Follow the Yellow Brick Road

Just in case you didn't know or get the message below... and cause I have gotten lazy about things since the initial switcheroo... I am no longer posting here. I can now be found at either of these urls: they both link to the same site. www.fidgetyknitting.com www.fidgetyknitting.mu.nu Bises! Hope to finish the spring cleaning and to see you around!

I Didn't Think I'd Do This...

Or at least do it so soon... But there you are! I am going public pretty or not...
Happy Friday the 13th! I can now be found HERE. Go forth and Comment. THERE!!!

Woo Hoo

This is the technical update (knitting one to come later today) 2005 was the technoligcal year where in all roads to hell were paved with good intentions. And if I had my way it would have been with shattered Dell computers and the remnants of my "friends" in Bangalore whom I wish ever so poignantly to dismember such that even Henry VIII would blush at the brutality... What?? Like you don’t think about those kinds of things when you have been on hold for 44 minutes over an international phone line… 2006 has started off on a bit better tone (after a few phone calls with Dell which lead to self-commentaries like "Don’t they say that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result? Yeah, Hi my name is Little Latin Lupe and I think White Jackets are going to be the newest fashion trend. Hell I think that might just be my first design pattern!"). I have gotten things upgraded on the computer to the point that I think it might just function and even better it picked up WiFi this morning at my flat so I can crib for a while and work on this from home! What does this mean? It means the blog move will probably go a bit faster. I have the MT installed, now to figure out the set up (Holy Shit Batman that is making my head swim). Have no clue on design but so goes- anyone with Photoshop skills or ideas/suggestions... feel free to speak up. All archived posts have been sent over and I am working on republishing them (inserting the photos etc). I am testing out Flickr for photo storage and posting capabilities- if anyone has suggestions on how to post to an MT blog with more than one photo at at time that is stored on Flickr- lemme know! And I THINK that in about 2 weeks I should have things tidy (though probably not pretty) enough that I can direct you all there and delete out over here! So bring it on new year!

2006

My hairdresser and psychiatrist back home told me over the holidays that this coming year would be about stability and change for me. Yeah cause those two words are supposed to go together. But maybe just maybe… that is if I don’t hyperventilate about it all first. With the New Year I feel this urge to make resolutions, goals, and other things that will only serve as a measure to my level of failure. Fact stands that I can disappoint myself New Year or not, thankyouverymuch. As one smart lady quoted Yoda saying… "Do or not do. There is no try." I never feel a desire to do it as much as an obligation and well I do this kind of shit year round anyways. Hi! Listmakers anonymous, I have 2 skips full of lists- does that mean I need to got to a meeting again?? In reality I feel like this desire to purge feeling is moreorless attached to the seasons for me. I am about wanting to shed my skin and try to recreate at least 4 times a year (oh how I wish I could be a Phoenix some days…) So on January 1, as I have stated many a times before, I am NOT about resolving- except that I resolve to continue to disavow myself of the concept surrounding that resolution word. But here Chez Tink, that don’t mean I can't be about lists like Crazy Aunt Purl or about moving and shaking. And moving and shaking is what has my goat currently! Unfortunately for now I don’t have time to make lists, I barely have time for this post. I am buried under all sorts of shit I am trying to ignore. And since I am going to start this one off right, I am about seeing if I can get up off my tuckus and get shit DONE. You know getting past my “get that ass back in the saddle” hump that has been doing the neener-neener-neener dance in front of me. So if you hear a bit more white noise and a lot less loud noise around here, know it is for the best and that well it too shall pass (like my freaking holidays- vortex suck me up Scotty!). Never you fear though- in all this chaos, I am working on bringing it to you bigger (yes that means more and BIGGER FONTS- just for you Claudia :) and hopefully better as we speak. If I can learn about a bunch of stuff and make it all my bitch it will be done before the end of the month. And for all 3 of you interested… I will be back posting some of the updates when I recover from all this wizardry I am taking part of right now. Happy New Year Every One!!

Cake or Death...

Lemme think about that one alright?? Note to Life... Take it down a notch. Pretty Please. Gros Bisous avec un Cerise... Tink Oy. This weekend and the knitting and the getting ready to go on "vacation" and the... oh yeah the photos that make me want to jump off the knitting bridge. So in short form here is the 411. Note this is my last post before I head over the big blue pond on a plane (and possibly till the New Year depending on how things go at Mama Mao's (and whether I kill her and her "snores louder than a moped and lives in denial" ass) and then what all goes on when I am back- but happy, happy; joy, joy- one thing has gone right and in January (but not January One cause I am not that cool, nor capable) I will move the blog to its own independant URL and site using MT. And I will never ever again have to deal with the hell of blogger. Amen) So where do we stand. Well on the positive side (cause you know once those words come out the mouth there is a yin to the yang. The kind that makes you want to take yin and yank yang before taking them out back for some "Holiday" cheer) we have two finished knitted gifts. Mama Mao will not be sporting toeless socks as I finished them up and all is seamed in. I didnt graft them as I find grafting to be the antichrist but I did them in true vintage style- three needle bind off. Yes the socks be DONE. Gussets weren't perfect, but they do look pretty nice. Only another knitter would notice the gussets anyways. But riddle me this Batman- how the fuck do I end up using one ball of yarn on each of these socks to get to here. And then have one be half a pattern repeat (5 rounds) longer than the other... But the good thing is that the Bon Marche had my yarn and even in the same dyelot. Score one for Tink. Next knitted gift well it was done and decided to be added to the list after fiasco numero tres. Here we have one of my all time favorite basic cables hat in one of my all time favorite Cashmerino Aran colours (Cranberry). Why well cause it is quick and see below. So um the Christmas elves (both at work screwing up my pay meaning I get my raise but NEXT MONTH yeah, don't get me started) left my ass coal at this stage. Murphy and I are like... *THIS* Serious boys and girls, Clapotis... it hateth me. All over my irrational love of even numbers. If I had just stopped at 21, I would be done. But no... I wouldn't do that. I did 22 straight repeats and then at the tail end of the decrease rounds... you know the story. I ran out of yarn. Score 1 for Demonic Christmas Elves. I SOOOOOO should have just fucking bought that extra ball of yarn in my dyelot when I went last time, but noooooooo I was SURE that I would have enough. I DID NOT. And after trying to scramble all my scraps together (cause I only started balls on the purlside) I was at 23 st left. Do you know how pathetic this is. Cause yes there is no more yarn in Paris of this dyelot, or *swift kick in the ass* colour. Fuck me raw and over the chainsaw. SHIT. FUCK. BUGGER. Earth shaking?? That was me twitching on Sunday. When I had anticipated being all DONE. So I had to sit and think. Clapotis is LOVELY (besides the HATING ME bit) and I love it lots (even though it doesn't love me- why dont the inanimate objects love me??) but I am at a cross roads. (And then I sat and though about why the hell the EBay seller Cucumberpatch can't be arsed to answer a simple question (can she ship faster or in side the EU) so I can purchase one pack of RYC Cashsoft DK in Sage to make me a Clapotis of my own. NOT A GOOD IMPRESSION LADY!!) Do I leave it as is, buy a ball of yarn in Seattle and sneak finish the fucker up? Do I rip the bitch out and take it down one repeat and use it as a blanket to knit on the flight over (HOPING that it would be done in that time)? Do I scream at the inanimate object and then smack myself silly for playing with le fati ignoranti? (Yeah ummm I already did that for those playing the game) Who knows I have yet to decide but since I am on a plane in about 18 hours, a decision will be made sometime during them.. End of the first half: The score is even. Demonic Christmas Elves 1 v. Tink 1 and one half left to be decided. Ps... this post has been brought to you by parentheses. Happy Ho-Ho-Holidays to all of you and all your close ones. Hold someone, eat some cookies and take a moment to smile and enjoy the season!

Ho-Ho-Ho... Who You Calling A Ho??

MOI??? Yeah well ok, if you must... This is me right about now. We are 7 days and counting and I have bunches up my sleeve that I am ignoring. Ostrich method, displays my expanding and smoking ass... So umm yeah that whole silence bit and the blogger ate part of my post where I linked to Homey the Clown has gone on too, thank god it looks like the blogger bit will be changing as the first of the year should see me this url out on it's own. Long and short though, it all took it out of me. As did the stuffy nose that showed up just in time for me to go for Holiday weekend to Normandy and teh confirmation that my post will indeed be changing divisions and location... are you kidding me. Stability why does thou forsaketh me. Is it because I speaketh to you in yee old English?? Well this is what I sayeth to you with alleth mee sarcasm: Yeah life... I LOVE YOU. Anyways here is where the holiday knitting is at. Clapotis has 2-3 more stitches to be dropped before the I can call an end to the straight rows section and start that decreasing bit. Seconding Polly I can say you knit faster when you run out of yarn. And the socks have run out of yarn at the toe shaping part. Dontcha know it. What do you think Mama Mao would think about toe-less socks. I mean we have finger-less mitts... It could be the newest and bestest trend evah!! Ok so I think both my mother and I will have as much excitement behind that as I do for the holidays right now. Back to the Bon Marche once I am out of yarn, and probably when Clapotis is done. Now for Salina since I have gone all static silence on you about it... it seems all 19!!! (I think that was a record and totally made me feel loved. So lots of hugs to all of you!!!) of you have an opinion. Now what I didnt say, is that as long as I like the yarn- I will probably be using it again, to make Elfin (once I work up the courage). So we can take two contestants. Most of the world thought Herb should be the color of choice (with the double tallying- Herb got 12, Rage 5, Crush 3 and Sigh 2). I currently have Rage in hand and think Rage would make a better Salina than Elfin... Anyone care to chime in?? I have to go knit on the Clapotis.... and block a baby sweater that should have been in the mail EONS ago. Oh yeah and go the one of my 3 work Christmas parties. Ho freaking ho indeed... sorry but the holiday spirt (different from the materialistic one) just hasn't quite hit me yet.

WAR!ON!CHRISTMAS!KNITTING!

We break this blog’s intended content about the colour choice for Salina to bring you the following breaking news flash! It is under two weeks before I get on a plane, fly over the big blue ocean and am back in the land of materialism, the US of A for a cheer, a jeer and all that good stuff with Mama Mao and friends. However, the knitting of gifts- it not be done. I swear for all that Zoom Zoom start, it feels never ending and seems like I will NOT be crossing the finishing line. Yup that’s me- fount of positive thinking. Let’s all gather the power of positive thought and think about how Tink will be knitting this weekend in Bretagne and Normandie in front of a BLAZING fire. How she will finish a Clapotis or freaking sock otherwise?? She will not leave for the Holidays with out having achieved success! So instead of the Bush Administration and the War!on!Terror! (which seriously I can’t wait for CNN but I know seeing that much about US politics will bring my Tourettes back out of remission. Yes I will need to attend the “anonymous” meetings for people who shout at their televisions…) I bring you the War!on!Christmas!Knitting! I am in my own version of Christmas knitting panic mode- so this justifies setting my pacifist tendencies aside and gives me the executive power to declare war on something right?? Ignore my granola girl pacifist tendencies... Declare War!on!Christmas!Knitting! War on the socks… War on the Clapotis… War on Helen’s Sweater… War on Pretty Wrappy Top… What brought this all about from a self-ascribed pacifist?? Hey homicide is not the same as war :) Well it was looking around and hearing about the religious nutjobs already from this side of the pond, knowing that I will hear about them in the US. Nutjobs like these. NO I AM NOT talking about you normal religious people who are respectful of all to believe as they choose and just want to spread holiday cheer. I mean the ones squealing about victimization or persecution of the majority as someone dares to say Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas. Or anyone calling the ACLU the “Against Christmas Liberties Union,” you know the Union that is out to get you, your children, that mythical creation of “American culture,” and the baby Jesus too. Consider this a warning- any person who chants the talking point about putting the Christ back in CHRISTmas… or even better tasting the Christ in Grandma’s CHRISTmas cookies- they are getting smacked upside the head with a nice shouting side of

Blah-de-blah-blah

Last week I had a GLORIOUS Thursday. What else could you call going to your yarn store (the Bon Marche) to pick up the TBM yarn you bought, and the last 3 balls of Clapotis yarn in your dyelot and being served 3 flutes of champagne (Moet and Chandon) for free??? Call me, and my best buddy who I am going to teach to knit, happy and a bit tipsy on the way out to a dinner of cheese (Raclette- which is SOOO much better than Fondue!!). Yes we love the Bon Marche and its chi-chi self (note those links are to photos I took). It didn't last though... I may live my life administratively in French, I may have written and researched a 15,000 word political/analytical thesis for one of the two leading French Grand Ecoles in my field and got the highest score (from a French professor who did NOT inflate grades), I may have worked in the interior of the Ministry of Etrangeness. But I cannot pass a stupid fucking lanugage exam in French for this blasted organisation that gives WHOLE NEW MEANING to the phrase Bass-Ackwards. Partially this is my fault, HR called me on Wednesday and said "oh we forgot to tell you that you won't receive your accurate pay grade (which for the record is not a promotion, I stay the same grade- just become permanent so I get some extra benefits, substantial ones but still...) without having passed the language exam." So I get on the horn and screeched and beseeched the learning center to let me take this exam, Honto-Pronto-Tonto! I forgot that my ADD (yes I am diagnosed with a mild case, since I was 9, but it only affects me when... wait for it... I take exams, especially multiple choice ones and timed multiple choice is like the motherfreaking jackpot. DING DING DING- that whole impulsivity part of ADD is my bitch to bear) was going to run my ass round a block. In delusions I accepted to take the exam on a Friday afternoon at 5pm. And right before I left, I had to deal with my French bank. I hate French Banks... Yeah so I guess I asked to fail the motherfucking exam by 3 bloody written grammar questions. Merry Effing Bahhumbug Christmas- not as much of a pay out as I thought I was gonna get. I think it might be time to start designing that F-YOU cabled sweater for Murphy. But I can find humour in French- the Meteo Man. I have only lived one place where I trusted the weatherman- Arizona. Not hard- "It will be sunny and hot today..." Otherwise they are asshats to be ignored in my book. My buddy Chris- made a most hysterical rant on them just today. But anyways... the Meteo here in France is something to behold. I am quite sure somewhere in grade school the kids are given a full meterological course to know how to figure out what the hell the are talking about and what all those numbers are about. And in the morning when I am watching the Meteo Man he starts dancing around my screen across the map of France with the numbers swirling around him- to some 70s music (this is what I get for watching Canal Plus instead of Telematin) he tells me that all of France is going to be depressive. Yup- they are all as pissed as I am that I am down 400 euros becuase of the fricking fracking French language. That or it is related to the acid I was dropping in my sleep- cause what else is going to explain a Meteo Man dancing on my screen across the map of France to 70s music??? Go with me here-laugh; if I can't laugh at this shit boys and girls I may start to shoot people... yes Claudia this is why I knit and may just make Salina in Rage :) but that discussion is for the next post- It is coming, I promise! Ok on to the knitting. I will give you one guess at what this is. Yes I have jumped ship and the twitchy hands have given up monogamy. I even gave indecision the heave ho and chose a pattern... Cause monogamy is over rated and the Clap, it made me itchy (well the yarn didn't that is soft as butter but I am trying to be funny here). Clap and me after 4 balls of yarn and 1.5 weekd of fiendish knitting... well we needed a bit of a break. At this stage the Clap looks almost the same as before, only 17 stitches have been dropped and it is still not long enough. It needs to be the length of the sofa/futon/bed. Bring on the sock! Yes so I started it on Friday night, where me and my "I cant speak the French" self watched the Star Ac. And on Saturday I plonked my ass on the sofa and barely budged. It was not a commercial weekend for Tink, thank the gods! I watched cartoons, I read a bit about the Wives of Henry VIII. And after 3 teenage angst shows from the US (I haven't a clue what they are called stateside- but are new) the Maillon Faible/French version of Weakest Link (where dude me and my inadequate French KICKED ASS) and 2 episodes of Charmed... this is where we are. Zoom Zoom. I might just finish before I leave, because as of today that one has an identical twin. I started it Sunday during the brunch Movie. MIGHT, watch me plonk out at the end. My over achieving ass learned the hard way to Aim LOW... Moreover... the above noted lunch break I took time to put procrASStination out of the way for a day and blocked out the last bit of Helen's sweater. It has since finished blocking and is waiting for me and procrASStination to have another meeting with likker to seam 'er up. I will say as my dumbass self slightly pinked myself (not a burn but I NOTICED) this sweater has been sufficiently blessed with me doing the holy dance around it, water spitting out of iron's the broken steam valve and me uttering FUCK alot... No worries though Helen- I would do it all over again for you my sweets. Anyways that is the knitting, me I am back to dancing around as I have managed to get the one Ipod acceptable song I have onto my Ipod. YES I AM A PART OF THE NEW WAVE... and giddy about it :) Now to keep me and my credit card permanently seperated as I want to buy all sorts of things like... TV SHOWS and Music and TV SHOWS- oh good god... they have Law and Order... This is sooooooo going to be the end of me. So for good measure here is one of my favorite pictures I have taken in a while. Enjoy!

ME ME ME ME- Funny how Meme Spells Out Isnt It??

The box is not big enough to put on my head- but Mama Mao delivered on the goods. And kick ass previous boss brought em back. I am in possession of one black 60G IPod. Not a fucking clue what to do with it or how to make it work, but it is all mine and the dancing has commenced. Knitting update?? It waits till the next post (when I have had time to make technology bend to my will). As does the colour game for Salina (whee ego boost- people do comment :) For now you can have meme’s. You want to blame it on anyone- Crazy Aunt Purl is the go to girl. I usually don’t get tagged with these things, but she went and tagged the whole internets. So enjoy. And if this doesn’t do it for you… go see the new Knitty.

TEN random things you might not know about me 1. My father passed away when I was 2 months old, to the day. 2. The size of my stomach and my bladder were arguably inversed at birth 3. I learned to knit on a complete whim, because it was dark and there was nothing else to do in the middle of a Norwegian winter. 4. I was a competitive collegiate cheerleader at a cheerleading powerhouse university. For one semester… it was like being in a cult down South! But I sure did love the flying in the air part. 5. For the most part I do not like my foods to touch each other on the plate, and I almost never swirl my foods together (unless they come that way) 6. I get GRUMPY without Dairy in my life. Milk is to me what coffee and tea are to the rest of you masses. My friends when I go off the edge in a serious way- they bring dairy. 7. I waddle when I walk, like a duck. A graceful duck. That is what 16 years of gymnastics and professional dance do- it’s called Turn Out and I got it in spades! 8. I can crack just about any joint in my body on command 9. My family owned the largest piece of land by an individual (130,000+acres/60,000hectares/approx12x17 miles) in the state of Arizona (until we sold it to an Indian Tribe). It was the family cattle ranch. And I grew up branding cows, wiring barbed wire fences, and wearing shit-kickers. 10. I could swim and ride a horse by myself before I could walk. Though I probably ought to pity the horse and its mane that I mangled… NINE places I’ve visited (or lived) 1. Egypt 2. Italy 3. Norway 4. Turkey 5. Spain 6. Greece 7. Sweden 8. England 9. Scotland EIGHT ways to win my heart 1. Make me laugh 2. Accept me for who I am, and be willing to let me grow 3. Show kindness to others 4. Be honest (and that is damn different than tactlessly honest) 5. Get me Abuela's Ring 6. Have an accent. I go particularly weak in the knees for English, Scottish, Aussie and Irish ones. But a good Spanish or Italian one can melt the heart too. 7. Debate with me, engagingly. And challenge me. 8. Indulge my insanity/neuroses SEVEN things I want to do before I die 1. Travel more, lots more and all over. But especially to continents not previously represented. 2. Have a family 3. Learn about photography. Serious I want to know how to take the pretty photos with the SLR and how to photoshop’em up. 4. Architecturally design my own home 5. Come to peace with my father’s death 6. Earn my pilot’s license 7. Skydive SIX things I’m afraid of 1. Ever having to deal with or encounter NASTY EX again 2. Not finding someone to love and be loved by 3. Being old at heart, yup I’d rather be developmentally delayed (as I am) than old at heart! 4. Not being accepted back for my PhD (i.e. Failure) 5. Being dependant on someone else for my needs and more 6. Irrationally (or rationally in my family) afraid of silence FIVE things I don’t like 1. Fanaticism, in any shape or form 2. The horribly disproportionate sense of entitlement and materialism in the US culture (kind of copying Cara on this one but really I would have said it on my own too. Great minds just think alike :) 3. Intolerance, which when paired with ignorance or blind ignorance is deathly 4. Being talked to condescendingly 5. Chickpeas (sounds odd but if you knew the childhood trauma story, you would understand) FOUR ways to turn me off 1. Paint me into a corner, I am a human not some creation in your mind that must fit your parameters never to step out of the box! 2. Be over critical and try to take me apart bit by bit 3. Make a joke of gender as an analytical lens. This is what I do- it isn’t a joke either 4. Be insecure in yourself, it shows THREE things I do every day 1. Ride the Metro 2. Drink milk 3. Crack my neck,back, hips etc... TWO things that make me happy 1. Living in Europe 2. Reading ONE thing on my mind right now 1. I just noticed I am sporting some Muffin Top- and it has GOT TO GO. I need to get more active people!

Meme 2: For shits and giggles A: Area Code You Are In Right Now: +33 6 B: Birthday: June 29, 1977 C: Current Crush: I got lots of them. Like Eddie Izzard for starts... D: Favorite Drink: Milk. Cranberry Juice mmmm and water. Vodka, Vino and Amaretto for the non-PG drinks. E: Eating Currently: Cheese puffs, yogurt, and madeleines- how bout dem apples for a healthy lunch. F: Favorite Food: Hard choice... Comfort foods I would give my right arm to have made for me- Abuela's Arroz con Leche or her Holiday soup. Hell I'd give for the recipes actually. Foods I can get at any time G: Who Do You Go To For Advice: Not that many people anymore. My network is a bit diminished as of late. So I go to the litte voice inside my head. H: Happy or Sad: Can I be in between?? It is a Monday afterall I: I think: I think thinking can be overrated sometimes. J: Job: Much more glamourous sounding than the reality of this place... K: Any Kids: nope- not yet. But one day I hope L: I Love: dancing like there is no one watching M: Favorite Movie: again hard choices for the time being I am going to do a double pull on comedy. I am in a make me laugh mood. I LOVE Zorro the Gay Blade and have since childhood. After that we have 4 Weddings and a Funeral. Still makes me laugh and I am known to shout FUCK-A-DOODLE-DOOO thanks to that movie :) N: Your Phone Number: +33 06. no drunk dialers P: Favorite Perfume or Cologne: Signature perfume- Angel by Thierry Mugler, Summery Perfume; Hesperidies by Fresh, and natural scent I adore- Lemon Verbena Q: A Little Quirk About Yourself: Little, only one. HAHAHAHA R: Last Road Trip: well there was one to the Centre of France and there is one this weekend to Normandie and Bretagne S: Tell Us One Secret: Shhhh I am T: Favorite TV Show: Ohh that is hard, I love lots of them. US TV- has to be Law and Order. (though I am a regular for Sex and the City, Nip Tuck, Southpark, and a few others) For French TV- I am going to say La Methode Cauet. And for Brit TV… well I am going to split that up- “old School” No doubts- Are You Being Served. “New school” Coupling and for the “Irish” of the shows Father Ted. U: Color of your Underwear: Most often black but sometimes you have to play guess the colour of the knickers V: Last Time You Were in Vegas: It was either 5 or 10 years ago… I am not a Vegas Girl. W: Wishful Thinking: that I will never have to take another computerized exam (GRE, Language Proficiency etc) in my life. X: X-Rays Taken This Year: Lungs, done twice as I didn’t souffle enough- to prove to the French that I did not have Tuberculosis Y: Your Favorite Year of your Life: one to come Z: Zodiac Sign: Cancer, and I am sooooo a Cancer in about every way you can think of...

