time and I will lop of your hand, and go all consular on your ass or something. Bien Cordialement, Tink

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Hello to All the Bold and the Beautiful...

It is time for a game of weekend round up! First and foremost lets talk about notoriety. I am hoping since I got a complete shout out from Wendy last week (when else can you express your love telling someone they are a noix de gateaux aux fruit and get traffic for it?? I LOVE that lady :) I am going to try and use it for a good cause. There are lots of bloggers out there raising money for good causes. Wendy herself raised money to buy knitting baskets through Heifer and is now raising money for Susan G. Komen. Jen and La raised money for breast cancer, you would have to have been in an Iraqi trench not to know about our favorite Harlot and Blogueses sans Frontières and now Kitten is putting up shop for another good cause. I believe strongly in reproductive rights and sex education and I want to encourace anyone of you who is a woman, loves a woman, or raising one to make a donation. I know I will, once my transatlantic transfer makes it across the pond (I pay 15€ + a % of the amount for 48 hours fuckers not this two weeks BULLSHIT!). So here comes the soap box with profanities, cover the babies ears... It will surprise few of you who ever read my other blog or between my lines that politically while practical at heart, I am pretty much left of left- for the states in particular. But my beliefs goes further than any party affiliation and they have real life experience attached to them. I volunteered during college with Planned Parenthood and have done a Mission (do I sound Mormon to you, I know I said no question is a stupid question but really...) in the developing world (Public Policy Specialist and Development Political Economist present and accounted for) on family planning. I have seen things from a perspective that not many have and sure as hell not many men. If they did they wouldn't block up money for a bloody razor blade so that the umbilical cord can be cut without infecting the mother or child, cause one fucking pamphlet from the organisation in another god damn country mentioned the option of abortion. While there are many areas of my life I would not mind the government, when it comes to my body and its health and my well being, I see no place for government or anyone's religion. That is between me and whatever donut in the sky I talk to; not me and you and or your God. For the hypocrites out there this is what PRIVACY is about and it is NOT a selective concept nor is the idea of seperation of church and state. It is there for a reason. So sorry boys but until you have one, I say to Congress and George Bush: KEEP YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF MY GOD DAMN UTERUS and while your at it extend the same dignity and RIGHT to any other sentient females too!!! Whew!! There went a poof of smoke... Now on to the knitting stuff: Can you believe it?? I made it to Café Tricoter! I am so definitely proud of myself for this, as I even managed to arrive on time, not latina time but when I said I would! I talked knitting in French which is not my forte, well until Kate showed up looking all cute and totally not pregnant. Let the anglo-fest commence :) Mona came to chat too and was knitting a lovely sweater. I must confess though… do you know how odd it is for someone to walk right up to you and recognize you from your blog?? Let's just say it is pleasant but still well… odd :) Oh and I will have you all know that for TWICE the price of what I could have gotten it for in the state I got me a bible. Yes before we left Kate and I went up to buy our book (the one I cleverly stole out from under her nose :) And then Kate took me to a GREAT Japanese place for lunch. Can I tell you how much I loved that Yakinikudon?? TONS!!! I am so glad that I the finicky eater have started to open myself to other food options. Who knew I would love the pink ginger with my meat dipped in soy? Well the soy bit I knew, but pink ginger?? After that I spent the weekend knitting on Martha, going to the exhibition of the French Open and drooling over Guga (tickets sold out before my "lazy and in the Jeux Olympiques commercial film thing they did on the Champs" ass got out to Roland Garros- let's hope that tennis freak boss can find us some for this Saturday with his links), cleaning a bit, planting some window hangers, and lounging with my new bible. So what about Martha? Well wine and needles obviously do not go well together… however that said I expect that after watching Star Wars Episode 4 tonight that one if not both will be done. And then I get to face up to the evil sleeves and their shaping. I MIGHT just MIGHT make it in time (though I am not sure about them being blocked…) for the blogmeet with the cool kids on Thursday. *edited to note that I finished the second front on the métro today. Now to face up to the evil sleeve shaping tonight cause I have plans for tomorrow evening. Champions League and a Pint are calling my name... I think I can, I think I can, I think I can... :)* And this is my friendly disclaimer on dubbing: HOLY SHIT BATMAN Darth Vader’s voice in French SUCKS. I am supposed to hear heavy breathing and something like James Earl Jones, at the least deep and raspy- not some random French man and some panting… Furthermore it is one thing to call Shaggy Sammy; which I still am kind of wavering on forgiving you for... But what the fuck are you doing calling Chewbacca, Chico?? Who the hell gave you that kind of permission??