Salina the International Delurking Project

Those who know me know I LOVE me some salt (about as much as I LOVE me some sugar- these are 2 of my 4/5 main food groups- salt, sugar, dairy, meat and the joker group- which is anything else I decide I like but doesn't fit into one of the other 4). I believe I may have frightend Polly with my salt lick and soy sauce tendancies this past summer. And now I am adding salt to my knitting. Well Salina is what Kim Hargreaves called it. And I do quasi-speak the mother tongue Spanish so… Salina from Vintage Knits is Salt to my mush for matter brain. Now when the TBM were going on I bought the yarn to make Salina. The deal was too good to pass up (41 euros!! for yarn AND pattern). I managed to kick cure my case of indecision with the knowledge that I could come back and exchange it, Bless Marie! And after an hour of that place, really I am in such a state of overwhelm and confustion that I just want out! Now as one sweater (Helen's Sweater) is very close to crossing the finishing line, my next project is at first and heading towards second, and really now- I don't have enough knitting on the table with all those other little details, I figured NOW would be a good time to start my thought process on Salina. Yes people follow the genius... shut up in the back row... and follow ME. Ok so today I am bored out of my gourd. The new job is DEAD right now, which normally I would enjoy but I have already read the NYT, FT, and Le Monde. I have gone through my bloglines and replied to all recent emails. I have watched CNN on the organization’s internal circuit internet/TV and knit on Clapotis during my “lunch” break (at 12 dropped stitches and going straight!). And I still have NOTHING to do for the next 3 or so hours, before I can make a run to La Poste and for the Bon Marche (to pick up my TBM yarn, get some extra Clapotis yarn- same dyelot I HOPE, and maybe attend a Lefooding event with a friend who want to learn to knit). So here yee hear yee- I am declaring this international delurking day. Step up have an opinon- it's not like you will wear the sweater. This is interactive knitblogging people, and I like to hear an echo everyonce in a while :) I am debating about the following colours... And now I ask you to get active. All three of you reading, please help me choose a color. Do a girl's ego some good and vote. Vote often and VOTE :) I would like to think that this is a sweater I will wear a bunch, both through the Winter if I get it done in time but also in Spring, Fall, and even cool Summer nights. So below you will find the following feuding colours of Felted Tweed. (Yes I alliterate when I have nothing else to fucking do but think up same lettered words)

Herb Crush Sigh Rage

Now here is the part where you pretend that I can figure out how the hell to insert a freaking blogpoll and you choose one of the following responses and insert it as a comment. PRETTY PRETTY PLEASE!! A. Tink go and smoke the happy Herb B. Sing it with me now- "I've got a Crush on you" C. Sigh... do I HAVE to choose a colour?? D. Rage my friend. Rage against the machine. E. Look I might be colourblind- but I can participate and delurk too!

For the Bloody Love of God

Can anyone tell me how the fuck you get Blogger to let you insert a blogpoll in the text of your post?? I have a whole bloody post ready to go and this is screwing it up! GAH... I have tried with Blogpolls, Bravenet and some of the others that Blogger lists in their addons thingy; and am THIS close to going consular on Bloggers ass... all this no javascript bullshit. I know other blogger users have done it. And I want to too!!! So if any of you could come to the help of a foul damsel in distress... she would appreciate it highly and might just blow you kisses for your trouble. Oh and for the record... I will be taking www.fidgetyknitting.com live in January 2006. I know I have said it before but this time I am doing the preparations (more on that soon!) and setting it all up. I am sure I will start bitching about MT at that stage but it has to be better than Blogger.

The one in which she makes Tigger look like he took a hit off the bong…

I don’t know how it is any different from any other post I put up but here we bounce through the random 20, or whatever I get through before I get tired and give up. But please do read cause today has PHOTOS. First: Let it be known let it be heard “All hail the Great Silvia.” I have just got the most rocking of trades. Way back in the day she was all sour about some calmer (with a souring price… sheesh people I love that yarn, but man you charge a bunch for a cotton/acrylic blend…) in the color Sour. I in my beneficent manner said hey I have some from an accursed attempt to make Soul from the Calmer Collection- you wannit?? She said yup and I somehow overcame my irrational hatred and avoidance of La Poste- and with a crap card (cause the real one was at home and if I didn’t get there that day… it might never have happened!) I sent it off and her way. She in return poked and prodded me about what I wanted for swag. It is overwhelming to think of these things people! I am going to create a whole page on this and yarn places in Paris at the new site :) In the end I decided I would rather get me some Banana Republic bottoms (cause serious people I refuse to buy a size 40 in pants at Zara just so they fit my thighs, especially when I am 34 in skirts… and Zara thinks we are all 8ft tall. I, for the record- without heels, am 5ft on a good day). So I asked if I sent em to her, would she ship them on to me. She said sure but was gonna get candy too. See how much she rocks. So I said here is a list of a few things, surprise me with none, all or whatever. Whatever got me this stash of candy (Well some of it is gone. A girl has to have herself a white trash dinner every once in a while- my favorite… well with some Ranch dip from Mama Cate to go with the chips and Reese’s Peanutbutter cups. SCORE!) Second: Photo of the Week- with out a doubt the one that made me smile walking home on Friday night.

Save the Trolls!

(photo taken on Quai de la Messagerie, and yes the trolls are in a bird cage)

Third; Let’s talk knitting. What am I knitting? I am knit fiendishly this weekend on Mama Mao’s Clapotis. Here is the status 3 balls of yarn later (apologies for the fuzzy nature, I took it as I was running out the door this morning- and I must go get one more ball this week). It is pretty and Tink likey… surprise, surprise as this started out as a knit for MOI. I will definitely be recreating this one soon! And further knitting news- I have gotten me my knitting book! After I saw the Grumperina’s socks for Grandma, I knew I had to get the book (actually I like all of grandma’s socks and may just turn into a copy cat!). So I have me some vintage socks to knit. And cause I went without a plan and without thought to the Bon Marche (La Grande Epicerie is next door) I decided to buy some purple yarn. Purple Kid Classic to make a hat, and lilac baby cashmerino to make either these or these socks… probably for Mama Mao this Christmas (which if I do I might do double padding for the sole like the padded footlets from IK- if I can figure out how to do them). I need another knitting project on a timeline like I need a hole in the head. But there it is…

Also does anyone know where one might find itsy bitsy bamboo circs? With current trends as they are- I believe I will have finished up enough holiday knitting to take the Pretty Wrappy Top Collars on the plane to finish, and maybe see if I can get help at the LYS to finish the bugger up :) That said, I believe I worked all the Valium ribbing for Pretty Wrappy Top on 2.75 and or 2.5 needles. The POINTY ones, that leave my fingers RED. They are also metal and since US security needs to feel up under my boobs to know I am wearing an underwire bra, I'd just as soon not loose my metal needles if I don’t have to. So I am on a mission to save the fingers and the needles and find me some itsy bitsy needles. If you have any suggestions, please send them forward! Last but not least… I introduce you to the amazing wonders that are Cheesy Bread.

Do you hear sleigh bells jingling???

I do. And I have even sung the “it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas” song skipping along the sidewalk. It is official I am a dufus. In my defense- I am pretty sure the snow caused it all. Yeah that is it; it’s the snow’s fault. That’s my story and I am sticking to it. Over the weekend Paris got its first sprinkling of snow! See the tiny reflective dots, they are snow. Yes it is too snowing, and I am in my pajamas as it was “early” in the morning. I laid there on the futon looking out my window clapping my hand saying “PRETTY! PRETTY!” and when I overcame my weekend lie-in inertia- I was going holy FUCK there are icicles hanging off that witches tit- cause when I opened up the window, it was cold. Bitterass cold. But the best part was that some of it even stuck for all of about 15 minutes, and I cranked up my heater and sat there knitting on the Clapotis (I have become somewhat obsessional about this project- must.get.to.next.dropped.stitch…) It was nice and prompted me after my Saturday morning errands to go to La Grande Epicerie, where I bought exorbitantly priced Swiss Miss Hot Cocoa mix for next time snow happens. I also had a first. I went to the Thanksgiving Store here in Paris. Friends were having a Thanksgiving dinner on Sunday so I was helping. I have avoided these places cause really they are just RIDICULOUS. Serious… if I had my camera I would have taken a picture cause they tried to charge 6.5€ for a box of Graham Crackers that were “just past the best by date” 9.5€ for the still ok dated ones. WHAT THE FUCK??? I joined the ranks of the crazy people as I bought a 50cent bag of Mike and Ike’s, only I paid 1.5€… I am weak for the candy people! But no way in hell I am paying 8€ for a box of Stove Top Stuffing. And in the start of the holiday season I even saw me the start of Christmas decorations. Thank yee gods that the French wait to at least the end of November. If the Christmas Carols had started in October I’d be going ballistic. I also found myself responding, no I will not go shopping for anything here in France as I am going to go HOGCRAZY and get EVERYTHING when I am in the US. Bwahahahahaha. Those boots I was, will be half what they cost here! Those pants that I need to wear to work- they will be hemmed for free. I will have free old/new stuff (it is mine and in the storage unit but I haven’t seen it for 3 years- so I baptize it as new). And then there will be the day after Christmas sales. I am not usually up for them but the fact that I will get value and plan on going materialistically insane… well, sing with me. It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Time to get an advent calendar and count down until I leave in 23 days.

Glou Glou

As the French would say... Me I say Gobble Gobble. Happy Thanksgiving to each and all who celebrate today (everyday should have its thanksgiving though in my opinon) Make sure to take the time to think of a few things to be thankful for and if you are thankful for people to tell em. Me... I am in France, for which I am on and off thankful for (depending on whether or not I have to deal with French bureaucrats or am eating wine and cheese); I am at work- which irony of ironies I am thankful for (again as long as I dont have to talk to those HR people again for a while) I will have Thanksgiving dinner with Yank friends on Sunday; I am thankful for a scruffy Italian who puts up with my hacking of the language and with whom I am having dinner tonight at my all time favorite Parisian restaurant; I have knitting lined up and I am definitely thankful for that as it does help to ensure my one last thread of santity doesn't get too frayed. I am also thankful for the wonderful friends who have stood by me and hit me upside the head when needed. Enjoy!!

World "Events" from a Frazzled Foreign Correspondent

Last week was a death march, I quite seriously was not sure I would survive. No joking here either boys and girls. Occasional thoughts of running down blvd St. Germain naked with the ball and chain to jump off Pont Neuf nekkid occured. Been a while since I have been at that point on the mentality scale… I restrained myself but exhaustion, it was holistic and complete. I think the positive outcome of my convalescence might have had to do with the well established healing powers of Cheesy Bread. Just a guess... Anyways I crashed my ass out the whole weekend, except for the essential errands I ran- MUST GET CHEESY BREAD. And I am thankful for it now cause crashed out on a sofa, Tink can knit. Now onto your news alerts… Code Red Alert to all knitters in Seattle/PAC Northwest: If any one reads this blather from that part of the world and are interested in meeting up, a very odd convergence zone has settled above me and it looks like I will be back in my favorite/home US town for the Christmas holidays. I will be doing TONS of stuff, but a yarn store crawl is already on the list (Weaving Works as my all time favorite will be the first stop, there may or may not be others considering the damage I do). And I will be prepared! Prepared knowing that I will hit serious overwhelm with a side dish of indecision. So feel free to email if you want to join or say hello- I don’t bite… unless you ask me to, Promise. As I heard no Ribbon Twist wisdom I have blocked 2 sleeves via my outlined method. And tonight a front is going on the floor (don’t worry Helen… I vacuumed :) I am really gonna try and get this one done soon. Once the back is blocked I can seam up the shoulders, knit up the collar, and then play the set in sleeves game before mattress stitching us all to a finished sweater. Illicit knitting has taken place… and since I can’t get my act together to make a Clapotis post here are the essential talking points… I started a Clapotis in Brown RYC Cashsoft many moons ago, before my London trip. I knit one ball plus and realised that I hadn’t been closing the yarn overs and I had all these holes… I was a bit concerned about this and what it would do to dropped stitches. So in a whopping brainer of an idea, I decided to go across the whole of what I had knit and drop the stitches to see what it looked like. It mostly looked ok. Only now with all the dropped stitches (some not the right ones) I needed to rippit! So I ripped it all back, I started again after asking some sage counsel and then I promptly ignored the Clapotis on the needles. I ignored it all the way to the Loire (about a month). As I was the designated driver, I didn’t get much knitting time on the holiday weekend. But I did bring it out at fire time (when I snapped at my friend, a friend who has been a happy recipient of my knitting I might add- though she calls the basic cables hat her Penis Hat, and that alone should get me the Google searches. Anyways she was saying "wasn’t I all Gran…" you wanna say that to the lady that is driving you round Paris and L’Etoile?? THAT is what I thought!), and then when I got back to town and rode a metro ligne that didn’t make me nauseuous due to what I call the cattle car effect, I knit on it. This past weekend I finished the first ball and yesterday I got to go home early and knit on it all night getting to the point where I dropped the first two sets of stitches. And it was at that stage I decided… since Mama Mao was part of the convergence pattern enabling a US shopping trip and Mama Mao likes brown, Mama Mao gets a Clapotis for Christmas. This is my knitting for the next month people. I will seam up Helen’s Sweater. I will knit this Clapotis, and if all goes crazy and there is a moment to spare, I will try to force myself to undertake valium ribbing knitting of the collar for Pretty Wrappy Top. Yeah the relic in the UFO pile… Consider yourself informed

TBM

I would like to make it clear that I have absolutely no restraint (especially not now that I know I will have a slight pay increase coming my way). I also have no good sense. And most importantly I have no space. These are all important points that are lost or illustrated in the following story. While I was on an “in town vacation,” weekend, the TBM took a hold of me and gave me one hell of a shake down. I was weak. I was worse actually. I was weak, irresponsible, without a plan and indecisive. Just the combo needed when facing yarn and home furnishing sales. I should make lists and send someone else to do my shopping. Really I should. Then I wouldn’t be thinking to myself. “I better find me a Chinese roommate to justify this 10 portion rice cooker I brought home.” And that is before we get to the yarn. What is it… put something on sale and that one Sephardic Jewish gene my mother has, that I fear she passed on to me, goes into HIGH ACTION!! And that “I normally don’t have any interest in stashing yarn” instinct evaporates. The sad part is that I staked out the TBM last week. I knew which yarns they had on sale, at what price, and what I was interested in. I tried to put a bit of thought into it all. I knew there was Anny Blatt Super Angora, Bouton D’Or Ksar, Debbie Bliss Baby Cashmerino, Rowan’s Felted Tweed, and of course Kid Silk Crack ALL ON SALE. I didn’t make a budget, but I did have a few ideas and basic parameters. Get enough Kid Silk Crack to top off what you have at the flat to make yourself Paisely from Rowan's "A Seasons Tale." Get thee the camel you can't stop petting. Don’t forget to get a sack of the Baby Cashmerino- not for Babies but for you. And get Angora to make a special person a scarf. ACTION PLAN. I got to the Bon Marché with a plan. I abandoned it as soon as I entered the store. I can't begin to describe the type overwhelm that waves over me when I enter there during the TBM. Think the Bermuda Triangle, but with yarn instead of water. The TBM really are better than the sales and they are what knitters really wait for, at least here in Paris. I normally would not go bezerk over the TBM as I either had a limited budget, I had fewer ideas or I was focused. But really my life it is that ADD joke. How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? Wanna ride bikes??? I have knitters ADD. I have been knitting and I have been unable to be faithful. Granted both projects were for Helen but still… I switch from one to the other faster than Tarzan on a mood swing elevator. I am paying no attention to finishing out the rest of the smaller projects on my platter, and everything is in disarray. Given the yarn I ordered at the TBM and yarn I will be buying off a very lovely Londoner… I best get the disarray taken care of, otherwise me and my 190 sq ft… we are going to be tripping over yarn, jeans that stand on their own, dishes, and books. Every 5 seconds. I’ll admit I haven’t got lots of photos to show for my haul, and I only spent a bit over 100 euros so... it isn’t THAT much in light of damage some knitters can wreak. But the yarn stash, it must now be organized. It will no longer fit into one Bon Marché bag. We are light on pictures because not all of my yarn was available, so I have a good chunk on order. But here is the break down. I stayed somewhat fidele to my original plan, but there is a bit of regret at the end… I bought Super Angora to make into a gift scarf like the one I made myself with last years TBM Angora. I wanted to get another color but I wasn’t up to another wait and order deal. I think the other color would have been more the receipient's style, but this one should go with her colouring. If I don’t like it in a week or two (as I should wait to get started cause, there are other things on the list people!!) they may have the other colour back in by then. I got my three balls of Liquer Kid Silk Crack on order. I now have enough yarn (once I exchange the colours- Marie is GREAT like that) to make Paisely. And that might be the next me sweater once all the finishing is finished. We’ll see. But one day I will be wearing that sweater. Anyways after that I bought the Phildar Tendences Spring 2005. No not just yarn- I got patterns too. I saw the new Collections Hiver and Tendences Hiver; nothing to cry home about in my opinion. Those who want one can let me know and I can trade but for now it doesn’t join this burgeoning knitter's library. Why did I get the Tendance Spring, when I wasn’t blazing a path down to my Phildar during spring? Well cause of my next purchase. I got a pack of B-Limey Debbie Bliss Baby Cashmerino. I haven’t decided if it will stay this colour (it is on order) or what it will become. I just know I love that yarn. My b-limey socks have been on my feet practically nonstop and I am in love. I may use it to make a project from Phildar Tendances Printemps. We’ll see... not like I dont have other things to finish up first or anything. It is at this point that I broke rank. I have liked Salina since I first saw Vintage Style. As a matter of fact she is one of the few sweaters I would see making in that book for me. I fully admit: I have no ability to determine what patterns will and won't look good on me before trying them on. So most knitting is done via blind faith. But I figured Salina might look good on me. And I plan on asking a Goddess or two their opinion on if I should make any adjustments or not. Even better the yarn was dirt cheap, 41 Euros cheap. How could I pass that up?? Sure it wasn’t on my list but for that price I got the yarn and pattern (not the pattern book but the pattern- which when you don't want the pattern book... ROCKS). Come on... How many times can you make a Rowan sweater for under 45 Euros?? NOT BAD choice in my opinion. When I will start this one your guess is as good as mine. But look for an upcoming post on this sweater. Wherein I will ask for the assistance of people who are allowed to dress themselves. And my last bit. It isn’t a purchase but a regret. I really, really, really wanted to get me enough Ksar to make a sweater. I have a ball here in the colourway Crepescule and I am in LOVE with the colour and it is soft with a lovely halo. This yarn speaks to me. And it was 6.8 euros a ball. But it couldn’t quite tell me what it wanted to be. At first I thought I would substitute the yarn for Freida, but it was not the siren call I anticipated. Plus I figured in the darker purple of the color the cables might get lost. I debated about making Debbie Bliss’ bolero from Simply Soft, but the magnet was not exerting enough gravitational force and I didn’t feel like adjusting numbers. I am sure I would have found a pattern for it but I already have enough yarn for 4 projects that need to be knit up and that isn’t including anything to finish and the smaller projects. And I have already done enough damage to my pocketbook. While I know I made the right decision (they didn’t have the colourway in anyways) I still wish I could have brought the yarn home. I hope that either the next TBM or next year's winter TBM they put it back on sale. Cause then… I will be buying it!

Help, Help, Help...

Imagine that being said in a meek voice with a yelp sound to it and you can hear me loud and clear. It is official I am fully snowed under. But that will not stop me. No... only death (who is SO luriking around the corner) will get me. BWAHAHAHAHAHA So I have a quickie post about Helen's lovely sweater knit in Ribbon Twist with BIG HONKING 12mm needles that is all knit up (except for the collar). In the hope of doing a complete post on the sweater and getting it to Helen... I am asking for advice in advance. We all know I am not big on the finishing bit so I looked at a certain site that usually has all sorts of details about that stuff. I creamed a few (in particular seaming with a finer yarn- now to find me one of those, hehe) but... not the one I am immediately looking for. This is my first time knitting Ribbon Twist (a yarn that is composed of unspun roving (at least I think that is the fiber term...) with a space-dyed ribbon swirling it with a thread holding it all together) and the ends be a curling. Thus the concept of blocking the pieces comes to mind. Previously when I knit a Lopi sweater (the closest to this kind of guage Tink has ever gotten) it was blocked using a professional upright steamer at the LYS... needles to say- that ain't happening this time. So I am coming to you, yee of brilliance and founts of knowledge, and any Rowanettes out there- Help a girl out!! How would you go about blocking Helen's Sweater? Please note the following two points. One, my iron does not do steam very well. The water well plug part was broken (before I moved in, the iron came with the flat). And two- I am dealing with limited space, and limited supply of towels, so this is going to be a piece meal approach. In the interest of Full Disclosure: Blocking is being done on Saturday and Sunday. My current guess of what to do would be to pin the sucker out to the dimensions I want. Stick a towel (a mid level towel- not a shower nor dish towel in between them for thickness) in the shower, blast it with HOT water. Burn hands wringing towel out, say FUCK a lot (it blesses the sweater). Place said towel on top of pinned out piece. Let it meld a bit, and then iron the towel paying SPECIAL attention to not felt the bugger but ensure that I do flatten out the edges.

Monday

Doesn't that title just GRAB your attention?? I knew it did. And now that I have your undivided attetnion before you clik the little red X box in you right hand corner lookie HERE. I want to be cool. I have had my little Bravenet map over there in the corner, but Kerstin, Kay, Rachel and all the other very cool kids have this new gadget. So I went and got me one too… go on sign it, make me feel loved. And if you want to know all the low down…Kay has it all set out for you, so no excuses! http://www.frappr.com/fidgetyknitting After a holiday (Armistice Day) weekend vacation through the Loire, one does not remember to put the bright crayons back into the coloring box for Monday morning. I have about 4 posts in the line up that I hope will be up by the next time I make such an interesting headline for my post and call it Monday Again (Helen’s Sweater, Clapotis, the Loire weekend where I thought of Norma as I drove through Rambouillet, and one other that I can’t remember but know I should write- WAIT… Oh, Oh I remember the TBM and a post where I try to see if I can get some feedback about a sweater). DOG I hope once I transition jobs that life will slow down just a little bit. So that the one braincell won’t say to the other last braincell “Hey each man for himself- I think my chances look better making a run for the ear canal and taking a leap of faith. Flee for it man, she ain’t that tall!” At least that is what they say to each other when the list of 25 items to do from last Thursday gets another 5 added to it on Monday and I leave the post at the end of Tuesday. And my first day in the new post is started with a Network (i.e. big deal, and all day deal) meeting at 9am (an hour in which Tink very often utters in the out-loud voice FUCK). Tink’s response is to see stars spinning round the head alla Daffy Duck, start twitching at 6:30 pm on Monday, say fuck it and go see the movie Manderlay. And this is what happens when you put up the political posts- static ;) Well for those interested in the political stuff there are two recent happenings. First, you can find a very well said and timed article in NYT that gives a bit of the feelings and the problems in the approach of French citizenship. And Chirac has gone and extended the curfew law by 3 months, I guess that is better than Sarkozy threatening to deport the arrestees, who again are mostly French citizens, if you are born here you are French. Child of immigrants label is an irrelevant, so stop saying it on national television. Cause you are causing me to have tourettes where I sputter things like “Tu me fait chier!” while making dinner.

Lets Get Physical… I Mean Political

*EDITED- I should have already said this but I posted late last night. I stand by my statements and I stand by the right of any and every reader to comment. But there are ground rules I as Benevolent Dictator over here have established. We can agree and disagree respectfully. I like the exchange of dialogue, but it is MY blog so I will decide what is and isn't respectful. Dont like it... move along, there will be a post about a sweater tomorrow. FURTHERMORE I have decided that I have the huevos to say my opinion, and thus you should too. I dont like hypocrisy. So if you want to say something for this post, I am only going to leave comments with Blogger IDs or names and email or website links incorporated in the text. This post only has one comment at this stage. And in an action I am sure will inflame the rioters, after much thought and writing my response... I am going to delete the comment. If the person who posted it wants to email me their identity, it (in original form) and my response to it will go back up.* OK I don’t do this very often… I haven’t sung Olivia Newton John for years nor have I been political on this blog. As much as this blog is a knit and rant blog … I try to keep politics out of it. Not because I don’t have an opinion or am afraid to say it. God knows I shout from more than one roof top, but I deal with the stuff on a daily basis. I am a political scientist, and these topics can be explosively divisive. But I figure I have a mostly Anglophone following (if I have any following) and talking about the current situation in Paris isn’t going to divide the world like Bush would. Moreover, I am trying to give this blog a Parisian side (or at least I am in the redesign, context conceptualisation and new blog platform I am working on :) so here goes… Keep in mind: Yes I do bleed red and here in France I fall into the Socialist Party. However I am respectful of all, put blame on all and am intentionally not putting a right v. left spin on things (for many a reason including that left and right in France are not similar to left and right in the US/UK etc). And I am trying to say them as clearly as possible. In as many words as I can :) But these words are mine and only mine. To those who are wondering Parisians safety, as evidenced by the call on Sunday at god o’clock from Mama Mao screeching about explosions and fires and wondering if my windows had burst in the blasts (reminiscent of her freak out about the “fall of government” in Norway- like the Weegies were rioting outside my door?? These are the people who plan their strikes a year in advance… I am not in the Democratic Republic of Congo MOTHER!!)… Things in town have been fine. While in last night there were incidents within the boundaries of Paris (by République and Nation for the most part), most of what you see on television is going on in the Banlieu. Currently as most of your footage shows… things are at a turning point, and out of control. The violence is spreading (thus incidents are happening in most major French cities) and it is increasing, with the youth mobilising and organising. Meaning that things could shortly either be crushed (with further violence and sectarianism in the society) or turn into a movement as the student riots of the late 60s did. Politically this is a smoke out. The opposition parties (primarily the Socialist) are mainly represented at the local level, and due to how the French government is organised, restricted in how they can respond. On almost all of the TV appearances by the Socialist mayors etc, they have decried the central government's “response.” They trying to do their best- but they don’t control the police. De Villepin and Sarkozy are trying to get the upper hand for the upcoming presidential election (these boys have been pissing in corners trying to mark their territory for the past 3 years, why would it be any different now), each flaming the fires in their own special way (though Sarkozy’s tactics, it must be said, are outright hostile and in my opinion racist, then again for the Frenchy speakers- Sarkozy me fait chier...). Neither is doing what it takes to calm things down nor resolve the underlying issues (this is politics people you don’t deal with the foundations- you deal with the superficial; if you want to survive electorally). Chirac has been sitting in his tower; because he doesn’t know what to do… he is domestically impotent. Not even Viagra sent by Bob Dole is going to help him get it up at this stage. His focus has been trying to get some of his political credibility back by forcing issues at the international level with trade negotiations and cow-towing to French Agro Business (not the individual French Farmer- nor towards helping the developing world, I can point anyone who wants to argue with me to the statistics… I told you I deal with this shit daily) So what exactly is the deal and what is going on here?? Well the current issues in French society aren’t all that different from what happens in any immigrant nation (like it or not France is an “immigrant” nation of sorts). There is the timeline of issues and then there are the root/foundation issues (some are being slightly simplified and condensed so as to make this a post that maybe SOMEONE will read :) Before going any further though, I do not want to lead anyone to believe that I find the violence going on to be acceptable. I do however find it understandable and explainable. More importantly I do think it is resolvable, but I am not holding my breath. Unfortunately I do believe it will get worse before it gets better, and I mean significantly worse, if things are to get better- at the foundations. The timeline of the past 2 weeks starts with a tragic situation where mistakes were made on all sides, leading to the death of two teenagers (and injury of a third). That escalated with the accompanying anger that the deaths provoked over already tense relations (foundations issues). There were slight openings at this stage for dialogue and quelling of the issue, but politicos refused to meet when people were protesting with minor violence at night (I call throwing a rock or starting a fire in the garbage can minor- in the US they would have had guns from the get go... flame away). The police responded to the protests over these deaths with tear gas. As someone who has been tear gassed (I worked the WTO Seattle Ministerial and was trying to leave the building) I can politely say, it is not fucking pleasant. In this case it was intentionally throwing vodka at the fire and saying "Oooohhh look at the fiery red colors." The gassing happened during Ramadan prayer in a Mosque and trapped the women in their prayer room. This is one of the primary issues, that I believe, allowed the violence to start popping up in other communities. No longer just an immigrant/citizen issue of the us V. the police- but them attacking our religious sanctuary. Think of the situation at this stage like a fire, the wind takes a flame and lights up the path that the wind blows. This is an issue MANY communities have in common and can rally solidarity around, particularly as the politicos (especially those at high levels- Chirac, himself, made his FIRST comment on the issues only last night) did not denounce this action like the towns muezzenine (sp?) making the call to prayer. And in France solidarity is a well and alive concept (I am sad to say it is not in the US- again flame away). It means something and is applied here. There were denials and acceptances that this gassing happened via the hands of the Police, but at the same time Sarkozy (who is an elitist populist and has VERY scary immigration ideas) started saying inflammatory things. Here is where most people say the catalyst explosion took place. He was shut out for 2 days because it was that bad. The families of the killed teens refused to speak with him de Villepin had to get involved. Politically this was bad for Sarkozy, he is supposed to control the "interior"… but for some odd reason he broke them down and was let back in. I cant explain or understand that one. In my opinion that aggravated an already pissy group of the citizenry and told them to notch it up a bit to get attention, which is what these violent actions are about. What he said in translation really doesn’t sound nearly as bad as it is. The connotations and societal inflectations are simply not translatable. What he called them wasn’t just thugs… it was worse and had racist inflections. Furthermore I am sure he was well aware that these kinds of comments would provoke the violence and unrest. They were not aimed at calming the protesting youth or reestablishing order… they were aimed at the elites and gaining their approval. Sarkozy was the former Mayor of Neuilly after all (a VERY rich suburb in the affluent "Banlieu," and ironically- not too far from where I work). Slowly but surely every night since then the cauldron continues to bubble, and the violence continues to expand. The governments “responses” do nothing to stop this, though thankfully they have not provoked another catalyst explosion. But buildup is still growth. Over the past few days the numbers of vehicles set afire has increased exponentially, a lab for making bombs has been found and the first injuries have started to be tallied up. None of this was unpredictable; most French sociologists would tell you it was a matter of when not if. Why? Foundation issues. If there is one thing I do as a political scientist it is preach about the foundational issues. Process means more than product! The seeds of what you see on the television today were sown many moons ago. And the responses bandied about are only superficial. Pointing fingers will get us nowhere as both sides of the divide (Socialist and “Gaullist/UMP”) have been involved. Something that might not be immediately apparent from the coverage is that most of those kids on the streets taking part in the protests and violence, they are not immigrants. They are first and often second generation French kids. Despite the French immigration proverb “once in France everyone is French,” and this magical wand that is supposed to be waved over each and every French citizen; these are citizens who have been relegated to the outskirts of society. And rightly so feel like they are considered second class; their parents are the cleaning people who throw away my water bottles, and want something better for their children (and as a child of immigrants… I feel this point). But these kids, they were born here, they go to school here, they take the same damn bloody Bac as the “French” kids do and they should have every right that anyone else does. But reality stands that they don’t, and in the Banlieu it is smacked in their face on a daily basis. France is a country that doesn’t integrate their own all the time. While it is true that French youth in general do not have an easy way to transition into adult life in France (employment rates for under 26 are appalling and there were stagaire strikes earlier in October because of the way the French employment systems treats “youths”) these are the kids that can’t find a way out. And the kids you see (I do mean kids as they are arresting 13 year olds) are kids that DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY. They fully comprehend the realities facing them, but they don’t understand why they are less French. And no one politically is giving them a good reason, which is why I can’t bring myself to call them thugs. They are misguided, and desperate; which does not make their actions acceptable but they aren’t responsible for their societal exclusion either. I have compassion for them- Flame me while I look for my flame retardant vest. It is interesting I find to watch the news coverage nightly. I have made a point of being home to do so actually. You hear such alternating stories. The “French” working class that live in the Banlieu say they don’t feel the hostilities; they don’t see the violence in the same way as what they see on the television. They are friends with their neighbors. In short this outburst doesn’t affect them, though it disturbs them. Yet when the youth start talking… another story appears. The desperation and trodden nature rear their heads. They show you their national ID cards in this dire need to prove to you that they ARE French. In most of the Banlieu and where the unrest is happening- the unemployment rates are astronomical. And if there is one thing I can tell you, it is that unemployment is the root of many problems (be it the downfall of pension systems or the unrest in a society- unemployment is a VERY bad thing). For history and explanation of my Franglais-ing, the Banlieu came about after WWII. They initially were ghettos and shanty towns, but their subsequent conceptualisation has been as working class suburbs. In the 1950s the government blew through them and started creating safe and secure housing developments- think project housing. In the mid 60s there were major waves of repatriation- in particular from Maghrebian countries (Tunisia, Morocco, Algeria etc). So those Banlieu project housing blocks and towers grew exponentially. In hindsight we know integration into society of this nature is like charging the date on a ticking time bomb and setting it under ground as a landmine to blow at the least tremble on the hair line trigger pull. In the 70s (some in the early 80s) the issue was complicated as waves of immigrants came from former Francophone colonies (mostly Africa). These two waves of immigration sowed the seeds of what you see today. In the Banlieu today you see old decrepit buildings slabs, what one would basically call squats. And people still live there, hell sometimes they are still social housing locations. You see slightly newer towers of apartment housing where little communities have arisen around a central notion, the relation to the homeland. They may be French, but they are Moroccan communities of French people (should that make sense in the way I wrote it). To integrate people into a society you CANNOT just spout a proverb and say that takes care of everything. Especially when the afflent french are so infamous for that look down their upturned nose. It is evident to me that this approach is what has gotten France where it is today. You have to give people a true chance, that is a basic right of citizenry. On the immigration level you need to understand how to help those coming in adjust. France was good at this with neither the repatriations of the 60s, nor the recent repatriations of from just last year out of the Côte Ivoire. Even these "white" repatriated families are less French. For true immigrants, you need to put them in housing that is surrounded by locals- it acclimatises both groups. Fact stands you make one tall building and you stick all the Senegalese in it… and they are going to stay Senegalese and they are going to be French too. I understand this cause it was my family life in the US. Inside the house was Spanish, off the boat from Spain Spanish. Outside was American. But only when others didnt know about the Spanish house (mostly because raised in a border state speaking Spanish earned me the nickname Lily as in Lily White Mexican...). But most importantly you need to provide equality of chance to these French citizens, and particularly a way to work and make a living. These kids need to know what it means to be an adult, and under the current system that is not possible. So when they face the dark shaft- they rebel. And when all is going to hell, they don’t feel the same need to not go with that counter flow. That flow that taps built up rage and takes it to the levels of frenzy where rationality cannot exist. At that age the reasoning isn’t such the strong point (go on think of the shit stories you threw at your parents, or your teens might be throwing at you). It goes like this “if they shit on me I am going to shit on them” and it translates into the burning of affluent cars (it ain't the Twingo they are targeting boys and girls). Now those are the root points, to resolve where things stand now and the fires that will burn tonight… that is more difficult. The politicos have come out with the nasty talk. Once you have politically committed to this harsh law and order crack down like in the Watts riots of LA, you further aggravate the social fault lines. And society is no more prepared for the next earthquake than it was for this one (smaller one or two day incidents without the initial deaths involved in this case happen here in France every couple of years… they just don’t capture the media's attention.) This is exactly the French situation. And as the politicians refuse to sit down and dialogue with the locals… doesn’t look like it will get better. On the otherside, these youth are not as stupid as the politicos would like to believe. They know the strength of solidarity and are organising (even if it is organising in the production of crude bottle bombs). In my eyes it is a matter of time to see who can hold their breathe longer. Who can outlast the other, or who can crush the other in simple terms. I don’t discount that the raging youth could bring down the politicos, nor the possibility that the politicos will crush the soul of the Republican nature and immigrant hope in “restoring the rule of law and order in every quartier.” Important to note is that Republican here is not a US party, but a form of government and social status in France which was brought about by revolutionary ideals- where by the way… Thomas Jefferson, the person that switched the party name and concept, got the idea. See Republicans, not so original, but great at fucking up the original concept :) Told you I bled red...) I cant say much more… I can answer anyone’s questions. I can say my opinon, this shit isn’t going to go away. But if they figure out how to equalise some of the sometimes 46% unemployment rate in this subsect of society, it might just be one of the fatal stabs to this inflammation. The current approach (the force, force and more force- to show the might of the law) may blow out the flames; but the embers are still going to be left piping hot and ready to burst into flames again. The memories being created now are just as important as the bullets being shot. Sure at core the resolution it is a chicken and egg issue, which comes first them stopping the violence or us stopping. This is no different at the mechanics level than in any other conflictual pattern (such as in Israel-Palestine) just the magnitude varies. It will need to be a negotiated end with both sides at the table and both sides... pulling back- not one trumping the other (as you see worldwide in conflict negotiations). Sure it aint fun and there are medium term prices, but the kill a fly with a sledge hammer routine doesn't seem to really bring anyone anymore security (security- a mental construction if I ever saw one. You are as safe as you choose to believe you are!) Being derisive and calling people splodeys or otherwise... negates the point. And to me makes you look like the smacked ass. Teaching your kids to play nice at the sandbox is the real but of this issue. But that is just my take. Flame Away... I have my fire extinguisher ready at hand and I am not wearing my footsie pyjamas to bed tonight.

Design Foray

Let’s set it straight from the get go. I am fashion incompetent. I lost my license to dress myself many moons ago. I am accessory impaired, I do not do trendy at all, and when it comes to knitting... I trust those who know what they are doing (a sorority/fraternity of which I am not a member just a follower). That said I am surprising myself with this post. After the TBM spree (upcoming post) I went over to Zara to see if there was anything worthwhile. Part of the regeneration weekend included irresponsible retail therapy. I got a partially angora basic turtleneck in Violette to make up for the Ksar I was mourning. I might go back for a wraparound white broadcloth top. But the most important find was a “jacket:” This jacket was ridiculously priced (like much of the Zara Woman line can be) but I liked the colour enough to be enticed to try it on. Once I tried it on I knew I would be willing to wait in line to try it on in the fitting room so I could take pictures. Pictures cause this time… I want to copy it and I believe I can. And I might just have sufficient determination to do so. God only knows why. I don’t know all the points like whether I want to make it one colour or two or tweed or... or, textured or stockinette, and the rest of those kinds of questions. Let alone the HOWS of how to do it. I just know that I have to figure out how to make me one. And I want to figure it out quick. The idea is to make it in time to wear in the Spring. Down the road to designing this thing I go. My problem… I am not sure where exactly to start. So I am putting up the pictures and asking anyone who has better ideas on where to start to chime in. My current starting point involved a bottle of wine and the ever so Brilliant and Chic Bonne Marie's Cut Away Cardigan... And then things get hazy. Picture 1 Picture 2

Roundabout Halloween

I have taken back the reins. No more witching and bitching. No more talk about work. No more restraint or responsibility either. Right now I am fairing the pont. What’s that look for? Do I hear a “What you talkin' bout Willis??” I guess I should put a tattoo on my forehead as warning. Professional Franglaiser: Don’t try this it at home kids. For those not fluent in Franglais, Franglais may take one of three forms. The first is where you mix the languages together, cognizantly or not... randomly throw a French word (not synonym) into your English sentence or vice versa. The second form is where you take an English word and try to make it sound like it is French or vice versa. And the third form, which I demonstrated above, is where you take an idiomatic expression of one language and shift it into the other language. So that fairing the pont, what the fuck was that all about?? Well here in France we have religious holidays, even though in theory the country is not religious. Go figure. And the 1st of November is one of those. Halloween started as All Hallows Eve, and the next day was All Saints. You know devils and angels, heaven and hell; all that good stuff. Nowadays it is about the Americans wishing Halloween meant something abroad so they could rock a party with a state provided holiday for the hangover, and locals doing things like placing flowers on the graves of loved ones (which could or could not include Jim Morrison or Oscar Wilde at Père Lachaise). I hear you, I hear you- “BITCH what’s all that got to do with a pont?? What the hell is a pont??” Well now we start talking idiomatic phrases. First of all Babelfish will tell you that the word pont is French for bridge and "faire le pont" means to make a bridge. I would like to make clear as Bablefish is not the baby jesus of translators… I am not building a bridge. No, no- the French have this lovely phrase “faire le pont.” Faire le pont is a concept where in you “bridge” a day or two to connect a weekend with a holiday. This year Toussaint is on a Tuesday which means I could have my weekend, go to work on Monday and then show back up on Wednesday. Or I could buy myself a day of sanity and have me one long weekend. Dog knows I have needed this long weekend for a while. I have been fighting life, a cold and working like a slave to get ready for another work transition... So me, I am fairing the pont. A weekend without ANYTHING to do with work. A weekend in town. A weekend of regeneration. A weekend of catching up. A weekend of reflection. A weekend of action (rollerblading the Seine with friends). It is a 4 day weekend where I can do whatever I want, including sleep an extra hour due to that time change crap (I was raised in Arizona, the superior beings there ruled that there will be none of this time change fucking around with the body clock. So Tink still don’t get that bullshit). I knit (more on that in the next post). I thoroughly enjoyed myself. And I recuperated a fair amount of necessary sleep (I am old, when I don’t sleep- seems I become crankier than normal :) I even celebrated Halloween. Which brings me to my experience living abroad. It is odd to see things from both sides of the looking glass. I often have to restrain myself from shouting FOLLOW THE WHITE RABBIT. The people that import American things DO NOT understand Halloween candy. They have brought over some bullshit version of Reeses Peanutbutter cups (which one CANNOT find here) much over priced caramel corn abounds and there are no Smarties or Candy Corn! It is a travesty… I KNOW!!! But fact stands that Halloween is on the decline in France. The French never really got the concept. I mean they show a Halloween special of a daily show (think Jeopardy type show)… on the 1st of November. According to TF1 statistics in 2000 it was at its height (70M euros) and this year it will be lucky to hit half that. Most adults have “come to the conclusion it is just a commercial holiday.” I guess it is, but to me it was always about the kids and candy (OH MY GOD WHAT I WOULDN’T DO FOR CANDY CORN!!!). I may be disappointed I am not dressing up for a Halloween party (my top three costumes of all time- a smurf, an oompa loompa, and following a trend I have done more than once as an adult… using a child’s costume and going as a sumo wrestler in the self-inflating suit) but beyond that I am thinking as an adult, it isn’t a bad trade off. Long holiday weekend, no Halloween. As a kid, I would have to say it sucks shit. I mean NO CANDY- the horrors!! Anyways- I am eating a rationed Reeses Peanutbutter Cup I had smuggled to Berlin for me. And I am wishing all of you a Happy Halloween. Bwahahahahaha

Here a bit there bit

I am scattered right now and have to try and find the vodka under my desk so I can face my work. But damn if I can’t weave a story and some how get knitting in there! Oh yes I will, if you stay along for the ride. Currently I have no shreds of intellect left, I am editing a publication. To be exact, currently a chapter by a Nepalese "author" who should be bitchslapped by Shiva with all arms wound up, at once. I was initially entertained by the fact that in “creating tables” he applies the format “table” to his text and expects that the table MAGICALLY appears like… POUF. But that got old after the 8th table I had to construct. But it didn’t stop there. Serious boy needs to STEP AWAY FROM THE BULLET POINT NOW. Yes my friends if you are looking for me… the Nepalese have bullet pointed me to impaling myself on the dullest object on the face of the earth, repeatedly. Serious the Nepalese had 82 bullet points IN.A.ROW. Which for the record, tops the 47 numbered points the Bangladeshi thought were conclusions and the Vietnamese who needs to be introduced to the finer concepts of a paragraph... as in one sentence does not constitute a paragraph; even if you do it 12 times in a row on the same topic. MAKE THE ONE SENTENCE PARAGRAPHS STOP. Yes this is coming from me, an ardent lover of run on sentences (all bow down to the power of “stream of consciousness” writing) and in avoidance therapy over paragraphs... All this too, before we discuss the use of graphics and people who should not be allowed near a colouring book. My head is swimming, and I have to make this crap presentable as the publication will be for sale externally (and this must be done before I change posts). Oh yeah and this publication... it is 481 pages. I officially am DSM III Tourettes diagnosed. My ass is twitching and I have been caught shouting in the outside voice- DIE BULLETMAN DIE Where the fuck is my cabana boy and that margarita/bottle of tequila? I have a date with that worm! :) Another entertaining thing at work since I took the other post, you too may hold this against me. According to the admin officer for my division, because I didn’t know how to read her mind and follow up on work that not the person before me but the person before her did. That earthquake in Pakistan/Kashmir? My fault! I did not get a paper she did not ask for to her in time therefore Katrina and Wilma were sent to their destructive paths- by me. The guilt it is kind of getting to me too, because the tsunami?? Yeah seems I caused that too. My divination rod didn’t give me the right priority set or deadlines. And so you know her work that she has for me to do that takes 2 weeks (as I have to do her job and mine) didn’t get done in 3 days... go figure. Let's all swim!!!! Swim Timmy Swimmmmmmm All this begs the question of what can I do? Well I can do this thing with my thumb, I can do the splits, I can curse in 8 languages and I have a sincere aptitude for causing natural disasters. Oh yeah and since I can't beat the living shit out of these people I am editing or the admin officer... I am knitting with the big sticks instead of carrying them. See I told you people I would get to the knitting sooner or later cause I am doing it. I know you are astounded and shocked beyond words! This was once a knitblog, not just my insane ranting and ravings… like a phoenix from the ashes the knitting arises. The ever so lovely Helen wanted a sweater, and with the shit she has been going through recently, she DESERVES one. I like knitting for other people, especially generous, funny, witty, gorgeous and brilliant people like Helen. There is no one else better to have a date to dance in hell by the Margarita machine with. I promise. So after much prodding she finally took me up on my offer (you pick the pattern and get the yarn and I will turn it back around to you as a sweater- that I can make appear MAGICALLY like POUF). She went and got herself the yarn and the pattern and thank god the needles. I picked it up from her while visiting London. And promptly compressed it into the suitcase, for the trip back to France, where upon arrival I started knitting. This means I am currently putting all other projects on quasi hold (that includes getting the London and Clapotis posts up and done and attaching in photos, not to mention my well over due laundry tip and other cleaning things that ought be done) to get Beth from Rowan Ribbon Twist done and out to her. It is pretty simple and mindless knitting. It is almost all in stockinette (see Margene it is about the Zen :) It goes pretty fast, though this knitting on big needles doesn’t go as fast as I expected being that we are at a stitch and row gauge of almost 1 st per cm. Seems knitting with rollerpins isn’t exactly as easy to corral as knitting with pencils. The “stick a pointy stick in the crotch alla pit knitting” style seems to be the most efficace for those curious minds that have gone towards the gutter. I have however finished the sleeves (no visit to an island when a sleeve is done in a late night session) and am about one night away from the back being done. All this with minimal knitting time. I don’t think I will ever be a big gauge knitter for my average project. That said… this isn’t too bad :) I could see one such project every so often for myself. If Fall didn’t already have a lineup and we weren’t already staring down the rifle barrel at November I would probably make Roxie. I really liked Jen’s. But after Beth is done the next state of affairs deal is to get the rest of the goods “finished up”. “FOs” like Fern, Pretty Wrappy Top (I have the yarn now, collar here I come :), a pair of Natalya gauntlets I started last year, “Kitchener” closed some socks, wrap up a scarf, and… and… and we’ll talk once I have gotten there.