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Toto Try to Put Your Feet Down

Damn it has been a tornado over here with the turbines continuing the output of WOOOSH sounds. While it may have been a long weekend, it sure didn’t feel like it. Yup some of us here in France get a day off for someone jumping out of the clouds…Have to respect a country that has a holiday for skydiving :) And some people spent it on strike. Bienvenue à France. I had a great time with friends but drained myself of most all energy it seems. And MAN if that and all those damn stairs you climbed don’t catch up with you. So here is a very quick rundown of things Chez Tink: First of all I got thebookthebookthebook from Anna! I am so in LOVE with it and can’t thank Anna enough for her kind RAOK and the Harlot for being well herself and writing it down. It totally made my day. I have almost finished reading it because I had to sit and read on Tuesday instead of knit :) I don’t even want to bend the spine of it, I love it that much. And yes it will be going with me to the KIP at Brentano’s this weekend, if they don’t carry it I will tell them that they ought to! Should any other “locals” read here (besides Kate) you are welcome to meet up for Café Tricoter on this (May 21) Saturday morning between 10:30 to 12. I will be going to the Paris Loisirs before hand at l’Hotel de Ville so I should get to Brentano’s (avenue de l’Opéra) at around 11. Lets all pray they carry a knitting bible for Tink to buy at a REASONABLE price before she spontaneously combusts with this waiting thing :) Next up on the plate: there might be a shindig next week and I am TOTALLY stoked!! There will be knit bloggers to potentially meet here in town next week. I am so excited about this all I cant type more about it. The pressure it is ON :) Which brings us to Martha- which sidenote, I really want a better name for her, she deserves to have a name better than a OBC jailbird :) I have knit one front up to the arm hole/front shaping. Many might ask why I don’t just finish a bloody piece, besides that back, before I trek on to start another. They would be reasonable. It is because of two things. One I am not sure how I want to seam Martha together i.e. should I make the right side the wrong side and vice versa or something like that :) Second because I am not sure what neck line she should have. Most cardis I get are V-necks same for tops. I go for cowl, turtle, boat and V necks like crazy (after taking a look at my wardrobe). GAH! At least I found here to give me an idea of a Vneck look and the lovely and talented Bonne Marie has her version with a picture about a curved neckline option. I am visual people MUST.SEE to decide. Anyways I am knitting like a DEMON to finish knitting her in time for the possible shindig. I am hoping to prey with my stupidity on the kindness of others. Yes you all may consider this a warning that I might just try to make any KIP into a SIP for me (seam in public). So I am now knitting feverishly on the second front. And you know what I have a meditation for you all to end the post: You know you knit too much when you honestly contemplate typing a post with your nose or your toes because you want to get an extra couple of rows in during your lunch break in the office.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

You Wanna Know What I Did Monday Night?

Well I took photos for you, and Meesa gonna post dem (hint there is talk about Martha making a partial appearance- you know like she is running down the tarmac). And more interestingly I watched Star Wars: First Episode, a series that M6 is running leading up to the release of the last episode. But damn if it aint weird seeing it dubbed in French! Yoda and Jar-Jar just do not sound quite right… And while it is not as funny as Stash Wars, I still watched and wound me this. Yup that is Shimmer and she is EVER so soft on the hand. One more yarn that I am in adoration with, if you were a betting person you would note that I have a real thing for alpaca my friends (as well as cashmere and angora too :) If Shimmer came in solid colors, I would die and go to heaven. And then I would probably figure out a way to use it for that cropped tie toppy thing I want to make. As it is I am thinking I need to make a trail order from Knitpicks soon… So what else did I do you ask, isn’t that First Episode a long movie… well first when you don’t have tons of commercials it runs about 2 hours. And when you show up 20 minutes late and have to make dinner that doesn’t add to the time either. Second when you have 440 yards of lace weight yarn to hand wind, well you don’t do much else, cause it is just plain old time consuming. I looked at Martha’s left front for one reminiscing second. I switched around needles in that anticipatory dance, but when I saw how the pattern was adjusted my mind went all wonky. And since I had soft yarn and a ball to make I did that instead. But all this lead me to thinking that I need to line up the birthday list. We are almost one month and counting away. I have decided rather than waiting I am going to get myself things (Unless it is made clear that someone else is ordained to surprise me with gifts- as I will send this list around, yes I am THAT kind of girl. The one who says if you don't know me that well, and 9 out of 10 times you dont, I will tell you what I want. Please do not deviate from the list... do not get me shoes like THIS!!). These are things above and beyond the small amount I budget to treat myself monthly. I have three pressies in the line up- a ball winder (hence this tangent brought to you my the letter all about ME :) a necklace (Fuck waiting for a boy to bring you a pretty blue box go get it yourself grrl! Now to decide which one...), and music player (for now an Ipod Shuffle. Have to take advantage of the smuggling *erm* I mean traveling friend and I don’t have the funds yet for the real deal mega storage Ipod) And then just when the morning got started, I went to put this post together and the sun came out BAM starts the day. Wow people I just won through Blingo. A movie ticket (I mean if it was an Ipod you would hear the squeals where ever you are) but still that is enough for me. I am going to have the ticket sent to Mama Mao’s address and let her have the free movie :) But no that isn't enough... I am completely blown away today because Anna emailed me to ask if I wanted her extra she has of thebookthebookthebook ! Ummm... HELL YEAH!!!! I took 0.2 nanoseconds to fire that email off! I don’t know what I have done recently to have this one fall in my lap but I live my life by one rule... never look a gift horse in mouth or the hoof for that matter. Off to take a lunch time trip to La Poste. Certain people have some goodies coming their way, the Procrastination Princess has stepped off the throne :)