Shoulda Coulda Woulda

I should be writing up my update backlog blogs. I could be starting a sweater for the very deserving Helen with rolling pins for needles. Actually I would be dancing in the streets, but I am a nut case. Instead I have been in upheaval. AGAIN PEOPLE. Really what would this little corner of the internets be without my insane ramblings about international life or a dozen of my neuroses? For the record, this is no knitting blog- nope not anymore. In case you weren’t aware, this ride has been hijacked! And so has my brain; I am blaming the aliens. What this time? My old boss wanted me to have a permanent post. Seeing Tink on contract countdown meltdown does that to people. So he went to the stump for me. And while I went through the interview, I have a feeling that he laid on the charm. I was warmed up shit sundae in that interview and positive I TERRIFIED the Japanese official. He is oh so very reserved Japanese and me I am gregarious. Anyways, I am a bad judge of these things. I was just was offered a permanent contract. My response, was so incoherent as to make George Bush look like a Roman Orator. Why was I not immediately jumping up and down saying YES, YES, YES like Meg Ryan doing her orgasm impression? With me life is rarely ever that simple and when it is… I am scared of it. I can’t make logic of it, because there is none to be made. But there was inner turmoil for sure. Why??? This job gives me a 25 percent increase in take home, provides other extras like “home leave” and is GUARANTEED for at least 13 months, but in theory 24 months. What is there to say beyond that? Where be the turmoil? HAHAHA this is me… The turmoil comes from my principles. God damn principles fucking around with my inner peace. In simple terms: I work for a LOVELY boss (and I am loyal to people), I have a decent title, I get a chance to do some substantive work and I would have traveled for work- to China! That said the topic is less interesting and tensions within the team… they make me want to impale myself on a large dull object, regularly. Oh yeah…and the contract is only until December with no guarantees after that. Job I just got: it be permanent, a 25 percent increase in take home (which will all go to my student loans), topic is more interesting, and did I mention I don’t have to go through this shit again for 2 years? Negatives: well from what I gather (things were not clear in the interview) there will be no travel, I will be working for a timid Japanese man, and again the change and all that accompanies it. I found making decisions about this difficult. I am not used to this looking out for number one. I have gotten where I am by my merits, taking care of those around me and them in turn taking care of me. So up and leaving someone on these terms- doesn’t exactly sit well with me. But after they couldn’t or wouldn’t counter I had no other choice, I took the post. I don’t know what this is going to mean or do to me… but there you have it. Mama's got a new job and her is gonna buy some TBM yarn! After a nice lie in. And write up some of those backlogged posts :)

London

Running away to Berlin was not enough. I have been muttering about needing to get away to an island for eons and eons. Now sure one of those sun filled islands with cabana boys and people waving palm leaves sounds nice. But I haven’t won the lottery this month so a quick trip to the Island of the Mother Tongue would have to do. Lucky me too, cause Mother Nature cooperated and made it sunny and gorgeous out the whole time I was there. And in reality… it more than sufficed; it was just what the doctor ordered. I had an absolutely lovely weekend with lovely people. People I wish I could have spent more time with and remembered to take pictures of, but it was 3 days of scrambling around. The following is a short run down of what I managed to do in the three days and a "photo commentary" on Ally Pally. Friday was a funny day. On Thursday I had the interview for the post I recently accepted. After being back out at my old building during my lunch on Thursday I turned it back around the next day. It felt odd when I left and it felt odd when I was back. There I was stuck in a training in my old building, a useless training- the best and usual kind non?? The best part, besides lunch with a dear colleague, was high tailing my ass out of there to catch a plane to London. Where the lovely people were waiting for me. I can't begin to describe how nice it is to stay at a proper home. Sure I have my flat, and I am trying to make it mine but it won't be a home in the same way. It won't be a home that has knitting magazines by the bedside for me to look through :) On Saturday I was sent scrambling round and round and round. I got my value out of that day travel card that is for sure! I had a friend’s graduation from Cambridge. After which we met up with Helen to do some irresponsible shopping (FCUK, go ahead rearrange the letters...) drinking on an empty stomach (a recurring theme for the weekend- one in which my Irish Alcoholic genetics do NOT help) and a trade of yarn 5helen gets a sweater). Then on to Tom's Vodka Jellies book signing/press party. All V. Bridget Jones. V. Bridget Jones to the point of including me rolling out of a car with motion sickness and “watering a plant” after hiding in the footwell of the 2 seater of my friend and her boyfriend to get a ride home. Amateur EAT before you DRINK!! On Sunday after a lovely and lounging morning I headed out to Ally Pally. Ally Pally is the first “fibre fest” I have been to. And really when Polly said it would be overwhelming I had no clue. I was ASTOUNDED by all that I saw. I thought it would be slower on Sunday. I was wrong, not the waves of retirees as predicted, but I do still believe I lowered the collective age. I first did a tour of the halls. In the first hall there are people who walk and knit with Big Sticks. I saw a VERY frightening “fashion show” complete with dancing models- who need to stop the side to side hip bouncing. And this... it is for Kristine- Who needs French lingerie?? In the second hall I saw all the artist knitting exhibits (that last one... me and my pure mind will leave you gutter waders to caption it). And in the last room I went through the yarn stalls. Some with too much acrylic, others with piles of bags of yarn for people to wade through and some of the very scary booths- Amelia has a photo of the bucktooth hair clip dolls place. She forgot to note that the lady running that booth. DRESSED LIKE HOLLY FREAKING HOBBY. People need help… (Debbie Bliss’ booth the place where I finally crashed down for the last hour, cause it was enough and the nice people were there). I hit all the “good” booths (I am too tired to search up all the links and I am not putting photos. Polly and others took better and me I was in overwhelm. Tink is all about the quirky Ally Pally photo parade)- Habu, Alchemy, Get Knitted, Rowan/Jaeger, Touch Me, Alchemy, Hipknits, Kaalund and Debbie Bliss. I saw the local specialty booths. I saw the specialty yarn booths (just say NO to that creation made of 15 novelty yarns). But by the end of Sunday and after the rounds… there wasn’t much left and there weren’t many deals to be had either. Ally Pally is not like those US fibre fests I hear of people getting insane deals at. So as lame as it sounds… I touched a lot of yarns I had only ever heard of by name and I returned with enough Lorna’s Laces in the Tuscany colourway to make a pair of socks (though later after seeing Amelia’s scarf - isn't she GORGEOUS??, I wish I’d splurged and gotten some Lion & Lamb. Amelia wishes she would have done an extra repeat). I ran from Ally Pally to meet up with Amelia on her way back from Lille and the DePalmas concert. We had a lovely chat and drank again on an empty stomach. Really twas a chat I didn't want to end. All of this lead to me RUNNING everywhere to get to the airport in time. Long story short, I didn’t make it. Well I did but it was Air France, and one never cuts corners with Air France. Seems Arthur the British God of Transport doesn’t like me either. I think the Gods of Transport have created a Union against those of us who run on Latina clocks... Therefore I headed back for an extra night at the most lovely of hosts. Arthur and local transport weren’t exactly friendly but I got there. I swear you couldn’t find a cuter, sweeter and kinder couple to stay with. I thought Arthur was going to let all hell rain on me after all that. I mean getting back to the lovely happy place was a game enough involving many types of transport. But luckily turns out that I wasn’t on his true shit list. I found an inexpensive roundtrtip ticket to go back on the Eurostar. AHHHH the joyous heavens of luck open up on me. "Barely" cost me anything, easier transport and I get something for it- a return trip! Bless Arthur. So for Monday, I called in a sickie. I slept in (I was wound a bit tight on Sunday night). I took a bath. (People I have a 2ft x 2ft shower. It has been over a year since I took a true bath. All hail the Lush bath bomb and the HUGE bathtub). I wandered through the Kew Gardens. I watched television in English. I had thoroughly forgotten the magnetic pull of CNN. It suctioned my ass into a comfy chair for hours. I made my way out in the afternoon and hopped the train back to Paris. I thought for a while Arthur was fucking with me as I had the world’s chattiest person sitting next to me. I was NOT interested in talking. He was some wacko American who lives in Paris (I know I am one to talk, but this guy was going on about Nixon… even I don’t go that far). He finally went to the food wagon. I flirted with the cute guy across the way and then took a nap. After landing I shuttled myself home and collapsed. I have to say that the weekend in London… was easily one of the better weekends I could have had in a very long time. EXACTLY what the Dr. ordered again! Lovely people. I can't begin to describe how lovely. And if I did I would just be going on and on and on. And even better there was yarn too :)

BEEEEEEEEEP

The blogger you are trying to reach is not able to come to the blog. She has had her life explode on and then alternatively vomit in technicolor on her (note the ON HER part). She is riding around the whirly twirly where the time warp is more than a dance you do during the Rocky Horror Movie. And she has been invaded or abducted by aliens... we're not telling! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA But when we have finished possessing her whole and let the pepto-bismal take some affect she will have a clapotis post, a Berlin post, a London post and a post about her raging insanity. Same batshit time, same batshit channel, but no batshit mobile! Until then... Elvis has left the building :)

Berlingo!

3 hours of sleep and groggy as all hell, not to mention many utterances of FUCK I got on a plane to Berlin. When you don’t want to face your life… run from it. How better to run than getting on a jet plane? I took my first day of vacation in over 9 months and tempted the friendly skies. No fucking around with Thor the Swedish God of Transport this time… I am flying to Berlin, on a major airline THANK YOU. Up yours Thor. Gratefully no Teutonic God of Transport is known to exist. Thus my trip went smoothly, well besides the ear-popping bit. As the dark started to lift I was sitting in the plane. Looking forward to gravity and propulsion pushing me back against my chair and taking me away from the chaos that my life has been over the past two weeks. Away from that raw shell and the slicing wounds that came from change and some bitch provoking my flaming insecurities- the ones that living abroad exacerbate on occasion. Cotton candy pouf-pouf clouds of insecurity are below me and that pink band on the horizon is my future. I am leaving the negativity that my life as a soap opera is, BEHIND. Berlin here I come! It has been a long time since I have been in a country where I don’t speak the language. Landing in an international airport, I expected signs pointing the way into town. Nein. After wandering around the airport I managed to find my way to the transfer location to catch transport into town. Woot, let’s go exhaust my 8 word German vocabulary. Gutentag sprekensie englishke? Berlin is an international capital; I am talking to a tourist official at an international airport. Am I unreasonable to think they might be able to understand English? YES. Sprekensie italianske? Nein. Sprekensie frankoischke? HAHAHAHAHAHA. Then they asked if I spoke Russian. Da of course… NOT, that is a negative ghostrider. Wilkommen til Berlin, let the language games begin. Somehow I managed to make my way into town and dropped my things off at the hostel. While Berlin has always been on my “to visit” list- it has never been the top. I was coming to Berlin to see a friend Mark. This is shorthand for Tink… having no tourist plan what so ever. Which meant walking all over with NO plan. Personally I wouldn’t go that route again in Berlin, particularly because of the feeling that Berlin inspired in me. I could be being harsh, Berlin could be the kind of place that grows on you, but to me it felt soul-less. And the history I hoped to feel was nearly non-existent. The weather however, was gorgeous. Initially I tried to find Fadensnel but instead? I found a Turkish apartment building and a döner stand. I continued on my way, I saw bunches of stuff and nothing all together. I wandered the gardens surrounding Schloss Charlottenburg. I went through Potsdamer Platz. I shopped the K’damm. The most interesting for me were the Bauhaus Archives. I wanted to save the huge sites for the few hours I would be able to pull Mark away from work so I put off the biggies. I walked myself to the point that I returned to the hostel at 9pm thinking I would change and get food before taking the night bus to see Berlin lit up. Within 15 minutes I was out cold. Yup in the town of the partying- I was out at 9:30pm on Saturday night. I am a party diva… Sunday morning I went out for a LOVELY brunch at Tomasa, and started seeing parts of town that felt a bit less soul-less. I wandered the Gendamenmarkt. Next thing I knew it was time to meet up with Mark. My dear JETLAGGED friend, I love him (he brought me Redvines!!). Anyways we trekked around: The Reichstag, Brandenburg Tör, the Jewish Museum, and Museum Island. And then Mark had to go to a horrible work dinner of really bad Bavarian food (nothing against Bavarian food but this was bad food, that unfortunately was Bavarian) Me I went to a restaurant in the hostel area. An Italian restaurant, where I spoke the Italian and they were sooooo nice!! And again after all the walking CRASHED. The next morning I woke up early to find the Wall gallery. Again the language games… even right at the wall when you say “wall” they have no clue what you are saying. Thanks to a very cute teen helping at his parents food stand, I luckily found my way, after buying me all of his marzipan rittersports. And I added one German word to my vocabulary- mauen. I walked a good length of the gallery. Then I ran “errands” which involved trying to find Birkenstocks (this is Germany it should NOT be so hard) and La Laine. La Laine was a lovely store. I got to touch all those Lana Grossa Yarns and am still wishing I hadn’t left some Red Debbie Bliss Maya behind (so much so such that I may call and see if they will let me order). I didn’t bring lots of yarn home. I bought a few balls to test out and play with and another set of Addis. I have to add to the one ball stash syndrome. And I didn’t really have the space or inclination to carry lots of yarn around while sightseeing with Mark. Mark and I ended up in front of the Ritz at Potsdammer Platz when Robbie Williams was leaving. Neither of us were impressed; me cause I don’t get Robbie (he creeps me the fuck out) and Mark cause he didn’t know who the fuck he was. We walked past the CDU headquarters and headed over to Checkpoint Charlie where we went through the museum. I have to say I think this was my favorite part of Berlin. I was with my buddy. I got a dose of history. But even better during grad school I had a professor who was awesome. Like we would go out and have beers and he would pay kind of awesome. Anyways Dieter was a military man who went VERY high in the German government. And when I say very high I mean that when there was a Wall he had a pass to go back and forth. Minister of a Government Department, Advisor to the Chancellor and President, VERY HIGH UP. And during class he would go off on tangents. These tangents often involved stories about this time in his life. And I couldn’t help but hear him telling us how it was amazing that people would fit under the trunk of a VW bug to cross the border (for my sake hear that being said with a GREAT German accent, because that is what makes one LOVE LOVE LOVE Dieter). I had to run from Checkpoint Charlie to the airport. And when I say run… I mean run. I ran to the UBahn station, I ran through the UBahn station making it only by seconds for my connections. I ran to the hostel to get my things and I ran back to the Ubahn. I ran from the Ubahn to the Bus station. And caught my bus getting me there with enough time to relax. And tell off the Air France lady who due to ONE HALF of a cm refused to let me take my carryon that I brought here as carryon on the plane. And then the bitch tried to play the whole, POOR US in Berlin enforcing the rules... Ticket in hand and said. Sorry as you have just added about an hour to my transit you will pardon me if I feel NO sympathy for your ridiculous and arbitrary Prussian tendancies. Her eyes bugged a bit and I went on my way home, to face another week.

Comment Spam

It seems that all that talk about the spam for my non-existent penis and the identity crisis it instigates, not to mention the talk about doctors... well it brings the crazies/spammers out of the woodwork. And before it really gets out of control, and before I can make the migration to the independant url, I enabled the captcha to attempt to put an end to it all (the spam, not you know life as we know it or anything :) I know, it is one more thing you have to type in and it is annoying. But for now it is all I can do to try and put a lid on any spam. Now to go and figure out how to delete spam. Cause the last thing I need is more info on penis enlargement. It is Monday morning and I am not about to start it hyperventilating over the fact that well each time I look in my pants I am confronted with the fact, a fact that I am perfectly ok with until someone else asks me if I want to enlarge it, that I have NO PENIS. (that sentence alone should get me some great googles...)

Update on Monthly Goals

1. Read one classic per month, read one book in each language you read over the year, and 28 books for the year in total - This month I read Sense and Sensibility and A Complicated Kindness. Both are worth it! And at the very end of the month I started reading Bill Bryson’s The Mother Tongue 2. Go to a new museum on each free first Sunday of the month – Nope and since I am doingt his retroactively I didn’t make it in October either (excuse I was at the Nuit Blanche the night before till 4am) 3. Drink a minimum of 1 litre of water per day - Yup, still a water retaining sea cow. And one who does the I gotta go pee pee yeah you no me dance more often. 4. Spend one night a week with no TV and no DVDs and no Technology. Whole night! – I think I got once a month in, maybe twice… should try to note it so I don’t forget I guess 5. Save money to recreate a “nest egg/safety parachute” – HAHAHAHAHA are you trying to make me laught??? Work and French bureacracy spent the past month bleeding me from my eyeballs. 6. Cook a true dinner once a month- No but I got closer, I bought meat- now to use it before it goes bad…. 7. Try a new cuisine each month (something you normally scrunch your nose at!) – I have been on a no eating out dinner. And the cooking moratorium is in place too. But I promise next month to try something I scrunch my noes at. 8. Take one activity class per week (pilates, ballet, dance, yoga, etc) – I have made it a point to run once a week or walk a whole hell of a lot once a week. 9. Do one physical activity (swimming, running, rock climbing, cardio at gym etc) once a week- Not happening, money is tight 10. Run a half Marathon - I am trying to keep up on the running weekly thing and thinking I might like doing the Dublin race 11. Eat vegetables (i.e. a vegetable for the month eaten once a week) Still ditching this one 12. Make a monthly contribution to a charity - I have contributed to the Red Cross. You should too!! 13. Start “learning” Spanish- not yet 14. Visit two regions in France and at least one vineyard, plus one new country – China is seemingly off the list for the rest of this year (don’t ask) but instead thanks to a special friend I am going to Berlin next weekend and I have never been there before. 15. Get my grandfather’s birth certificate - HELL YEAH BEEEYOTCHES I have GOT IT. This one is off the list. I am still waiting for the death certificate though. One step at a time 16. Take a scuba diving course- I am looking into a program for it in Belize, Thailand or the Red Sea maybe in March of next year. Saving for it to will have to be taken into account, where I will get that savings… I know not 17. Learn about and read the texts of one of the major world religions - No attention paid, I think I would like to look in to Hindu but that seems a bit overwheming… 18. Finish my knitting projects- Yeah, yeah yeah I am getting there. I did socks galore, I started a clapotis (that has a whole other story behind it) and baby sweaters. Now to seam up Fern and buy Pretty Wrappy Top yarn. 19. Go to one Opera and one Ballet at Garnier- Offices have just opened back up but by September they will have the performance list for the Fall out for the choosing!! Will try to coral my favorite scruffy italian when he moves to town next week for a night out. 20. Take a photo daily - Not daily but I am getting some taken, this one is my most recent favorite- Kate… it is for you! Taken during the Nuit Blanche 21. Floss weekly – I have declared war on the floss. An avoidance war. We will see if I ever conqueor this one. 22. DECLUTTER – Still in the bit by bit mode. 23. STUDY my ass off and take the GREs (while you are at it, get a ROCKING score too) – I have bought the books and remembered why I hate them. I NEED MATHS HELP!!! Why can no book carry lots of exercises for maths, when they have tons for verbal?? The exam it fucking sucks. Next step start studying seriously. Next step is to schedule a date and pay up. 24. Make your home more yours (decoration etc) – None of this this month. My flat has been a disaster actually. I made the switch over in wardrobes and so… more ostrich manoeuvres 25. Cultivate a bit of garden on your window – Time to go to the flower market again. But I have cleared out those that will not winter over so we are ready for the next planting. 26. Get a website up and going - I have bought both urls and I chosen a host. I should be on the way to get memory tonight. Let's hope that external speakers work to cause the speakers work not now and that makes Tink and her DVDs not happy 27. Keep the dishes done nightly- We have had on and off weeks. 28. Relax and fill this one in later when it comes to you :) - I think this is going to become a rotater monthly; so for next month the goal is: Next month the goal is to eamil old friends and get back in touch with people.

Do I ever Knit???

Seriously do I ever do anything but bitch…Why yes I do (though I still bitch a lot). I am paranoid, and when I get paranoid I not only hear voices, the voices stress me out. And when I am stressed out I knit. Like a fiend. So today’s post… it brings you knitting and a celebrity sighting- which should get its own post… but I am lazy, so it is the cookie at the end, for those of you anxious and all. First I bring you socks from Sockapaltwoza. I am a slacker. I know. But see my pal is in Houston. I emailed her to say I was about a week late (which is good for me), and at that exact same time she was hosting an unwelcome visitor named Rita. Given that fact she will let me know when to send them, with French goodies to make up for my inherent lameness. Here is the table shot of socks I am calling bubble gum candy cane stripes. They have to be kitchenered up (and I need to remember how to do that…) but they are “done.” I hope they fit and that she likes them! And since I am jealous of everyone else who can go throw their things on plants in a garden… here is my attempt as I try to “garden” on my balconier. The pot is empty due to the weather change (oh yes equinox and all- it is officially Fall), the dahlias say it’s a no-go any more. I haven’t decided what to plant in its place. I switch between bulbs, crazy plants, and the Parisen Roi des Balcons- geraniums like every other freaking windowsill grows. Next up is one of the NOT WHAT I EXPECTED stripy socks. I haven’t decided if I will keep them or given them to someone else. I am not 100% fond of the colors, but they have grown a wee bit more on me. Continuing with my theme are the socks socks and more socks pile (yes people, I may be having blog blahs… and the "eh" work deal, but I am sock knitting to beat the band). The pink anklets in that pile there the F-You Cancer, said while I am being Pretty in Pink Anklets. They will hopefully make tootsies warmer and the cancer fuck off. The blue ones are for the about to burst already pregnant lady. They will match His Royal Highness's outfit. I am hoping that her womb is comfy enough that the socks arrive before “he” decides to make his appearance. I know she hates me for that but hey, I am selfish. Gestate till they get there! They are for her to wear at the hospital (instead of silly slippers that the checklist suggests). And those b-limey ones?? Well I fell in LOVE with the others and I wanted a pair for me. This is my colour and I am loving them. One down one to go! Now we get to notoriety. Not mine- I don’t have enough readers. Notoriety of the “them” kind. Le Bon Marché had guests for the day. For those not in the know, France is not so big on the LYS concept. They have boutiques here and there, but they are often just one brand (like Phildar, Anny Blatt and Plassard) and not always do they have that great of a selection. Almost never do they have a GREAT sale, nor are there usually discounts. So you go to the department stores, which like in the UK have yarn. Funny to think of Nordstroms as your yarn store, but that is how things work here. I call it a haberdashery- it sounds posh. Anyways since le Bon Marché has La Drougerie, Phildar, Anny Blatt, Bouton d’Or, Plassard, Noro, Colinette Rowan, RYC, and Debbie Bliss. They are my LYS, that one stop shopping concept- me likey. Over all given what she has to work with Marie (who runs my favorite section) does pretty good. Sometimes we get half ass trunk shows (here have one pattern done in something from one pattern book you carry… here is another from another in another series, is what I call it). But most of the time it is all blind faith. Now for the most part getting patterns and the like in takes a while- cause they sell them only with the translations. And that means they have to be translated. Sure that makes sense, but I don’t want to knit in French. I already drink enough wine as it is. This means that they have carried the Alpaca Silk line for about 8 months I think… and had no pattern book. But WHAM BAM Thank You Ma’am- the motherlode is arriving. Marie is extending her Debbie Bliss line, and in doing that she got us a visit from the traveling road show. Debbie Bliss and Jane Ellison came to town!!! And I got to see the Alpaca Silk DK, the Cashmerino Ashkatran and knit patterns!Yeah I took a long lunch to go and see. At first I was shy… then I asked if I could try things on (it may be a yarn store- but it is France you NEVER know). Here we go opens the great divide by saying well I actually half know people that you do so … and then there was no turning back. I started chatting with them both. Which was probably an oddity of sorts given their day- as most of the people coming by the table only spoke French. There was a translator on hand but you know… actually I stepped in as a model of two things and translated a bit myself as I stood there hemming and hawing. I mean Debbie Bliss told me she was starting to dislike me as I kept looking sexy in all these goods. Sure it was the sales pitch but it entertained me. They were very kind and said that I HAD to make two of the items, and to be honest I agree. One more than the other, but so goes it. I bought the books for both and now need to find me a deal on the yarn. So without further ado… here are the girls who run the show and headline it too. And these two are of me in patterns that I love. Please ignore the fact that I look like a wide load in them though m’kay? Thanks! But before we get there (and to be honest I dont know when I will, but I was ONE hair away from running off with it I swear I was) next post... it is Clapotis!

Doctor, Doctor

Let’s talk about living abroad. It is one thing to work in Franglais all day, watch French TV and then mumble in your sleep in French (yes a friend confirmed my sleep talking… it be in the French now). But none of that ensures when you face daily life situations you will not resort to playing charades, talking in circles or trying to francophone a word into comprehension. You would think with that Latin base in medicine it might work… you would be wrong. Nope 9 years of school girl French did not teach me how to talk with my doctor (nor many other people). And so we bring you stories of visits to the doctor by Tink: The first encounter was the one that ensured the others. No it was not to the generalist… it was the joy called OMI Visite Médicale. The one in which I paid the French government 220 euros to get my clearance. YIPEEEEE. Off we go at 8:30 am to the other side of town. Don’t you see me skipping along the path Mary Sunshine? Yes this is how I want to start my Friday. I told you French bureaucrats had talent! All I want to do is finish this thing and get my fucking tampon. No not for my period or regle as it is called here- which also means rule, they call stamps timbre sometimes, tampon others. Appropriately enough, a carte de séjour is a tampon. Dual meaning words in medical and bureaucratic things are fun says Tink. First thing I have to get out my mouth at 8:30 in the morning is to clarify that they will not be giving me my carte de séjour there like they do for everyone else. I am short bus special. I am an Olympic gold medallist in the stud game. They do not believe me. Seriously don’t you know I woke up at God O’Clock to sit my ass in the waiting room for 2 hours?? Let me go wait. Anyways after they dig for 40 minutes (they start slower in the morning than I do- impressive…) they confirm no they do not have my file so… they will only doing my medical visit. I will have the added joy of going to the préfucture again after all this fun. So I get to go sit and wait. And wait. And wait. Let the exam begin. Well not so much exam but scan. Remember back to the second grade when you started school and there was health day where you walked around with a colored paper fish cut out stuck to a tongue depressor and they recorded things about you and played pirates (eye exam) before sliding a hand up your spine (Nope no scoliosis here!). Yeah it is like that. They weigh me, they measure me (hey I now know my height in cm! Not worth 220 euros but something) they make me do the eye test which really should just be called a test on your ability to recite the French alphabet when performed early in the morning (what is that letter- Y. Y?? shit I mean Y pronounced as Egrek) and then we get to the pregnancy test. This one is my favorite. I was totally prepared to pee in a cup, but pregnancy tests in France at OMI go like this: Are you pregnant? Non? Ok on to the next bit where you strip. And here we have the entertainment. See if you haven’t guessed we are recounting a NO TINK ONLY YOU story. To the Cabine to get proof of what I knew hours before. Indeed, I do not have tuberculosis. . There is a line of 4 of them. First the "doctor" gives me the instruction in French, to strip off my top-EVERYTHING off the top, lock the door and wait for them to come and get me. I got it, great. But my brilliant “doctor” has figured out that I am an Anglophone (like that Irish name didn’t give it away ;) So he decides to give me the instructions in English, mind you they are written in 18 languages on the wall of the cabine but he wants to talk. They went like this (imagine the hands too). “Zhou Stripper Topless.” The entertainment value of that is at least worth 10 euros right?? I do my first radiography and go back to sitting in the waiting room. Guess what, after playing the Flash them the Tata’s game once, I was asked back for a second round. I must have Tata’s made of Kryptonite, the first time the Tata’s did not “souffle” enough. Time for round two in the joy cabines. And after another round in the waiting room with the rapper ghetto fabulous gansta wannabes from the Maghreb hood I got called in to do the first of what has become many medical discussions over the past 3 weeks. This time though I answer her questions. Do I exercise- yes, have I had any major surgeries- no. Blah Blah Blah. This one is easier than the other cause me… I never intend to go back if I can avoid it, so I am quiet. Later in the day there was a visit to the préfuckture. There was a cerimonial dance, some sprinkling of the holy water, a few incantations and the affixing of a tampon to my passport. Yes for 420 plus euros, not to mention the costs to my sanity, my work time or my over all faith in many many things - I have a carte de séjour. This should have resulted in a WHOOSH of joy, but the funds expended that the organization is rejecting reimbursment for…they take it all out of a girl. But the one nice thing is that now that I have the carte de séjour they have to get me a French social security number! And with that I can get my reimbursements so that means I can go to the doctors!!! I immediately went to my pharmacist, asked for doctor’s references (OBGYN, GP, Dermo, etc) and made me some appointments. I had the appointment with the GP first. Another recounting of the medical history (where in I make an effort) and 20 questions. I pay 20 euros and get two prescriptions, one for pharmaceuticals, the other for blood tests? Blood tests places who get right freaking snappy (and the French, they can DO snappy!) when you try to find out how much you will have to pay (I have to pay up front and wait till I get a numéro de sécu- there is no telling how long that will take. Then and only then can I submit my receipts for reimbursement, how ever long that take the French to process and all. All this before I will see my money again, things are already tight people I need to budget. I need to know if I am back on the fecking couscous diet!). All that to see how much alien blood I am carrying as a vessel for the … wait they said not to say my name- but for the record there was no anal probe (Southpark reference for those who caught Cartman ;) Next up was yesterdays OBGYN, oh we all love that annual deal. I must admit I am the woman all other women love to hate. I don’t get PMS or PMT depending on how you like to call it. I know you hate me. I don’t find the papsmears to be anything to bring out the tears or fears for either. Sure I wouldn’t order one up for fun, but really nothing to cry home about. And as for being there in the stirrups and all? Well I have very few virtues modesty is not one of them. I flash that much of the cooch when I wax it so I am ok if you’re ok. This time was better than all other Dr visits though. I was the last of the day. I gave her the family medical history and then we went to the exam room. Being that her office was an apartment at one point basically we go to the kitchen/toilet. She says take off your pants, and as I do she digs in the drawer for the speculum. This lack of privacy may bother some but for me I see nothing but the good in it. First I don’t have to put on some stewpid gown and float about like Casper trying to keep my ass from freezing off while waiting for the Dr to never return. And two goes FASTER, which is always good in my book. Anyways I am done I put my thighs (not feet) in the “stirrups” and we are off and running. Here is where my inner three year old and French language collide. I decide after winging my way through the appointment I should use it as a learning experience. I am going to learn the French words for things like- Papsmear. It will make for great discussion with the Ambassadors to the Organization at cocktail parties. So I look down between my legs and ask her what is this called. Un Frottis….hahahahahaha says the inner three year old. Frotis- you mean from the verb to rub (as in rub thy self or up against someone else...). The same verb that is slang for saying jack off??? HAHAHAHAHA Yes Ed I’ll go for jacking off, no wait make that a papsmear. Living in France… so much for the pants… tis a hoot non?

Ketchup

No. Not on my fries, for you. Time for me to ketchup everyone who bothers to read anymore. I have been a bad blogger. I had all these posts and just couldnt bring myself to type them. The blahs hit me, but in typing things not kitting them. It is silly of me, I know, but I never said I wasn't a fickle bird. I should do things properly so that they all get equal attention, but I am really too tired to go through and back enter everything. So here is the condensed rundown. In life well this starting the new job (oh mi god it is going to be LOTS of work) is giving me a run for my money. Unfortunately the "Eh" has still not left the building. It needs to catch a ride with Elvis soon though. Go "Eh"... go to Graceland. I got a WHACK upside the head from the organisation (no reimbursement). Someone tell me why I PAY to work for them as they screw me over??? Then add in having someone I would rather not have (in the work crew) hit on me, hit on me hard, and now I must go dance on eggshells of the id and ego as I say… I love you but you are married, that is always a NO GO. Next up was a freak out I spared you when I had the whole realization that the exams I have to take for my PhD applications (let us not talk about the applications, their HEINOUS letters of intent and fees), you know the ones I AM NOT studying for like I should… that ostrich method leaves me with my ass in the air- you do the math. Want more? Huh?? HUH??? I got more for ya, for good measure another WHACK on the other side of the head to even it all out (thanks to incompetence by my student loans institute, the swirling sound you hear is my credit record going down the toilet, and it's not even my fault... Of course I don't get your letters when you mail them to Paris CANADA, and not Paris FRANCE like I told you...). What does all that leave us with? Tink laying dazed on the ground with the little Tweety birds circling her head. On the other side, where I don’t bleed money through my eyeballs- or maybe I do and this is how I try to ignore that fact, I have been knitting. I started a Clapotis and have many many questions. This one will get its own post, whenever I can get back to knitting it. It is on the back burner. Why would it be there… well because I have so many socks to knit it is not even funny. (Photos and links at a future date) I have knit a pair of socks for someone who was recently diagnosed with breast cancer and had a mastectomy before she starts radiation. I knit a pair of socks for someone who is about to BURST with a beautiful bouncing baby boy to wear at the hospital- instead of slippers you know. I am frantically knitting to finish up (the cancer socks jumped in line and I lost track of time plus thought the date was the end not middle of September) my Retro Rib socks for my Sockapaltwoza pal. I should after two-three more nights of furious knitting, she has looooooong feet, be done with them and only have to go face the evil evil post office debacle (lest I remind you how horrible I am about getting to the post office in time for these things- I have the DVD set of Father Ted which I really really want (and totally could knit to for EONS) waiting there for me and it has been 4 days and counting that I don't get there during their crap hours). I am trying to get working on something sweater like cause this past week I have been showing nip given the dip in temperatures. The weather is gorgeous but the crispness is there and transition to Fall is starting. I have dreams of watching orange and red leaves fall (shut up about the Parisian leaves, I remember ok… we are delusioning, join me please) as I wrap up in a yummy plush sweater. I usually love this as Fall is one of my favorite seasons. I have grand delusions of me taking that study book I bought and having a nice hot chocolate (ancien SVP) as I sit in a WIFI enabled cozy café and geek out on my computer over these stupid computer adapted tests. But I am not ready for it, any of it to be honest. I am fighting change for whatever reason and well it is taking it out of me. So that is where things stand. I will post the Sockapaltwoza socks with goodies to make up for me being a flake on Saturday (a day I MIGHT be able to make it to the post office in time!) and then I will finish up a pair of anklets that I started for myself in B-Limey baby cashmerino. After that, well I am going to make myself order the yarn to finish the Pretty Wrappy Top, I am going to finish a bunch of stuff (why finish I mean it is the knitting I like you know :) First on the finish the fuckers list are two Daydreams I have all knit up and waiting for babies to grow out of them! After that I will take on dealing with the finishing of Fern. If I don’t drop all those once the Retro Rib socks are done to go back to the Clapotis. And then once I decide on the perfect pattern, I can start knitting me that Fall sweater. Bwhahahahahahahahaha!!!

Update on the monthly goals

1. Read one classic per month, read one book in each language you read over the year, and 28 books for the year in total - This month I have read almost all of Portrait of a Lady and started Sense and Sensibility 2. Go to a new museum on each free first Sunday of the month - Ok have NOT done good on this one. MUST get derriere up and moving!! 3. Drink a minimum of 1 litre of water per day - Yup, Yup now I am a water retaining sea cow. And one who does the I gotta go pee pee yeah you no me dance more often. 4. Spend one night a week with no TV and no DVDs and no Technology. Whole night! - Yeah does the night I passed out count… will get there will get there right?? 5. Save money to recreate a “nest egg/safety parachute” - Hmmm battling this one as I have a start on the nest egg but would like to just pay the student loans as much as I can too. 6. Cook a true dinner once a month- Tink loves to eat the meat she needs to get over not knowing how to buy it (family owned a cattle ranch, the meat fairy brought it POOF to the freezer. 7. Try a new cuisine each month (something you normally scrunch your nose at!) - I had sushi last month. I like some of them but the raw texture on most of them gets to me each and every time. I am a very texture sensitve one. It explains why I will eat french fries but not mashed potatoes 8. Take one activity class per week (pilates, ballet, dance, yoga, etc) - I was lazy… but I have joined the www.fittoknit.blogspot.com and I decided for this month I am goig to focus on making running weekly the habit of choice 9. Do one physical activity (swimming, running, rock climbing, cardio at gym etc) once a week- see above 10. Run a half Marathon - I am going to keep up on the running weekly thing and this month I am researching which one I would be interested in 11. Eat vegetables (i.e. a vegetable for the month eaten once a week) - I am three years old and ditched this one this month. It is difficult and easy, which is why I am grumpy with myself. Sure I could go fry me some vegetables but that isnt healthy. Otherwise I prefer them raw which should make it easier but seemingly does not 12. Make a monthly contribution to a charity - I have contributed to MSF and Olivers Fund. You should too!! 13. Start “learning” Spanish- not yet but see below 14. Visit two regions in France and at least one vineyard, plus one new country - Well it looks like with the job China will get to be on the list and I am going to try and visit a friend in Toulouse here soon 15. Get my grandfather’s birth certificate - HELL YEAH BEEEYOTCHES I have GOT IT. This one is off the list. This means I am one step closer to my Spanish nationality again AND with that I will never have to go through this paper work dance AGAIN to work in Europe!!! 16. Take a scuba diving course- I am looking into a program for it in Belize or the Red Sea maybe in March of next year. Saving for it to will have to be taken into account 17. Learn about and read the texts of one of the major world religions - No attention paid, must decide which one... 18. Finish my knitting projects- Yeah, yeah yeah I am getting there 19. Go to one Opera and one Ballet at Garnier- Offices have just opened back up but by September they will have the performance list for the Fall out for the choosing!! 20. Take a photo daily - Not daily but I am getting some taken 21. Floss weekly - Dude I was good for 2 weeks doing it 3 times and then I fell off the bandwagon. Wearing floss isn't going to help is it?? 22. DECLUTTER - I decluttered some of my papers, bit by bit I will get there 23. STUDY my ass off and take the GREs (while you are at it, get a ROCKING score too) - I have been researching which book to get. Which is one big fuck you to this goal. AND HOLY SHIT it is September, I am hoping to take the exam by November…so now I am going to BUY the damn things and start the studying no more bullshit 24. Make your home more yours (decoration etc) - I have done a bit of this. I hung some pictures I bought and I bought a vase for flowers. More of the incremental 25. Cultivate a bit of garden on your window - This, I have got this one all over. Well except that I have to replace my dahlias. I have lemon verbena, mint and rosemary going good with my strawberries 26. Get a website up and going - I have bought both urls and I chosen a host. Once lap top has more memory (no repeat comatose status is desired) I can start the designing and then buy the server space 27. Keep the dishes done nightly- I mostly get this one done 28. Relax and fill this one in later when it comes to you :) - I think this is going to become a rotater monthly; so for next month the goal is: Get some sun, get outside, enjoy the last breaths of it all.

Fridays are for the Prefuckture

It is Friday boys and girls we all know what Friday is for… it’s for Préfuckture visits. Where in Tink gets to use her silent and “free” time to think up catchy lyrics for her newest and greatest hit “If you want a carte de séjour- grab your ankles” (sung to the tune of “If your happy and you know it clap your hands” – yeah I am totally child safe and proof, like 40 proof vodka). You would think having been on the inside and bent consistently over a barrel that the astonishment might wear off; bit it doesn’t. I know it works in THEIR way, but still it is at MY expense. Some how these lovely French bureaucrats can consistently schedule my interviews; they might take two months to get the next one, but lovingly they are always on a Friday. Great way to potentially fuck with the start of my weekends… the French bureaucrats, they think of everything. So after the last experience, I recruited a local; someone who knows the way to work with them, and can say things in the French. In other words someone who doesn’t have a hot head, tourettes of the inconvenient nature and waving arms. For those of you not following the game- that would be not me. Besides, I needed all the support I could get. So I made my friend Jean come with me. I am sure he was happy about it, or at least as happy as I was. Seemingly each one of these visits has the equivalent of 9 layer dip to go through so we start with parking hell. I have to go from work to the central and huge rat maze préfecture in the center of town. Unfortunately this means we have to go in and use the Notre Dame parking garage. We go in, and there is NO space… and they have conveniently shut down the second floor with no warning until you have taken your payment ticket and entered. Great! 15 minutes circling the one lap 50 meter roundabout with MORE cars coming in, in a BIG fambly-mobile. I manage to get out and hijack a parking spot for us, much to the annoyance of the other fambly-mobile. Cue the special happy, happy, joy, joy dance I do for the préfuckture. Through the clearing gates and security checks I go. This would be where my necklace, the pretty blue box one… sets off the detectors. Thank god for small favors, the French might be bureaucratic but they aren’t security retentive. They look me up and down; they stare at the decolatage and let me and my necklace of mass destruction (destruction of my savings balance at least) into the préfuckture. On your marks, get set; GO; there is a race to the titres de séjour room. I get us there in no time. Only after getting there, as I some how pleased the bureaucracy gods and have an afternoon rendez-vousn right after the lunch break- meant things that go by in slow motion with three people sitting in front of you doing nothing. After an hour wait where Jean and I read the poster of court approved interpreters and make up discussions I get called. We sit down with the lady from the French Antigues. Oh my god… the accent was thicker than the attitude and really that was up there. Even Jean had difficulty understanding her. So I played dumb Yankee and spoke to Jean in English. She got huffy asking what was I saying. Then I shut up and Jean negotiated with her. First she tried to tell me I had to go meet with someone at the Foreign Ministry. No, No, No; I already tried to pull those strings, I am in the right place at the right time- go talk to your boss. I have survived the rounds again… I have a contract and if they deny me this time… breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out. Jean the lovely man he is convinces the Antiguan lady to go and talk to her boss. When she does that we have to go and sit for another 45 minutes. Then she comes out and yells something that Jean catches, but I miss. Sometimes I am lucid and without paying intentional attention I can understand the French going on around me. It isn’t always just background noise. But that would not be the case when I am stressed the fuck out and sitting in the préfuckture. So Jean turns and says she just asked if you have your check book to pay the fees. I say umm yeah, with a grumbly feeling in my stomach. You know with the sound that the blades of a blender on the PULSE THE FUCK OUT OF HER INNERS speed makes. You remember that great TV game show from the 80s. No Whammy, No Whammy, NO WHAMMY. Well I spun the dealie and I chanted No Whammy, No Whammy, No Whammy, but here came WHAMMY one. I was not clear on much and neither was Jean, but I was going to have to pay 198€ to go to the next interview. I will pause while we all gather our knitting purses. WHAT AM I PAYING FOR?? No one can tell me. I am crazy in that I like to know at least WHY I am paying when I am bent at the hips. It is just some made up name tax and it is some special thing for me. In other words SHUT UP AND PAY. Cause I am special, the short bus with a helmet, kneepads, shin guards and elbow protectors kind of special. I become mute with the shock. After a while of Jean repeating “they are going to give you the carte de séjour, they are going to give it to you” I started to think to myself. Who needs to pay student loans… But the kicker that is on rinse, lather, repeat in my "must hold every thing against everything" mind … Whammy One had an added benefit that turns out I didn’t have to go back to the US back in March. That whole 3000€ I lost, there was no need, I just had to saddle up the money to pay some senseless tax that was 200€. And so the bitterness invades. I know I should let it go, but I haven’t had my special meeting with the Dalai Lama yet so I am pissy. So we leave area one go back to the central inquiries desk to find out where to pay. I go over to cashier lady in another part of the rats maze and get my receipt to go to the other lady and pay up. She chats with me as she goes through the arcane fashion that they take care of things. The lady does not use a computer people… I get paper receipts that are hand written, with of course no info. Anyways after I have paid we learned about another step in the game. Yes whilst singing the latest and greatest hit "If you want a carte de séjour grab your ankles" I am expected to do a complicated waltz step too. Go ahead try waltzing while holding your ankles, I’ll wait. Back to Antiguan lady who now magically comes up with a lighter accent and some English of all things. See the deal is… I have to go to a medical clearance appointment. The kind like what you went through in school only they take your xrays and administer a pregnancy test. Oh I have to do that… ok. HAHAHA you say- THAT is a WHAMMY?? No the WHAMMY is that I have to pay 220€ for that pleasure. So in a matter of three hours I have forked out WITHOUT warning FOUR HUNDRED and NINETEEN EUROS. That is no small change, that was student loan payments, that has no guarantee of reimbursement, so yeah... I balked a bit. This is when that Antiguan accent disappeared and the lady had the audacity to say well you make enough money to pay for this. Sure this has to be one nasty bill for the Senegalese but hey… you think that shit, not say it out loud. Jean grips my thigh to keep me quiet, I clench his to try and stay stable. I leave indentations. The level of astonishment is well beyond me. I don’t know what to do with all this. I mean on one side I am getting my carte de séjour. But any happiness is swiped right out but the whole blood letting and the righteous lady. Dude I can do righteous that doesn’t mean I want it coming back at me. And not when I am a fragile flower at the préfucture. I know it is ironic that with a good outcome I am calling it the préfuckture. I guess it is the bitterness about all of this. The denial of my right to a carte spécial, the HELLACIOUS run around I went through to start the job and the whole 5 month adventure of doing it on my own (international organisatiosn "take care" of you). But this time next week after flashing the tatas to prove I don’t have tuberculosis and peeing in a cup, theoretically, I will do the holy dance with the préfecture people and have a carte de séjour. Supposedly Look back here next Friday to see if I managed to get it all together, or if someone else from the Third World pats my ... no let's hope not.

Update on the Contract

I am not sure I ever appropriately answered this as I go through my umpteenth funk with the blog and what it should be or what I should talk about. Well funk that; here is the status. Tink has a contract extended through the end of the year. She is gonna stay in Paris. This post has funding already secured for next year, therefore unless there is a great big Tink flop between now and November… Tink should have a bit more of a permanent/stable contract and 25% pay raise in January. Unlike last time there was no jumping around and bouncing off the ceilings, which is odd all given. I mean I have been stretching out on the rack having esoterical discussions whilst hyperventilating with Torquemada himself through out this recent Inquisition, so you would think the world would come off my shoulders. Atlas shrugged if you like. Ikke so migge… To add misery to pain, there was no relief, because I still have to face down another layer of bureaucracy in the 9 layer dip of hell that working abroad can be. There is no glamourising life in Paris here people, not this is the raw and utter truth of the matter. That and I have laundry to do. I glitz with glamour in the eternal city :) If there was no Lionel Ritchie fest where I did my own rendition of Dancing on the Ceiling, what was there? Well there was a whole whoop load of frustration for the process I went through (Tink says hand over the vodka and no more fucking interviews) and there was a very “Eh” feeling. All that inspite of the fact that Tink got what she “wanted” (Tink should know better by now to “want” anything…). Most of the "Eh" stems from the changes of one post to another. Funny even though the new post is great with a nice new team, potentially more work but also more rewarding and interesting; me- I want my old job, at my old desk, with my old team, and my old boss in particular. And I am mopeing around about that. I am beyond resolution of the “Eh” feeling as I get to travel to China for work. Sure it’ll be in December, but I have always wanted to go and fuck the snow I am hiking the Great Wall people. But that alone has not been enough to stir out the “Eh” feeling. And that my friends is surprising because if there is anything that itches more than the ever so FUCKING annoying bug that invaded the walls of my flat, it is the travel bug I caught way back. And the cherry on this is that I don’t even have to pay the expensive parts of this trip, I’ll even get to fly business class… I mean for penny pincher me you would think that would take the "Eh" out of the building. Ikke so migge. Anyways there you have it. 4 more months of stability, with a whoping dish of “EH” Some one smack Tink the fuck out of the “Eh.” PLEASE.

Happy Blog Birthday!

Yup that is right this sucker has been around for one whole year. I started this one year ago after some of my envy got the better of me and the SP3 swap drew me in. Who knew what it would have turned into and what it will turn into this year.

And with the contract finally secured through the end of the year (yup- that WOOOSH you heard Tuesday at about 12:00 Paris time... It was the sound of me stepping into the decompression chamber) and the blog birthday coming up I thought it was time to take task and look around. First thing I have decided is that moving time is near and dear. Blogger is great for what you pay, and since you pay nada, you get your exact value worth. And while I am not at the point of hating it with the heat of many fiery suns, I don't want to wait until I get that "feeling" either. There are other features I want that I simply can't do with blogger- like create photo and project galleries, create post categories, create pages for FAQs (like where are all the Parisian yarn shops...) manage my comments, and much much more. So I am cutting loose while it is loose. I have decided to move the blog to its own and right URL, that I caved and bought. I am going to set it up using Movable Type/Typepad and possibly do a redesign. I am looking into the server/hosting and I think I have found a reasonable package. And even though I am probably going to hold off on internet in the flat for right now, I have a computer back that isn't locking up on me at all times so... there are no more excuses. So I will be setting that up, trying to implement a design, clean up and transfer all the posts + from here and delete the blog. Next thing I have noticed that my first post of last year was saying about how this blog would be "all knitting all the time." Dude I think the blog has become all whining all the time. I have held up my end of the bargain from the previous post, I made my Oliver's Fund contribution (and so should you) as well as my MSF donation (again so should you). I haven't decided if I am going to cut myself down to the point of only posting about knitting and not about life, but I do know I want to get back to posting about life here in Paris (and not just the hyperventilation parts) and I want to post more pictures and the life. SO changes are a coming and in the Fall time air. And third- Tink needs to not have so many random objects sitting around. She needs to FINISH her stuff even if she is a knitting as process over product kind of gal. So what have been the highlights of the past year knitblogging: 1. I have made some LOVELY LOVELY LOVELY friends! 2. I have been the recipient of an astounding amount of kindness given my incessant whining! 3. I have finally knit something for myself that I ACTUALLY wear!! 4. I have kept track of my knitting 5. I have learned a bit about me So this blogging thing not all that bad. Happy birthday blog.

ENOUGH

It is an economic reality that a lack of transparency creates uncertainties, and uncertainties lead people to hedge (and in my case become a dancing Queen of the “LE FREAK C’est Chic” a-thon). And that can’t be interesting to read. It is time to take the knit in knit blog back. But before I do that (it will be the next post- I am already writing it :P) lets go to the important stuff. This post has more important things to tackle, much more important… Let’s tackle Oliver (tickle the boy, tickle him… oh wait not that kind of tackle) So the DIVINE Ms. Emma has an absolutely adorable boy.