Monday, May 09, 2005

I Would Like to Introduce You to My Fairy Yarn Mother

Her name is Snooze. She is the worlds bestest. This random and gorgeous person picks up on my blog from my ranting and raving and steps in to wave a wand around. First out of nowhere like the blogless Liz whom I utterly adore and am going to finish those Koigu socks... and lest I forget (*edited: SOOOO sorry!!! I posted the wrong version- this is why one should check which version, home or work, of a document you are working on!*) Terri who enabled me into a great Bay area store where I got to touch yarns and take home some Lorna's Laces sock yarn. Snooze sends me a book when I was dealing with the play like your job offer is a piñata game dark pit; just you know to pick up my spirits. Then she ups the ante as she has read this whole blog and sends me GUSHERS!!! Oh the glory of Gushers… But not content to leave it there she goes one step further to make my Monday morning today. As when I exited the flat the postman had just placed a small package in my boite. So I pulled it out and since she of divine fairieness has a wonderful packaging ability, I waited till I got to work to open it. Ravaging a package whilst on the métro only to pull out yarn and rub it against your face in the car of the work commuters does make tend to make them well STARE at you. Would you like to know what this lovely lady (of whom I am totally jealous of- she has met theharlottheharlottheharlot, been blogged about by theharlottheharlottheharlot, I am betting she has thebookthebookthebook (oh I will get that book one day yes I will!), and many photos of theyarntheyarntheyarn along with access to Gushers :) sent me... Moonlight Shimmer! OH MI GOD… Mama Mao best love her Mother’s Day socks and be willing to ship yarn to me. Cause I see a yarn purchase coming up for her to ship me! I am no longer feeling Knitpicks hesitant/reticent. Now to see what I will make with the hank of shimmer I have, oh the ideas I might knit… More entertaining (as I truly do entertain much easier than you might guess, and really it would frighten you how easy it is to make me laugh like a bowl full of jelly) she sent me a clip on belly ring. This stemmed from a comment on the post about Mama Mao sending me $220 orthopedic clogs that gave me vision changing jolts of pain (for which she is still pouting over, I of heathen status have rejected her clogs that have a spring for a heel). Anyone who bats more than two eyelashes knows that even in my pragmatic nature I don’t do orthopedic clogs. Born, Dankso, Birkentstock, Dr. Scholls- sure. THESE shoes (link coming to a computer near you tomorrow), that is a negative ghost rider. Leading Snooze to say that she could see leather pants, or a belly ring but not orthopedic shoes, even she knew better. And to be honest if it weren't for the big needle deal I might have gotten one by now. Anyways, I may not love my tummy but I will be sporting it and there will be photos. Though a photo shoot at work might really make them think I am crazy, not just insane. On the knitting front- I have finished the back of Martha, the sleeves are both back up to the evil shaping stage, and I have started a front (that is on halt as I need. I think Polly describes knitting 4ply cotton best. This takes FOREVER. And no I don’t have photos right now, I will edit them in tomorrow… Why am I such a flake on these things... well I am fighting myself on this. Part of me says get the internet at the flat, then you can be all involved and such things that being hip in the 21st century and connected implies. But the internet in the flat sucks me into a deep dark vortex from which I know that time disappears. I kind of like my calm and relaxed evenings, but then again I end up staying much later at work to satisfy my internet fix. Chances are I am going to try and figure out a way to do it. Hence the note to self: must learn self control. And to leave you with your laugh of the day that I got after turning in the paper with two salvageable sentences that gave me a cherry topped ulcer… this is PERFECT. Do not click through should you be prudish, it is knitting gone... well nothing profane but not for those people who wish to ignore anatomy. I totally almost wee’d when I saw it. It screams Kitten, La and Rock Chick.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Talk to the Bad Blogger After the Beep

Am alive, am occasionally knitting, am working on this stupid paper which is resulting in panic attacks with a cherry topped ulcer, am about to go on holiday (we have a long weekend for Ascension- something about going up the hill I guess :) am having people visiting from out of town for the holiday weekend. Am not going to probably be able to blog till next Monday, but will try to write said blog entry over weekend and finish said bloody paper so that I can make proper ass of self in front of boss. Am going to try and take photos of Martha and finished India socks that are for Mama Mao. Have a great one!