His name is Oliver. (Hi Emma, nicked your photo, but no hot linking here! :)

Anyone who has blinked twice at this wonderful woman can’t help but notice that Emma is one very special person. The amounts of kindness and generosity she extends can astound. I know she has amazed me personally on occasion. So it seeks to reason that Oliver is one very special boy too. And this special boy has some special needs. We all need things right? So Emma has listed out the extent of what it will take to help this adorable munchkin become mobile, gain some independance and be well protected. Then she stepped up and asked for help. Ask and yee shall receive. And if there is anyone out there who knows how hard it is to ask for, let alone accept help- c’est MOI. I can’t let things stand till they are equal… I am only now grasping the “it equals out over time; you don’t have to cut Dutch at each and every point” notion. Now I know I don’t get THAT much traffic and most of you have seen the calls to arms, or pocketbooks as it may be from others. Or the auctions Kerrie has created (here and here) that are unbelievable, as is the auction that Kim created (here). But I want echo that call and to put my two cents in. First you go to make a donation, then you can take my two pence.

Click Here and Make a Donation!

*I'd use Claudia's lovely button, but Blogger is being tempermental about making it a link*

I have been whinging on the past month over the dragged out process of securing another contract. And not too long before then I was freaking out about the whole staying in France. Previous to that it was my bloody dissertation. So yeah I think I need neurotic and whiny added somewhere in the title of this blog, right about NOW. To put myself on a bit better karmic standing, and feel a bit more bitchy balanced; next paycheck (Wednesday), contract secured (which I am continually told it should be by then…) or NOT, it is donation time.

I looked up my finances from when I started this contract. I have set money aside (though if I wanted to be stingy and miserable I could have set aside more I guess) and I have itemized out what I have spent my money on. Over the past 5 months I took out my yarn/knitting purchases from my bank statements, not as much as I might have thought but enough to be noticeable. I am not unique in this donation formulation- the Harlot, brilliance she is, herself suggested this as a possible donation guide for Tricoteuses Sans Frontiers. I decided that the most expensive of those months will be my donation and the average of my months will be another donation to Medecins Sans Frontiers (these two articles and my work reminded me that I need to pay some things forward and do so promptly). Next post, one year and counting of a midget running around with pointy sticks in her hands not afraid to use them, and what the year to come is bringing in the door.

Let’s Play A Game

See Tink’s life is a crap shoot. And right now the wheel going round her head is spinning. So time for everyone to heed the Roulette Master and “Place your bets! Place your bets!” Bets are currently being taken for how many seconds of sanity appearance Tink can muster and when SOMEONE will just settle things up for her future. In the meantime could someone PLEASE just shoot me dead? NOW. Serious, Tink hunting season has opened in full; no license or permit needed. That or find me a pause/stop button. I mean what fucking international concentric circle of hell have I landed myself in this time? The jobs I interviewed for, that were supposed to let me know early LAST week… they emailed this morning. Prompt has a whole new meaning in this concentric circle of hell, if you weren’t aware. FINALLY an email... but wait! Not with a thumbs up or thumbs down proposal. Lest I state that these are TEMPORARY posts that they supposedly wanted someone to start in poste haste, and last only to the end of the year. Sure next January it could become permanent, but there will be nothing in paper about that until November. No they want me to go to another freaking "appointment." Could be an interview, could be an introduction, could be me popping out of a penile birthday cake only to frighten the fuck out of two Japanese men... Wait and see. What kind of process are they trying to wring my thighs and ass (recent signatories of the rogue non-proliferation treaty that is trying to 1. Take over Luxembourg, and 2. keep them out of my pants) through. All this with people not even in the friggin division I would work in, thus people I would NOT work with. People that are not related through the 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon to the post. OH MI GOD, how many hoops of fire do I have to jump through backwards whilst wearing my macramed triangle bikini made out of recycled Nepalese sari yarn chanting the Magna Rea backwards, in pig latin. Currently, me and my inside mole friend are uttering a great big WHAT THE HOLY FUCK-A-DOODLE-DOO?? I swear I am ready to start evangelicizing to God himself if he would step me out of this concentric circle of hell. I believe the timing of all this (fter 2 weeks of nothingness and silence that would deafen the deaf) to be a karmic response to the fact that I interviewed for another post yesterday. I have no clue if I will get it or not. At least them though, they seemed like they were hot to trot to get someone in the post, so chances are I will probably/hopefully hear from them either way before I have this next bogus interview for the posts that will never make up their minds. Funny how yesterday I was totally ambivalent about it all. I thought if I got the happy nightmare, i.e. both posts, I might take the one that currently wants me to interview again. The overall pro cons of these posts, that are all similar in skills, responsibilities, and travel opportunities, were even. WERE is the imperative word. Dude, I get that post from yesterday’s interview… and I am taking it, no longing, and no looking back. Nada! Just a pay raise, some travel and a freaking answer!!! But wait you don’t come to hear some bint whinge and diatribe about her work/find a contract worries. Furthermore the bint is getting fed up with whinging and sounding like a twat. No you come for the knitting. Well knitting, it has been done. Heck with all this stress I am churning things out like crazy, and I am going to put some of it out there. Over the weekend and continued through this week I have become a sock factory, what better way becides a bleeding ulcer to internalise the stress?? I have 4 (well 5 technically) socks “on the needles,” 2 are for the same pattern/yarn. Those are the socks I believe I will finalize as my sockapatwoza socks. They are the candy cane socks… and both have leg tubes done. After that point my ADD self needed something else, so I started a pair in the Regia yarn I got a while back. The one that was NOT the color tones I expected. One sock completely done on that front. However I stopped immediately after that sock to make a pair of cancer socks. I found out that someone’s Mom was going to have a mastectomy and radiology. I don’t know her well, but she entertains the hell out of me so I emailed offering to make a hat or socks. She was all SOCKS! A stop at the Bon Marché for two balls of F*&K YOU Cancer, while I am pretty in Pink; Debbie Bliss Baby Cashmerino (Rose for those of you with less creative minds :) and an interrogation that most would have crumbled under with the nice lady, I was off and running. If I couldn’t be traveling (because I am in La-La-Limbo land over here) I could be doing good. And good I did because I have one finished quasi anklet (my first ever go at an anklet deal). The way things look now with ANOTHER weekend of waiting and the ribbing and heel flap already done. I am betting on it being done by Monday. I also started one other project, anyone care to guess?? And this ends the knitting section of this post... the universe is talking to me again (shush, better than voices in my head m'kay…) and whilst shopping for cranberry juice I saw a drink called "Chill Out." It spoke to me, I bought it and now I am going to drink it. And then go buy more, will need it for another knitfest weekend :)

Where Did My Hair Go??

Well in all sorts of bloggery goodness Tink feels the need to post. This would be otherwise known as operation stop the Tink from stepping over the edge of the over-analysis paralysis chasm about the job she interviewed for last Friday and supposedly has, or so the gossip says- Tink hasn’t heard from them officially. PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY ALREADY!! Don’t you people know that the beginning of next week when you SAID YOU WOULD TELL ME; was officially past at 2pm (generous timing for the frenchies) on Wednesday. Or alternately called keep the Tink from trying to think of the 1001 things that could be medically wrong with her and why she is feeling the dizzy and HURTY head (prequel the “Is it a tumor? It’s not a tumor” line), cause she is not feeling up to going to a Frenchie doctor in the middle of August, when all the real ones are on holiday. And not when she can’t access her social security (thanks to the two most hated words in French) to get her taxes deducted and paid for medical reimbursements. Serious all when I was on the phone with world’s coolest boss EVER today and tried to make fun of my need to store a bevy of brown paper bags under my desk to hyperventilate with and go with my pile of hair that I have been pulling out. I told him since I didn’t think I could make it as a Sinead O’Connor look a like I might have to join a <READ THIS> Nudist Bunnery… yeah I was going for Buddhist Nunnery. him he was laughing without oxygen for the next 5 minutes. So let’s distract the Tink and talk techie goods, cause the knitting is just a crazy colored sock and another almost done Daydream for another breeder friend who just reproduced- and it is not distracting enough. Techie goods info here we come: Did you know that the computer that went comatose is now back in the hands of a certain boss person who happens to be in a warranty covered (make that the only warranty covered) country?? Yes the Tink she will have the technology in a PC at home with her photos, PHOTOSHOP and data one day soon. It was only a year of financial payments in the making… This may harken a shift of the blog as I also caved and bought the right URL. But hold on to your britches I have to get it all hosted and meld my way through and over, so it is not a done deal. So in teh mean time if the hard drive cooperates with the *supposedly* fixed puter... there will be more photos! And to entertain/distract me- for the first time in the history of Tinklet’s play a game called: check the spam and googles. Starting with the spam, which as a side note before the side is started… (yeah I am antsy what of it??) I still cannot wrap my brain around the concept of spam… I mean there has to be some incentive for this action? Usually it is called marketing and people click-through. How many people click on spam? Ok I know there must be some but still… Anyways, today I came into 36 filtered spam messages. I know that isn’t a lot, but it is enough. Especially given that all the ones about penis enlargement never fail to 1. make me look down in my pants with terror, cause people each time, there is nothing there to enlarge. I have a hard enough time finding a thong to carry the balls the size of Jupiter I on occasion take around the block… I have no space for a penis. And my need for one, wants it to be attached to someone else. 2. this barrage of penis enlargement spam gives me an identity complex. My friend Jeff (who owns more shoes than me, but is NOT gay) tries to tell me in “solidarity” that he gets spam for breast enlargements all the time. To which I respond at least you have breasts! Him of ultramarathon running fame stands up in outcry screeching “NO I DO NOT.” To which I kindly point out… hey buddy those nipples, the ones you like tweaked, what the fuck do you think they are attached to?? He continues to screech, but my logic it has won and we both know it. So in today’s spam I became entertained noticing a correlation. I can’t take the glory for being the first here. Him, he is my hero and truth be told Chris does it better. But here we go on the names and the subject lines. First and most importantly- Jack Rabbit wants to talk to me about the “Gift that keeps on giving.” I am not sure which gift this is and if Jack Rabbit is a carrier… I am not sure I want it to be honest. Kim will sell me medicine for *(less*. I wonder which medicine… and how much *(less*. Placing me on the verge of calling the psychiatrist back in the states- PERMANENTLENGTH (yes all caps- like I wasn’t aware that the length is non existent… but I am not male I will not succumb to your tiny wang remedies… ) is talking to me about my Benjamin. And really I want to ask PERMANENTLENGTH (before I crack into tears) how the fuck he knows what I have named my non-existent penis?? HerbalViagra is telling Sarah (so why send me the email, my name ain’t Sarah…) that it will be up in 19 minutes… DietPills (who has VERY bad syntax and punctuation I might add…) wants me to loose weight for Ross… I don’t know any Ross. I am fragile and recovering from the “oh shit I am going to die alone and a spinster” freak out of this past week. I don’t need you to tell me about how I need to loose weight for some man I don’t know. I mean yeah I want to loose a few French cheese pounds but really to loose weight for Ross… he better be hott (you know the way Paris Hilton feels the need to write it…) and not need any emails from PERMANENTLENGTH if I am going to do that! But just in case the Benjamin needs a *erm* relationship, Churchi is willing to share the wealth of how to request a discreet “business” relationship. Pete Knaussen has sent me an email about how you can feed that relationship, a diet of pizza all year long. And for free. Though I am not sure what DietPills would think of that… But before we do any of this talking… Visa is emailing me wanting to know why her account access is limited. Fuck if I know, I don’t have a Visa nor know a Visa. Next we are going to go to the google searches. I don’t have any seriously insane ones like others that I know… maybe one day. But for now I hope that the people who came here via searches for itchy ass and face of death are sufficiently serviced. Cause I am always the face of death, especially when I have an itchy ass. And while we are at the google searches I noticed that I got 16 hits for my real life name. I don’t use it often. Not a hiding thing just eh… but the scary part is going through to the google search for just the first name. HOLY SHIT PEOPLE. ALL the porn stars and nudists are using my name!! Them and the NYC Naturist Nudists too (I wonder what they would think of a Nudist Bunnery??). But if that didn’t get you, the BDSM community in my name is willing to allow you to join in. In something that a different “Lady” using my name calls consensual reality. THAT was an eye opener. I am pretty damn sure that the person making the search that clicks through to here is going to be more disappointed than well any metaphor my linguistically challenged self can come up with. Luckily one of the sentences that people seem to be clamouring about (or at least clamouring in the second place) is fidgety person movie… SHUT IT about the crossing veins in the previous paragraph… and shut it now! Ok people I have a holiday weekend to sit and mull about not knowing about a job over. It is GREAT! Ascension where someone goes up a cloud, like POOF. Yes I am entertained that a country that prides themselves on a separation of church and state has 30% of their national holidays on religious dates. Then again I wouldn’t be making noise if I knew if I had the job or not, Id be going to the south of France. GAH. I will go be psychotic and see you all next week. Where in if they decide to tell me I don’t have this job… I will make Voodoo dolls of each of them and TORTURE THE FUCK out of them. I am sure that thought (and elaborated drawings I *may* make over the weekend) will get me through not only the pearly gates of heaven, but through the contract clauses too… Send narcotics! And Rogaine... *edited: Note I talk about spam... and I recieve my first spam comment. Dude a HUGE one too... life and technology- aint they grand*

Wow

So ummmm.... Rowan, are things going down hill that spirally fast?? Or have you just plunged into the depths of Urban (complete with drugs like Meth)?? I have just seen the new posting of on Colourway's site. (which is one annoying site given their download delay and pop ups that disapear...) And while I am trying to hold out hope (some of those photos are shite for showing anything) I am seriously being tested. The RYC things are a bit better (and I look forward to touching their new yarns too at some point). But I find I am interested in less and less of these magazines as I go. Which is kind of sad considering it was Rowan that finally made the point clear to me that I could knit things I would wear and were fashionable. Even sadder as all of Kim Hargreaves patterns which I STILL love, are in kit form only. SAD. I guess I have to thank the lords that my favorite Rowan lady will make me a copy of the pattern if I buy the yarn so if I like one thing I am not forced to waste my money getting the whole mag for one silly pattern. Cause at the same time things go down the hill, it is of course time to send the prices up the register. That said I did get my hands on a ball of RYC CashSoft (yeah for my favorite Rowan lady getting some in) and found out that Debbie Bliss should be here next month at the Bon Marché so there is something to look forward to I guess. I really liked the yarn, a lot, but it has me thinking. I spent the weekend when not vacuuming or shopping (oh good god I am weak for the hot salesman... I should have never gone to his counter. Or left with this with this in it. But I have wanted it for 2 years and am not into waiting for the white horseman either. So I guess it wasnt horrible- just less responsible than I want to be. I was supposed to get it after I secured the next contract as a congratulatory gift... let's hope this doesn't screw with my contract karma... And it looks nice too right...) swatching. I am still on the fence about the socks, which may or may not become Sockapalooza socks. I mean candycane striping?? I thing Le Fate were telling me to think about it when after working on the other leg's body I ran into a knot. I HATE that when knitting socks. So instead I swatched. I swatched three yarns this past weekend (while watching DVDs of the I love you but you are not making me feel good- Sex and the City). Thinking that I have to make something out of each of them. But I have double swatched each one (first with 3x3 ribbing for the new sweater of my dreams) and also next in stockinette to see what the yarn looks like. The first yarn in the line up is obviously the CashSoft (DK) from the spending spree that was last Saturday (see parenthetical evidence by links in above paragraph). I bought this ball of yarn with no purpose except to feel up the yarn. And I am here to tell you that while I love it... I don't see much difference between it and Debbie Bliss's Cashmerino Aran. Which by the way was swatching experiment numero dos. I am trying to see what this line is supposed to have set apart in the field of yarns and I am finding myself in want of an answer. Kind of ironic huh?? I shouldn't have really been surprised given that they have similar compositions. But you know me I am not rational, at all :) I love both and I think they are probably interchangeable for most projects, well except when financial considerations are taken into consideration. After that I stitched up some of Anny Blatt Ksar I got the weekend before last just to you know play. I am really buying too many one balls of yarn just to "play." I have swatched them and will see if one ball is enough to make a hat. I think it is enough for a basic cables hat to send to a friend. Verdict. I love the color and the yarn is HELLA soft with a lovely halo. If I didnt know better I would think there was Alpaca or Angora in it actually. But it is still kind of spendy so... I don't know if I see it in a sweaters future. Unless it somehow goes on sale or something, and then... I am ALL over it. But really Camel's hair?? Who knew... These swatches join my friendly swatch of some cursed Calmer I had lying around. Once I recover or get a contract... I will be placing an order. This order will include the rest of the yarn to finish the bloody collar on Pretty Wrappy Top, it may include yarn to make the it will be mine sweater du jour or a larger clapotis in RYC CashSoft DK, and I will get me some Calmer to finish the Shedir hat (and sooth my paranoias about said hat) and then get me some more Calmer (must pick a color...) to make me a Tivoli Tshirt like Silvia's.

Martha, Martha, Martha!

I am not Jan Brady, I am Tink… But I couldn’t resist! I mean this post is ALL about Martha, and I have taken long enough to get her up and done. Actually I have taken long enough to post period. Cause really I have all these posts in my head and neither the time nor energy to post them. Must fix that… anyways. Martha she be done! And I be very, very happy with the results. She has had her first and second outings. I have worn her to work and a bar/club (she probably preferred the bar if she is anything like her creator) and she is well on her way to becoming a wardrobe favorite. Hell I have had friends ask if I can make them one :) Anyways this is the wrap up post on my first real sweater that I have made, that I will really wear. And if you didn’t guess it, I am pleased as punch with that part of the deal. When I first started knitting, hell even today, it is less about the product and more about the actual knitting (which is the calming bit on me :) But now… now I can make things I would actually wear, moreover items that are fashionable. And that my friends is cool. What is even better is that I have an elf who work on Martha… see! I think I need to knit her an appropriate elven hat though :) Gratitude it comes in many forms! Thus without further ado… I give you Martha: Martha, Martha, Martha Project Specs: Pattern: Martha; Rowan 37 Yarn: Rowan Cotton 4ply 6 balls in the smallest size (I think the colour is Aegean- its Turquoise to me) Start: May 2005 End: July 2005 Lessons learned: First if there is a pattern repeat, and you don’t have enough to do it with at least a 1 stitch edge… don’t do it! And plan ahead on that part for when you get to the seams… Would look a bit more professional that way, me thinks. Tricks of the Trade: I learned how to pray at the altar of the NASCAR Gods and do a crocheted chain stitch for my shoulder seams (let’s hope I remember how for next time :) and how to mattress stitch! I have conqueored the mattress stitch. And to be honest, I really like mattress stitch. I also learned how to watch an elf mattress stitch my “set-in” sleeves. I mean who knew Kirs were power fuel for the seamers?? Next up- Tour de France and socks...

Changes...

Some people think of the things they want to change in their life on January 1. And they think in big drastic terms. They make a pretty list. Some even go so far as to expend money on these “resolutions.” And then they promptly forget about the whole deal 2-3 weeks later, only to look back in regret on them in December… just about that same time when the whole vicious cycle starts all over again. So as you might guess I am not a big New Year’s Resolution girl. At least not in the conventional manner… I sniff with an up turnt nose on January 1. especially at the superficial lists. Cause come on, that is exactly what most of them are. Regardless of this position I take at the beginning of the year, every year around my birthday I make an X at X list. This is a list of points for my life, equal in amount to what my age is. Creating the list is a bit on the hard side as I try to make my list actionable, measurable, accomplishable and concrete. No “I want to loose 10 lbs” vaguing up my list (even if I do want to loose 10lbs, desperately). Instead I look at it from a lifestyle perspective. Are there things in my lifestyle that I want to change, and if there are, how would I go about introducing that. Much in life is about asking the right questions and mining the data for the appropriate responses. Shit I just read that sentence and totally see how spending my days with economists is impacting me... Anyways back to the topic at hand. Thus when I sat down to really think hard about this list, I realised some may sound silly or like I intentionally set the bar on the ground. But this list went through a few different variations and prioritisations, furthered by my previous incarnation as a lawyer brain thinking it's way through each item and every word being carefully chosen. As if I was going to be taken to the Non-Compliance Court for Resolutions.

Sure I play up the numbers thing on occasion for whimsy, but since much in my life is about setting patterns and habits- which is my eternal weakness, or about the handful of things that are important but somehow always fall to the ground in the mélé of life. I composed this list as a list to be compiled of subtle reminders about what I want to create in my daily life and dreams I want to make reality. It also reflects my start easy then work towards building things up philosophy. Some are check list items (things that are one offs and just need to be done) and others are items that will follow me through the year (these are more about the habits in my life). At the end of the day, I prefer this kind of approach. Now in previous years I wouldn’t track the list through the year, and I am now realising how that sucks and they then evaporate because of that. Which kind of sets me on par with those January 1 people, but I don't want to think about that. Anyways I usually get through half of them but I loose interest after a while. So this year after much thought I would give it a go and track it here on my blog. Sound like a good idea??

Well it did to me cause unless I have something pressuring me or holding me accountable I don’t do it. Remember I am the Princess of Procrasstination, and oh yeah- I put the ASS in procrASStination. And as second grade as it sounds but when I have a check list (I am a queen list writer) and I can take that red pen and slash right through them, things get done a bit more. Yup I am the kid who now runs around saying where is my gold star bitch??? And if you are my best friend Karen you go and buy some as an excuse to slap me silly. And each time I say that you smack me on the head and say GOLD STAR, GOLD STAR. This year it is 28 at 28, not catchy but there it is. So here goes my list, I'll check back in with it on the 29th of each month. If I haven't, you all have free reign to smack me on the head and yell GOLD STAR, GOLD STAR even if I haven't asked where my star is bitch. 1. Read one classic per month, read one book in each language you read over the year, and 28 books for the year in total 2. Go to a new museum on each free first Sunday of the month 3. Drink a minimum of 1 litre of water per day 4. Spend one night a week with no TV and no DVDs and no Technology. Whole night! 5. Save money to recreate a “nest egg/safety parachute” 6. Cook a true dinner once a month 7. Try a new cuisine each month (something you normally scrunch your nose at!) 8. Take one activity class per week (pilates, ballet, dance, yoga, etc) 9. Do one physical activity (swimming, running, rock climbing, cardio at gym etc) once a week 10. Run a half Marathon 11. Eat vegetables (i.e. a vegetable for the month eaten once a week) 12. Make a monthly contribution to a charity 13. Start “learning” Spanish 14. Visit two regions in France and at least one vineyard, plus one new country 15. Get my grandfather’s birth certificate 16. Take a scuba diving course 17. Learn about and read the texts of one of the major world religions 18. Finish my knitting projects 19. Go to one Opera and one Ballet at Garnier 20. Take a photo daily 21. Floss weekly 22. DECLUTTER 23. STUDY my ass off and take the GREs (while you are at it, get a ROCKING score too) 24. Make your home more yours (decoration etc) 25. Cultivate a bit of garden on your window 26. Get a website up and going 27. Keep the dishes done nightly 28. Relax and fill this one in later when it comes to you :)

And we are off and running

RAOKs RAOK

So I finally trekked my ass down to the Poste this week, as I have an avis de colis that I received last week. I swear I am so horrible about the Poste it is not even funny. And really there is no justification for it. Slight grump anyways though: our set of post boxes has a box for “oversized” packages. Nothing huge, but almost every package I have to schlep to get (sleep is precious in the am and I work till when they close so this makes for real FUN) would fit in that box. I am going to send someone a piece of my mind on that soon! Anyways I digress and digression over kindness is petty. And this is kindness that has irony cause I got a lovely RAOK. So let's talk about the office why don’t we? Many an entertaining thing happens here and really sometimes I have to laugh, cause if not well I might get violent yo. Today, thanks to my ever so kind neighbours arguing at the top of their lungs at 6am- and serious I sleep like a rock so waking me up is a feat to admire, admire while PISSED but admire nonetheless, I woke up. Amazing how that happens non? So I get my ass together and head to the post office to pick up the package. Turns out I have a box that would EASILY fit in the “oversized” box, but hey I have it now so let’s save the bitching for a still moving target. Now I am obviously doing this on the way into work, so I don’t rip it open with my bare hands I wait till I get to the office. I walk in and as part of my establish a habit week (tm) I immediately go to get my bottle to fill it with water. Guess what I notice folks?? That is right my friends, my water bottle is stolen AGAIN. THIEF… So I go and get a new bottle thinking to myself of the many ways I will mutilate this man, cause he is going DOWN. The ripe (and by ripe I mean I smell him for the next 10 minutes after he just walks in to get the garbage…) SOB is going to get it. And this poor box I just got, it totally is taking the initial brunt. I get my sharp objects and stab and slash to open in. HA take that cardboard… And once I open it I find that it is packaged lovely with pretty tissue paper and cute purple packing squiggles. So I get the card out and this ironic and LOVELY RAOK was sent to me by Miss Elizabeth. I cant thank you enough. I LOVE IT. Though just to give it that final cliché of irony, when he came in to clean last night... my card disappeared. Irony don't it just ring your bell??

Do you see this Mr. Thief??? You even THINK about touching this kick ass bottle and I will CUT YOU.

So Mr. THIEF, why don’t you do me a favour and go talk with your entertaining friend who loads the toilet paper in our bathrooms. Cause I am EVER entertained by the backwards dispenser that only gives me one measly sheet, at a time, of your one ply thinner than tissue paper to wipe my ass with. Soooo fucking funny. And while you are at it... have a conference call with the construction people that took over the toilets for 2 weeks of renovation. You call this fixing the toilets?? I listened to jackhammers and did the patented "I got to go pee-pee yeah you know me" dance for THIS?? You took my “holy shit there is a toilet with water in it” and replaced it with one that is all about saving the whales, and I am supposed to think of this as an improvement? I mean I am all for saving the whales, but I have had enough of the skid marks and the disappearing shit brush act (note in Europe toilets are not full of water and there for there is a brush at the side of the toilet for... well you get the picture). Get your acts together, before I go janitorial on you.

Until then though, I am going to keep knitting these socks and try to decide if the candy cane spiral striping is annoying me or not.

Phildar... Oh Phildar

Why doth thou forsaketh me?? I cometh unto you despite thy higheth acrylic content. I cometh to give thee my money. Is it because I speaketh to you in yee old English?? Cause seriously I searcheth the reason. Every time I grab a little bit of faith or extend the good will Phildar goes and shatters it. Yesterday I decided I was going to check the soldes at my Phildar boutique. I know I am bad I did not check the soldes at the yarn stores when they started…I shall repent my sins, once Phildar doth stopeth fucking around with me. Each time I go into that boutique I go in search of classic colors. And each time like the ultimate karmic flip of the bird to the knitting gods I must have inadvertently committed, these classic colours are discontinued. Now this is not a Phildar thing (Rowan discontinued mon Amour and really I think that merits a yarn penalty – where in the person who made that decision is deprived of his/her yarn) but given that they discontinued Pretty Wrappy Tops Kaki colour and what I found out today, proportionately they are winning the battle. By the time I got to the store there really wasn’t anything on solde worth looking at. Much of it was crazy variegated colours of Plaisance and some yarns I would never use. So I didn’t dig past the one bag I should have. Instead I go look at the not on sale yarns. I am intrigued by one called Beaugency, but not enough to buy it. I look at patterns and I fall in LOVE with this one. Oh yes… it WILL be mine! (I am thinking either in Chamonix if a certain someone can find me some and the price and colour is right, that or the new RYC line/Debbie Bliss Cashmerino). But right before I leave I decide to take one last glance at the solde bags of yarn. And you know what I find? A bag of cotton microfibres that is in a lovely chocolate-plummy colour. Ahhhh for15 euros you will be mine, even if I have never knit in cotton microfibres. Oops maybe not, that lady got to it first and she had just put it aside… That is the sound of me deflating. I ask if they have more, and my nice Phildar lady comments that no it is discontinued (along with the lovely plum muscat purple colour of Aviso I wanted to get to make Smooch in). WHAT, for the love of all the colour gods this is a classic colour. FUCK, oh well I didn’t have a project for it… *WAIT* she checked the Usine, and if I want it they have it there. I the anti-stash girl posessing NO idea what to make with this yarn say yes. I bought 10 skeins for 15 euros of chocolat cotton micro fibres. Why? Because chocolat is a color that is to be kept. It is a basic color and I will figure out something to make. Really they are lucky that their collections automne had this in it and I really really want to make it. Otherwise I might just have given up the ghost on Phildar...

Whew… It Is Friday and I Managed To Survive

I have a long weekend ahead of me with many things to do and prepping for an interview cycle. My contract is up at the end of August and Mama has to find another. Luckily she has an interview for a post she really wants on Tuesday. Theoretically since I am on the inside it should be easier. But theory doesn’t always work in life and me… I only need inhale to start making up paranoid scenarios. Here Chez Tink, until things are resolved and in writing or my passport, we think you are full of it, have visualised 12 worst-case scenarios and believe NOTHING. Anyways, I leave that psychosis in the rainforest I brought home to prep for that interview, now residing on the table already covered in papers I need to go through. Friday is my relax and plan evening. So after I made it through the day, after I made it home and ate dinner, I sat myself in front of the fan and I said WHEEE I have Rebecca Magazines!!! All is good… well kind of. The observant among you will notice my initial reaction to Friday knit night, was to put Mon Amour (Shedir) aside. This is the result of my piques of panic that are occurring more and more often. I have this much yarn left and I have 428 stitches to knit. And I am feeling queasy that there will not be enough to finish. I have already done a lot of cabling, and I am not a happy cable ripper. It is a discontinued colour and this is all I have… thus running out is not a good thing. The only option I will have is to rip the whole bugger back and try to recuperate 128 stitches by reducing the pattern dictated 9 rows of ribbing to make it 8. After that, don’t ask because my thought pattern refuses to go further. Chez Tink, we don’t face up to these kind of things on a Friday night. So I immediately throw myself into the Rebecca magazines. I look at the Summer one and I see three patterns I am thinking of making, imperative word is thinking- but we’ll get back to that. At this point after looking at pictures and making glances but not readings of patterns, I decide since I have that pretty raspberry yarn Polly convinced me I must purchase (what? it needed a nice home and my flat doesn’t have much yarn) would make a lovely wrappy top that everyone has been making. I tried on Jackie’s when she was here and I know that it is lovely so I zone in. I find that pattern and I realise my gauge, as I like this yarn knit (remember people I like bitsy needles and high numbers) it is TIGHT. Like twice as tight as the suggested gauge. Oh the glory of having to approach the maths. Internets we know how much I like the maths. So much that after a few kirs in me I tell my cute but full of his economist self Polish coworker that him and his economic models are dry as buffalo shit ready to use for the fire and he can take his calculus elsewhere. I know it and I couldn’t give a flying fuck. (Yeah I make great impressions- then again he was kicking on Political Scientists. Which given that I am one, how often he has read one and his lack of ever taking a class is a bit more than judgementally hypocritical and fucks with his assumptions and models to boot… but I digress) Back to the gauge… I don’t know if want that loose of a gauge in this yarn. But that is well and truly secondary. *GASP* the gauge… how can that be secondary?? Gauge is what ensures your pattern resulting in the model that you see. Don’t you know, every pattern tells you so. I’ll tell you how (says the not-so-brown cow). Because oh good god. I don’t speak English (admittedly this comes as no surprise to my coworkers or anyone who has read my writing, but it does shake me a bit. I am delusional, and a lost case). I mean what the fuck is a welt… I always thought it was the point where your bruise becomes a big fluid bump on you… and I don’t want one of those on my knitting thankyouverymuch. Worse, I cannot read. Nope those letter combinations make utterly NO sense to me, what.so.ever. People I am going to need to relocate to a gite on a vineyard to get me through all these “readings” so that I can attempt to make this top (god help me should I approach the lovely top Sharyln just finished- which ironically is the pattern that finally pushed me over the GET IT NOW edge from my permanent residence in Procrasstination Village). It takes me 4 reads and playing with numbers to understand that edge st. is a pattern-included selvedge… Note, I have never said I was quick on the uptake. Then I am left to make all sorts of guesses, like whether the gauge swatch should be in StSt. Cause they make no other reference. And this pattern has a flower on it cause it is for beginners... Yo Rebecca- thanks for the confidence boost! Things are looking so good I decide me and my newly opened wine bottle, we are going to read the introduction page. I mean this magazine is nice like that, it isn’t just an insert of the patterns in English the whole deal is in English. No articles but an intro page will do when you are drinking straight from the bottle due to a pattern. After reading for a few seconds I note that they make a comment that this issue is a typically Rebecca issue with precise instructions. This is where you can insert me laughing HYSTERICALLY… dude you people leave so much to assumption that if I didn’t know better I would be sure the Pope told you himself to start knitting up the Jesuses and set up a knitting booth at St. Pietro’s Piazza for Assumption next month. That or you are mooning the Pope (cause you know to assume makes an ass out of you and me; and ass who gets Assumption as a holiday, but ass nonetheless) In the end I said fuck it, and decided I would blog about it. I figure I have learned (besides that being illiterate and linguistically challenged) that I REALLY REALLY like Rowan patterns and the way they are written. I can read them. They have their faults (Bueller where are the schematics? Are they that painful to create?? I’ll help you), but I never feel illiterate. Two, I only know how to read certain kinds of patterns with ease. There are 101 ways to write them and I am not always successful in understanding them. And like Phildar, even though this magazine is in English. And three, I have a feeling that a learning curve is dead ahead of me. Bring on the vino! Now I am off to plan the rest of this weekend that could kill me, that could be one great big flat on my ass failure (in terms of getting errands done), and that totally should kill me for next week. Thank god everyone will be leaving town soon.

The Deafening…

I know for all this silence you are just overwhelmed… yeah so I am old(er) and I can do the sarcasm more now. Anyways… I am in recovery mode. I am totally drained out (serious 7 people over the past 3 weeks. I love every last one of you to the itty bitty marrow of my bones, but I slept 30 hours these past three “nights” to catch up) So for now you get the run down, not much but here it is. One day I will be a good blogger again, but not today (links tomorrow). I love my favorite scruffy Italian, he makes my day. He brings me wine and speaks to me in the Italian as we walk through the festival of lights, and he feels it is safe enough to bring me to an all Italian friends evening. That, that is something! (Don’t you think languages sound better when they become the Language… ok it’s just me). He will bring me more wine when he moves back to Paris this Fall… how I love thee my favorite scruffy Italian let me count the ways :) Then I had my English (not British thank you very much, this is not a visa application) friend in town. That was fun cause I played tour guide. I like doing that, showing people “my” Paris and making shit up when I don’t know the answers. I dragged the boy to the Soldes, got me some odd balls of yarn cause in all sincerity the Bone Marché Soldes are CRAP (but I did get cool plates and the grocery store is Mecca. I got digestives- which I love and CRANBERRY JUICE for less than 4€ a liter- HEAVEN, I am in HEAVEN). My score, I got some Alpaca Silk to test out for Frieda this Fall and Calmer in the LOVELY colour Amour. If I ever meet the person at Rowan who thought that it was a smart idea to discontinue that colour (you know the one that Audrey was photo’d in…) I will harm them. I lurve that color. If you know where I can find it and tell me in secret you too will become my next new love Anyways next up… in which Tink has a birthday and she is totally stoked cause all you people came by and said happy birthday. Tink goes totally AWOL and uninteresting and you… you all still say happy birthday. You ROCK. After that and the very pretty flowers Tink had a super secret meeting, where in she darted the rain and stayed in a yarn store WAY toooooo long. I met up with the one and only adorable and ever so lovely Polly. And we met at the Anny Blatt+ store in the Marais. The sales there- them be a much better idea than the Bon Marché! Still NOT SHOWING Kate joined us and we avoided the rain that was BUCKETING on us staying in the store till it closed. So *erm* yes I bought yarn (I have subsequently bought patterns too). I bought some Kid Mohair yarn (for the Rebecca Wrap Cardi- but I am also now thinking of it for other projects) and some Kidsilk like yarn for a rectangular Birch, which loosens up the Kidsilk I have for Paisely). And this was where I found out that Kate, her is leaving me… I don’t know if I will forgive Canada for this one (as happy as I am for her). After Yakinikudon (where in I astound Polly with the amount of a salt lick I am. I have four words for you- Bring On the Soy Sauce (OK its five but I am not counting the ok…)) we walked past some of the filming for the Da Vinci Code and sent a tired and adorable Kate home. Then we wandered and walked our way up to my quartier which it turns out was Polly’s too!!! And this is where her description of our evening goes to hell in a hand basket. I was a gab fest on her and she just listened talked and totally put up with me (which I think qualifies her for beatification through the new Catholic Church procedures). Astounds that Polly does, adore her I do (do I sound like Yoda today to anyone else besides myself???). But as much as she would like to make it sound like it was all just civilised and gracious (seriously I am the least of anything on this planet to a southern belle!), I put that girl to work. It started out with a pretense of me being interested and watching her seam up my Martha sleeves so that I could learn and the same for an abandoned FO called DayDream (baby sweater for a baby it will NOT fit any more good thing all you other breeders are reproducing for me in waves). It finished with her handing me Martha seamed up perfectly and the same for DayDream. Welcome to Tink’s Workshop factory :) For a Kir you too can work at my finishing party on the Place Contrescarpe till past your bedtime. After Polly headed back to London, my favorite skinny Italian showed up. Oh and how I love my favorite skinny Italian. Him he won my heart- he brought me truffle oil. Oh that boy he KNOWS how to push and tease this girls buttons. I hadn’t seen him in a while and suffice to say there was so much catching up and going out that over the 5 nights he was in town I didn’t go to bed before 3am once. I love that boy though and we… we did not do much strenuous stuff but walk (where in Tink gets a sunburn- you too can look at your décolletage and say SHIT I am a LOBSTER) watched a movie (Tink LOVES Les Poupees Russe!!!) went to Beauborg (ahhh yes my favorite skinny Italian is a PhD student in film and cinematography and he can explain the modern art to me in Italian (when we want NO ONE to think we can be like those Abercrummie and Bitch kids that really are so FUCKING LOUD AND STUPID that even my mangled Italian sounds better than THAT). We also go out for drinks and then eat at my all time favorite restaurant in town. Oh Chez Omar how I love your sauce au poivre. But it couldn’t end there… no our weak to peer pressure girl comes to the rescue. See the last week was work week from Hades. We had major meetings for 2 days and so each of those nights we went out afterwards as we did for the usual TGIF deal our division does on Fridays. Did I mention that one I didn’t get home any of those nights before 1:30am and 2. Dear god when will I learn my lesson… restroom before leaving ANY restaurant. Your bladder and the people watching you dance on the métro will thank you. Anyways so now you have a slight idea about why I slept 30 hours and did NOTHING (especially of the list I have of things I need to do like ummm laundry and groceries). I managed though to keep slightly too my promise to Polly. She wants to see Martha finished, and so do I… But JEBUS picking up all those stitches with tiny pointy needles it makes the Tink fingers *CRY*. So what does any (ir)rational knitter do when she has two projects lovely and almost finished?? She starts a new one. I first swatched some of my yarns, and then I thought good and hard about some of them. And then I wished that those two Rebecca Magazines I cracked and got were HERE… NOW. Cause I wanted to start something else but instead I broke out the Calmer and since I could only find one measly ball of Amour (which really I am in amour with Amour) I started it into the Shedir hat. I got through all the ribbing and two of the initial cable pattern repeats after casting on yesterday. Yup so now you are all up to date and once I can get my battery charger for the camera to work I can show you pictures of the elf at work and of the Shedir (I am damn proud of those cables) and the Martha cause I have a photo where in all she needs is a neck band (and me I need that sheet of the pattern and steel finger protectors). Bises!!

Her Done Been Topped

The Birfday Fairy is seriously out of her league. She has been found wanting... and me I have been found with lovely flowers thanks to a lovely person, older with wrinkles from my patented scrunchie face, a glass of champagne (thanks to a coworker) and smiling. Let the New Year begin!

I'm OK, You're OK, We Are All OK

Except for those French Bureaucratic Asshats. Them they are NOT OK... But dialing down the crazy over here, yes I am taking it down a notch. I will survive (even though my life seems to be a musical about what all is going wrong right now :) No more worries, no more bitching or at least not for today. Boss is a definite keeper. He left me alone for most of the afternoon and then made me laugh by sticking his head in my office at the end of the day saying “umm is it safe for me to come in.” Doesn’t sound funny when typing it, but to have a BIG TALL Lebanese man act like he is truly frightened of you, well it made me giggle. We will talk and start the “deal with this” segment of life later this week when I am not so raw or under pressure packed deadlines. Then he and other coworkers made sure that when out for drinks I had Kir Royales not plain Kirs as normal for my apéro, and then paid for them. And at dinner they made sure every time I took a sip of my wine that the glass got refilled. Needless to say I got enough alcohol in me to loosen even my “wound tighter than a 36 hour clock” ass up a bit. Then we all went dancing Friday night so that I could to forget the fucking French jackholes and their god damn hoops of fire. (yes I know calling them names does not win me karma kitty points but I am still raw) To add to mission dial downward, the weekend was gorgeous. I managed to get most of my errands done, and then got cheesy bread. Cheese can cure just about everything- had your leg amputated, here have some camembert; kidney stopped functioning, have a wheel of gouda. Feeling like shit thanks to French préfecture twats- have a hunk of parmegianno regianno to go with that pasta and some cheesy bread and you will feel better. My favorite scruffy Italian was in town and we hung out, had Italian night (where in english was not spoken and my brain just about imploded on itself again) and walked the Festival of Lights night, that helped immensely. Sunday I did nothing but lay in bed and re-read Pride and Prejudice. I spent too much time on my feet in heels therefore I laid down with the sun shining it put my feet up and pointed the fan straight at me. Call it soul healing for the battered and bruised. And for the record- THANK YOU for all the nice comments and good wishes. Even better last night I finally picked up the knitting again. I don’t know if I was too stressed or what but I didn’t want to touch anything. It was very odd- but last night there was a break through I picked up my trekking XXL sock. I turned the heel and picked up the gusset. And now I can start looking for patterns and yarns to make my Sockapalooza pal’s socks! I think I need to get some of the past couple of IK issues sock patterns (go with the flow and retro rib come to mind) cause I have been loving them!

Where is my Hammer?

Oh the joys! You know I am ready to nail my own damn ass to the cross of French bureaucracy. To say this morning didn’t go well, that is like saying that the Titanic was a minor boating mishap. My morning went as follows: Wake up at God o’clock. Say FUCK cause at that hour of the morning I have Tourettes Syndrome. Lay there thinking to self that my two most hated words in the French language are carte de séjour ("de" is an ok word in my book though). Frump about as crappy phone and phones crap no power battery mean there are no morning texts to wake me up with a smile. (dippy the shit stick here left the charger at work) Say FUCK again, you know the Tourettes kicking in. Get out of bed and get ready, note the memo- Tink should not dress herself in the mornings… If she should ever think that she can, you are all implored to remind her that she cannot. Put the crown of thorns on… check! Look through things to see if you have everything (and I MEAN EVERYTHING) Drink your last bit of milk and … Check papers again. Step out door to be on the way to hell (or prefecture whatever you want to call it) Go back in and check everything again. Take métro to prefecture am there an hour early. Go me. Say HOLY FUCK out loud, line is already AROUND the building. Go look at buildings hours. Doors open at 9am Look at convocation… my appointment is at 8:45am WTF??? Wait in line and start reading Pride and Prejudice (you’d fuck up the socks at this hour in the morning) Get lost in clusterfuck of a préfecture from hell. Say FUCK. Cause if it isn't the being lost it is the Tourettes. Find office and give them your papers And the sit and wait for your turn to be called out. Watch people before you be dealt with. Watch people after you be dealt with. Mutter FUCK and this is not right, repeatedly. Wait two full hours before asking the lady who took my papers if this was normal. Call lady a bitch under your breath after she snaps at you for no good reason. Sit back down and have other people waiting notice that they are going ahead of me and lady sitting next to me shout how it is bullshit. I should start screaming she says… Am PISSED as I have now just missed my waxing appointment that is in dire need! FUCK!!! That sucks. Hear one of the lady’s say to the others they have now worked up to taking the 9:40 appointments. Again my appointment was at 8: 45… It is in fact 11:50 WHAT THE FUCK!!! FUCK THAT. Go to a nicer looking lady who is doing nothing… ask her if this is normal. Get bureaucratic confirmation that I am not normal (LIKE I needed THAT) She tells me that my papers I handed the reception lady are now lost. Hole in head, where are you??? I NEEEED YOOOOOUUU!!!!! Nice lady says she will help me after she deals with her next person. Next person takes and hour to deal with... FUCK Listen, do you hear that... my stomach is growling loud enough for the third world tapestry lady sitting next to me to think she should put her hand on my stomach and her other hand to her mouth. Sign language it makes the world go round. Great I am hungry and it is almost lunch time. FUCK I am going to be late getting into work… Nice lady calls me over. She looks at my contract, looks at my papers, looks at my visa… Then she says no you don’t have the right to a carte de séjour. We go back and forth a bit about this and my visa (a student one but one that looks like a tourist one and the fact that working for an international organisation does in fact give me this right) She says she can't do anything but give me another appointment. Oh yeah and the person who told me I couldn’t leave the country until this meeting was wrong. But now… Now I can't leave the country. She gives me an appointment at the end of August (after the current (but most likely will be extended) contract is over) FUCK. Is this shit supposed to be entertaining. I mean I am laughing but is it funny?? NO. Those are not tears of laughter backing up my eye ducts. Note this means I pay my sécu taxes but cannot access the system. DUDE I need to go to the doctor, I need to do my annual checks, I need to get my teeth filled with white plastic! Theoretically I am to be covered retroactively. My trust in things like this though is built on quicksand. I break the number one rule in France, I ask for the boss’s name. I walk out of Bureau Six shaky and eyes welling up cause I do NOT know if I can keep doing this. Is someone trying to send me a signal?? Take métro to office and am pressed up like a sardine next to a person even I want a space bubble from. Go to get money out of the ATM, ATM rejects card. I KNOW there is money in there, lots actually I have to make a nataional debt payment on Monday, but today there is money in there. Almost cry again and chide self for being stupid and crying over rejection from an ATM... Get a sandwich finally as métro ride involved dizziness from no food and long ass fuck off wait. Sit in office and tell people not to talk to me and not to pay any attention to me. Think to self OK this sucks but you can get through today without crying in the office by looking forward to dinner at your favorite restaurant tonight for coworkers going away. Open email, they changed the restaurant. FUUUUUUUCCCK, I don’t want to go to crappy Italian and I am already committed. Stupid shits who want to go to chi-chi places and cant get up off their asses to go out somewhere besides the every time place. FUUUUUUUCCCK Y’all (and I hate that word for the record) I am bruised and battered. We arent talking pink, we are talking all kinds of shades of purple to blue to black. Try to find way to get spirits up so that 1. New boy doesn’t think I am more insane than I have already given cause to believe and 2. So that friend visiting this weekend doesn’t think I am more insane than he already knows me to be. Again… with the bruised and battered- THAT is me. Want to crawl up under my desk in the fetal position with a bottle of vodka, cause really I want to be here and am starting to wonder if this isn’t something trying to tell me that I am not meant to be here. That thought tramples out a little corner of my soul every time it appears… my soul is not ever inflatible. Oh yeah and I get older in 2 weeks and my birthday gift, it is not a trip like I hoped (though I haev a very nice visitor coming in next week that kind of makes up for that), not an IPod Shuffle like I thought, nope it is fumigation. Birfday Fairy didn't read the memo that she need not sprinkle dust on me this year. Dumb Bitch, hope she rots in hell. Yeah so ummm if you were looking for rainbows and puppies- they don’t live here. Sorry, will try to post something more positive on Monday.

Oh Father I Have Sinned

It has been a while since I last blogged any knitting content of substance…I know I have said it before but it really is true. Life is taking me over like a 4 plow tractor. And in all honesty I don’t think I have knit a stitch in a week… I have been flirting with a new boy, I have been dealing with defumigating (which is seemingly working but let’s give it a bit longer before we all start rejoicing, cause I am still not so sure on it and dont need to jinx it), I have been working like a dog, I have been trying to catch up on sleep which my body is thoroughly against (me I am against it waking me up at 4 fucking am!), I am prepping for the Visit Tink SPREE 2005 (serious I have 6 visitors over the next 3 weeks…) I have in short had my world spinning around me saying WHHEEEEE. It has been a balanced WHHEEEEE but still ass over teakettle I go. I mean I didn’t even know about the international knit in public day (and I was on a much needed shoe hunt and Japanese food trip, therefore I was a loser on that front). I also need to finish up and post about the Paris visitors, well before I have another special one!! PROMISE I will get that email up! So there is my grand apology, I am going to try and set those sleeves on Martha and then I’ll see what sings to me next- worst case I have a sock I can work on :) And I am in Sockapalooza 2!! Many thanks in advance for your tolerance. I'll do my best to entertain again at one point, when I have eaten something besides a fig Newton lunch.

It’s like they said…

Once I learn something I am possessed by it. I learned at the feet of the Goddess herself with the observance of the great Nascar Gods. People I now know how to mattress stitch! And I will forever thank Bonne Marie (and wish I had asked about setting in sleeves- good thing I have another resource here in town to bribe :) I am master of my seaming and I couldn’t be happier since I don’t see my seam! And if you do I don’t want to hear about it! (You kind of can but that is because I screwed up on the pattern not the seam!) And that means I have a fully seamed Martha (and am even seaming Pretty Wrappy Top and Fern, but mohair seaming when it is warm goes on the back burner). Now to learn how to set the sleeves cause I really do want to wear Martha here soon. And since I am trying to keep money slightly tighter to my pocketbook or more appropriately that national debt that graduate school incurred, and Summer is SUPPOSED to make an appearance for longer than 3 days; I thought hey self let’s try one of those croppy top things popping up all over. That Boobholder pattern looks perfect… Oh. Wait. Who the fuck wears wool that is 3.25 stitches per inch in summer?? Hmmm… Probably that same lady who assaulted my eyes on the métro free balling without a license in a low cut halter tank top with mid bicep gauntlets in BRIGHT ASS pink. But for the record… 1-2-3 Not Me! Never fear though I am brave and spineless, I wouldn’t let something like yarn gauge dissuade me when there is wine. So I sat down with the pattern and … started to search for my bottle of wine immediately (that is right forget the glass I want the bottle). It is somewhat vague on certain things and I could not make heads or tails of it. Even worse since I had to have a calculator out to try and change numbers, yeah brain about to self implode. But I am no quitter, no! I am an Olympic Gold Medalist in the Stud Game. I continue on and preservere against all odds and French bureaucrats. But I have to say top down patterns just do not look right on paper, not.at.all. But I had a ball of Phildar Aviso to try and off I went. After you get started and blindly follow, making up other bits on your own; you start to see how it works and you no longer totally freak. Except for ripping it all out because you didn’t change numbers and this thing is only going to fit a Cabbage Patch Kid. So I got myself committed and started over. That meant I needed to go buy yarn. I also decided if I was going to do one I was going to do the other so to the Bon Marché I went. I bought me a Chibi, it’s not pink but it will have to do for now. I also got myself some small clover stitch holders, I found the color I would love to make a croppy top in with Rowan Handknit Cotton to try out and of course more Aviso. Then there was a makeup make over courtesy of the International Artistic Director for Stila who grabbed me as I walked by, followed by shopping on the rue Cherche du Midi with a stop at my favorite boulanger- Poilane for bread to go with my cheese at home. And walking I home through the Luxembourg Jardins I go… Once home I clean up and get down to business- watching a movie and knitting this thing. Oh dear god… it looks like a tiny and quick knit non? Even at a HUGE feeling 4 stitches per inch I see my life passing before my eyes and it is NOT growing… But I still in my delusional state think I can somehow manage to finish in time to wear on Monday when if the weather keeps up it will be cold and not really wearable. I am clearly high on something! Something that really ought to make my fingers stop hurting, but it doesn’t. Emma see these? They are beee-ouu-ti-ful and I am using them. I can’t make that turtleneck shrug in Merlot Cork yet, which with the weather we have been having I would put to good use, but I can use the stitch holders. And this time using them doesn’t make me batty. Between them and my Denise needles (oh thank Bloody Dog for those Denise needles- the Aviso does NOT like to slide round the loop and is slightly splitty but I can switch loops and insert a really long one to try it on! If it weren’t for Denise needles I might have given up a long time ago.) I am getting somewhere but not where enough fast enough for my liking. Thank god for the French Open Finals and the Matrix otherwise I would have totally given up. But persist I did and what do you know if I didn’t finish it! After I finished I saw things I might want to do differently. But it would involve LOTS of ripping out and I wasn’t up for that. So hey it isn’t perfect, I will live it was cheap since I used Phildar. I decided I like Aviso (especially as a substitute for Rowan’s All Seasons Cotton), and we will see how it holds up with this trial. If it holds well I will use it again (though I wish they did better on colors!). Additionally there are modifications if I make it again. First I might want finer gauge; I know I just bitched and groaned about how I thought it took forever with a thicker yarn but finer might look a bit more polished and sophisticated for work… Turns out even though I tried it on I couldn’t tell the sleeves deal and I think I should have started the body rounds one or two rows earlier. Also I think rather than do decrease rounds on the sleeves (which I brought out the DPN’s for and did in the round) I will decrease when they are part of those rows that NEVER END. I also think I needed to start the V earlier. And if I decided to do the button I would need to remember that, as the pattern says nothing about button or buttonhole except to attach a button. I think I am an intermediate knitter but I am also a ditzy intermediate knitter. And if I get brave I may try to incorporate a different neckline. For all its annoyances this experience taught me lots. And at 14 euros I think it was worth it. I learned top down construction with the raglan increases, which forced me to learn the right way to do a strand/M1 increase (instead of a pinhole increase). And I actually like this design style. Well except for the casting off bit, cause it is very obvious and I need to test out other ways to find one that works better and lies flat. It gave me ideas for my own croppy wrappy top that I have been playing around with design-wise. So a quick rundown on the specs for an FO!!! Dressy or Casual Pattern: Mini Sweater / Boobholder by Glampyre Yarn: Phildar Aviso in Black (4 balls/about 300yds) Gauge: 16 stitches x 28 rows (and you do have to take that bitch row gauge into account here or you are going to be off) Modifications: Change in gauge. Sleeves done in round. Started June 3, 2005 Finished June 6, 2005

How brilliant am I???

Nevermind. Don’t answer that. Yes you in the back, I said shut it or I throw the frying pan to hit you in between the eyes. I thought I was going to have this BRILLIANT post about how I met and absolutely fell in love with Jackie and Bonne Marie this past week/weekend and had a lovely time with all at the KIP and at dinner with Kate. How Bonne Marie cleared things up for me and said my knitting was lovely. I had a pictorial all ready to go with some pretty damn impressive shit if I do say so myself. It was glorious news. I even thought about writing about all the crazy things happening here in France. But no that news report has been interrupted by the breaking news of OHHHHH FUCK! That brilliant reporting will have to wait till tomorrow. So the Harlot had a household go at Ikea; me I have nothing against Sweden (despite their transport gods, actually it is to the contrary of that as a friend just made a brilliant set up with someone in Sweden) but the French it is another story. Let me fucking tell you. I live in an old building, not Miami built in 1950 old, but OLD. Yes I pay to live in a building that Napoleon’s Josephine lived in old. Poutres (i.e. ceiling beams) that look like the termites have had a serious go at them, but in Paris poutres are a serious deal both price and marketing wise, old. Old buildings have their character, quirks and pains in the ass. And in the endless fucking rigamarole with these fucking Yahoo’s; the people that are the “syndicat” for the building fucked up on the insect care for this year. As you might guess in an old building with restaurants on ground floor this is a wee bit of an issue. So of course you know that my flat has been invaded and infiltrated by a not so fucking nice bug. A very not so fucking nice bug that is FUCKALL to get rid of; though my landlord is not so sure about the bug being as nasty as I said. Everything I read in French is blaisé so he says what is so bad… Are you fucking kidding me?? In English it says burn the fucking building down. And given what I know, I agree with the English version. Yeah can’t be no ordinary run of the mill coackroach or fleas for Tink… So I screamed and flailed to my landlord to the point that I at least got the futon, where I think they shifted from the wall and infested thus “piquing” me- forcing me to sleep on the floor (trust me I am not pleasant in the morning, after sleeping on concrete I am even less so), replaced. That was 2-3 weeks ago. It looked good, I thought hey maybe they aren’t in residence in the carpet etc. They are gone, WHEW. Crisis averted, enjoy summer. Hold on. NOT.SO.FAST. Yeah let’s shoot that dream down with a b-b gun for Chrismas. I am paranoid and with good reason as today I am bitten again and see another bug; my first thought was FUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKK NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. The second one was fuck Buddhism for the next minute I am KILLING this fucker, and I will take pleasure in that act. Then we proceeded to think about the possibilities of burning the fuckers. Insert visions of bug families bloody burning in the dryer’s inferno. Launch brilliant multi-tasking idea. Note to self NEVER try multi-tasking EVER again; it leads to you making fuck ups so that you look like an ass and cost you dearly. I had to do laundry so I stripped off the futon cover and shoved it in a dryer for an hour, shifting it around so that all parts would get enough heat to kill all the babies. Yup Chez Tink we want to kill babies, baby bugs that is. UMMMM yeah and that would be when the grand fuck up happened my friends. It turns out futon cover must be made of some French version of shrinky-dink plastic techno fabric. Can you guess where this is going??? Come now I know you are all smart people guess… Don’t worry I’ll wait for you to come to the conclusion. . . Yes my friends I have irreversibly shrunk the crap cover to this new futon. Repeat after me- FUCKTASTIC. I tried ripping some of the internal bits to make it stretch more. Nope that does not work, and not only did it shrink but it is bunched all the fuck up. Big clumps of plASStick bunching together to the point that the fucking fabric does not lay flat clumped up. Do you notice the LIBERAL use of the work FUCK. That is because of this fucking syndicat not spraying for bugs; and not doing so since I proved to my landlord that it was in fucking fact the not so fucking nice bug I told him it was; the one that has fucking crawled up my ass and made me fucking dance monkey dance; now I am going to have to call my landlord on this AGAIN and replace this fucking crap futon cover. Don’t you know my Irish genetics will kick in and it will cost an OBNOXIOUS sum to replace too... There goes the yarn and birthday pressie money, but consolation, I am still in France and ummmm... oh yeah the exchange rate is going down in response to EU Constitutional votes. So in short there is only one word for today. FUCK!

Do Me a Favor

And go congratulate Kate. At the top of your lungs- CONGRATULATIONS KATE!!!! I have been itching to do so publically since she burst and told me last week that she made the COVER (on the front people!!) with her IK debut. Thanks to Jessica you can see it in the preview here. It is a lovely sweater, in alpaca (you know that is one of the ways to my heart) and she deserves all the kudos you can send. Two other posts in the working (and now that I remembered my USB key today there will be the whine and wine post later on, but this one it stays at the top :)

A Personal Letter Addressed To:

Dear Office Cleaning Man, I see you, YES YOU. I know that you come in here twice in the evening and people even say you are around here in the morning. I would not know because at those uncivilized hours I am still trying to bunny hop someone in my dreams. But I know this to be fact because after you leave I put more garbage in my bin, cause woooo hooooo- I AM STILL HERE, and it is gone in the morning. More importantly I know this because things move on my desk. Sure I believe (well kinda) in some form of supernatural (vague that up a bit more please…) but them they have a life, they do not move my phone so that it traps my keyboard and mouse cords thus making me twitch in the morning. If they did that they would want to be here and watch my ass twitch. NO I KNOW it is you. I also know you are a thief. That is right I am calling you a THIEF! You have been stealing my empty water bottles. The ones (as in three of them alone this week) with no lids that I use to get refills from the cold water tap they have here at work. This… THIS is NOT funny anymore. HINT HINT, if I am repeatedly leaving one there it is because I WANT IT. I am TRYING to loose some weight here. I know I require a hard helmet, elbow, knee and wrist protectors before I am allowed onto the short bus, and I know it seems counter intuituive that I, feeling like a water retaining seacow and wanting to loose what I hope is water weight would drink more water but that is what my fancy schmancy certification by the Murkin Sports Medical Clique told me, so I am trying to combine that Snickers breakfast with water to be all healthy and shit. So this little game you are playing, it is TOTALLY screwing with my vibe. I know you must think that this is something funny, but it is not. I say this on authority as as an ex-pat living abroad I can tell you with certainty that I entertain astonishingly easily. Trust me THIS, it is as hilarious as making me; the one with a no notice, squat on a toilet or not... bladder that stores like a camel, perform the patented "I got to go pee-pee, Yeah you know me" dance for my colleagues while waiting for an elevator to take me down 20 floors to get to a toilet; since you want me to listen to a symphony of JACKHAMMERS "fixing" ours and the 5 floors above and below us, that I can access, toilets AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME FOR THE WHOLE DAMN WEEK. Therefore I kindly request that you STOP IT NOW, as I am not entertained in the least by you fucking up my mornings like this. This is your last warning, no more of this polite Bonne Soirée crap. Steal another one and I will have to hurt you. And by that I dont mean maim I mean mutilate. Seriously one more time and I will lop of your hand, and go all consular on your ass or something. Bien Cordialement, Tink

Hello to All the Bold and the Beautiful...

It is time for a game of weekend round up! First and foremost lets talk about notoriety. I am hoping since I got a complete shout out from Wendy last week (when else can you express your love telling someone they are a noix de gateaux aux fruit and get traffic for it?? I LOVE that lady :) I am going to try and use it for a good cause. There are lots of bloggers out there raising money for good causes. Wendy herself raised money to buy knitting baskets through Heifer and is now raising money for Susan G. Komen. Jen and La raised money for breast cancer, you would have to have been in an Iraqi trench not to know about our favorite Harlot and Blogueses sans Frontières and now Kitten is putting up shop for another good cause. I believe strongly in reproductive rights and sex education and I want to encourace anyone of you who is a woman, loves a woman, or raising one to make a donation. I know I will, once my transatlantic transfer makes it across the pond (I pay 15€ + a % of the amount for 48 hours fuckers not this two weeks BULLSHIT!). So here comes the soap box with profanities, cover the babies ears... It will surprise few of you who ever read my other blog or between my lines that politically while practical at heart, I am pretty much left of left- for the states in particular. But my beliefs goes further than any party affiliation and they have real life experience attached to them. I volunteered during college with Planned Parenthood and have done a Mission (do I sound Mormon to you, I know I said no question is a stupid question but really...) in the developing world (Public Policy Specialist and Development Political Economist present and accounted for) on family planning. I have seen things from a perspective that not many have and sure as hell not many men. If they did they wouldn't block up money for a bloody razor blade so that the umbilical cord can be cut without infecting the mother or child, cause one fucking pamphlet from the organisation in another god damn country mentioned the option of abortion. While there are many areas of my life I would not mind the government, when it comes to my body and its health and my well being, I see no place for government or anyone's religion. That is between me and whatever donut in the sky I talk to; not me and you and or your God. For the hypocrites out there this is what PRIVACY is about and it is NOT a selective concept nor is the idea of seperation of church and state. It is there for a reason. So sorry boys but until you have one, I say to Congress and George Bush: KEEP YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF MY GOD DAMN UTERUS and while your at it extend the same dignity and RIGHT to any other sentient females too!!! Whew!! There went a poof of smoke... Now on to the knitting stuff: Can you believe it?? I made it to Café Tricoter! I am so definitely proud of myself for this, as I even managed to arrive on time, not latina time but when I said I would! I talked knitting in French which is not my forte, well until Kate showed up looking all cute and totally not pregnant. Let the anglo-fest commence :) Mona came to chat too and was knitting a lovely sweater. I must confess though… do you know how odd it is for someone to walk right up to you and recognize you from your blog?? Let's just say it is pleasant but still well… odd :) Oh and I will have you all know that for TWICE the price of what I could have gotten it for in the state I got me a bible. Yes before we left Kate and I went up to buy our book (the one I cleverly stole out from under her nose :) And then Kate took me to a GREAT Japanese place for lunch. Can I tell you how much I loved that Yakinikudon?? TONS!!! I am so glad that I the finicky eater have started to open myself to other food options. Who knew I would love the pink ginger with my meat dipped in soy? Well the soy bit I knew, but pink ginger?? After that I spent the weekend knitting on Martha, going to the exhibition of the French Open and drooling over Guga (tickets sold out before my "lazy and in the Jeux Olympiques commercial film thing they did on the Champs" ass got out to Roland Garros- let's hope that tennis freak boss can find us some for this Saturday with his links), cleaning a bit, planting some window hangers, and lounging with my new bible. So what about Martha? Well wine and needles obviously do not go well together… however that said I expect that after watching Star Wars Episode 4 tonight that one if not both will be done. And then I get to face up to the evil sleeves and their shaping. I MIGHT just MIGHT make it in time (though I am not sure about them being blocked…) for the blogmeet with the cool kids on Thursday. *edited to note that I finished the second front on the métro today. Now to face up to the evil sleeve shaping tonight cause I have plans for tomorrow evening. Champions League and a Pint are calling my name... I think I can, I think I can, I think I can... :)* And this is my friendly disclaimer on dubbing: HOLY SHIT BATMAN Darth Vader’s voice in French SUCKS. I am supposed to hear heavy breathing and something like James Earl Jones, at the least deep and raspy- not some random French man and some panting… Furthermore it is one thing to call Shaggy Sammy; which I still am kind of wavering on forgiving you for... But what the fuck are you doing calling Chewbacca, Chico?? Who the hell gave you that kind of permission??

Toto Try to Put Your Feet Down

Damn it has been a tornado over here with the turbines continuing the output of WOOOSH sounds. While it may have been a long weekend, it sure didn’t feel like it. Yup some of us here in France get a day off for someone jumping out of the clouds…Have to respect a country that has a holiday for skydiving :) And some people spent it on strike. Bienvenue à France. I had a great time with friends but drained myself of most all energy it seems. And MAN if that and all those damn stairs you climbed don’t catch up with you. So here is a very quick rundown of things Chez Tink: First of all I got thebookthebookthebook from Anna! I am so in LOVE with it and can’t thank Anna enough for her kind RAOK and the Harlot for being well herself and writing it down. It totally made my day. I have almost finished reading it because I had to sit and read on Tuesday instead of knit :) I don’t even want to bend the spine of it, I love it that much. And yes it will be going with me to the KIP at Brentano’s this weekend, if they don’t carry it I will tell them that they ought to! Should any other “locals” read here (besides Kate) you are welcome to meet up for Café Tricoter on this (May 21) Saturday morning between 10:30 to 12. I will be going to the Paris Loisirs before hand at l’Hotel de Ville so I should get to Brentano’s (avenue de l’Opéra) at around 11. Lets all pray they carry a knitting bible for Tink to buy at a REASONABLE price before she spontaneously combusts with this waiting thing :) Next up on the plate: there might be a shindig next week and I am TOTALLY stoked!! There will be knit bloggers to potentially meet here in town next week. I am so excited about this all I cant type more about it. The pressure it is ON :) Which brings us to Martha- which sidenote, I really want a better name for her, she deserves to have a name better than a OBC jailbird :) I have knit one front up to the arm hole/front shaping. Many might ask why I don’t just finish a bloody piece, besides that back, before I trek on to start another. They would be reasonable. It is because of two things. One I am not sure how I want to seam Martha together i.e. should I make the right side the wrong side and vice versa or something like that :) Second because I am not sure what neck line she should have. Most cardis I get are V-necks same for tops. I go for cowl, turtle, boat and V necks like crazy (after taking a look at my wardrobe). GAH! At least I found here to give me an idea of a Vneck look and the lovely and talented Bonne Marie has her version with a picture about a curved neckline option. I am visual people MUST.SEE to decide. Anyways I am knitting like a DEMON to finish knitting her in time for the possible shindig. I am hoping to prey with my stupidity on the kindness of others. Yes you all may consider this a warning that I might just try to make any KIP into a SIP for me (seam in public). So I am now knitting feverishly on the second front. And you know what I have a meditation for you all to end the post: You know you knit too much when you honestly contemplate typing a post with your nose or your toes because you want to get an extra couple of rows in during your lunch break in the office.

You Wanna Know What I Did Monday Night?

Well I took photos for you, and Meesa gonna post dem (hint there is talk about Martha making a partial appearance- you know like she is running down the tarmac). And more interestingly I watched Star Wars: First Episode, a series that M6 is running leading up to the release of the last episode. But damn if it aint weird seeing it dubbed in French! Yoda and Jar-Jar just do not sound quite right… And while it is not as funny as Stash Wars, I still watched and wound me this. Yup that is Shimmer and she is EVER so soft on the hand. One more yarn that I am in adoration with, if you were a betting person you would note that I have a real thing for alpaca my friends (as well as cashmere and angora too :) If Shimmer came in solid colors, I would die and go to heaven. And then I would probably figure out a way to use it for that cropped tie toppy thing I want to make. As it is I am thinking I need to make a trail order from Knitpicks soon… So what else did I do you ask, isn’t that First Episode a long movie… well first when you don’t have tons of commercials it runs about 2 hours. And when you show up 20 minutes late and have to make dinner that doesn’t add to the time either. Second when you have 440 yards of lace weight yarn to hand wind, well you don’t do much else, cause it is just plain old time consuming. I looked at Martha’s left front for one reminiscing second. I switched around needles in that anticipatory dance, but when I saw how the pattern was adjusted my mind went all wonky. And since I had soft yarn and a ball to make I did that instead. But all this lead me to thinking that I need to line up the birthday list. We are almost one month and counting away. I have decided rather than waiting I am going to get myself things (Unless it is made clear that someone else is ordained to surprise me with gifts- as I will send this list around, yes I am THAT kind of girl. The one who says if you don't know me that well, and 9 out of 10 times you dont, I will tell you what I want. Please do not deviate from the list... do not get me shoes like THIS!!). These are things above and beyond the small amount I budget to treat myself monthly. I have three pressies in the line up- a ball winder (hence this tangent brought to you my the letter all about ME :) a necklace (Fuck waiting for a boy to bring you a pretty blue box go get it yourself grrl! Now to decide which one...), and music player (for now an Ipod Shuffle. Have to take advantage of the smuggling *erm* I mean traveling friend and I don’t have the funds yet for the real deal mega storage Ipod) And then just when the morning got started, I went to put this post together and the sun came out BAM starts the day. Wow people I just won through Blingo. A movie ticket (I mean if it was an Ipod you would hear the squeals where ever you are) but still that is enough for me. I am going to have the ticket sent to Mama Mao’s address and let her have the free movie :) But no that isn't enough... I am completely blown away today because Anna emailed me to ask if I wanted her extra she has of thebookthebookthebook ! Ummm... HELL YEAH!!!! I took 0.2 nanoseconds to fire that email off! I don’t know what I have done recently to have this one fall in my lap but I live my life by one rule... never look a gift horse in mouth or the hoof for that matter. Off to take a lunch time trip to La Poste. Certain people have some goodies coming their way, the Procrastination Princess has stepped off the throne :)

I Would Like to Introduce You to My Fairy Yarn Mother

Her name is Snooze. She is the worlds bestest. This random and gorgeous person picks up on my blog from my ranting and raving and steps in to wave a wand around. First out of nowhere like the blogless Liz whom I utterly adore and am going to finish those Koigu socks... and lest I forget (*edited: SOOOO sorry!!! I posted the wrong version- this is why one should check which version, home or work, of a document you are working on!*) Terri who enabled me into a great Bay area store where I got to touch yarns and take home some Lorna's Laces sock yarn. Snooze sends me a book when I was dealing with the play like your job offer is a piñata game dark pit; just you know to pick up my spirits. Then she ups the ante as she has read this whole blog and sends me GUSHERS!!! Oh the glory of Gushers… But not content to leave it there she goes one step further to make my Monday morning today. As when I exited the flat the postman had just placed a small package in my boite. So I pulled it out and since she of divine fairieness has a wonderful packaging ability, I waited till I got to work to open it. Ravaging a package whilst on the métro only to pull out yarn and rub it against your face in the car of the work commuters does make tend to make them well STARE at you. Would you like to know what this lovely lady (of whom I am totally jealous of- she has met theharlottheharlottheharlot, been blogged about by theharlottheharlottheharlot, I am betting she has thebookthebookthebook (oh I will get that book one day yes I will!), and many photos of theyarntheyarntheyarn along with access to Gushers :) sent me... Moonlight Shimmer! OH MI GOD… Mama Mao best love her Mother’s Day socks and be willing to ship yarn to me. Cause I see a yarn purchase coming up for her to ship me! I am no longer feeling Knitpicks hesitant/reticent. Now to see what I will make with the hank of shimmer I have, oh the ideas I might knit… More entertaining (as I truly do entertain much easier than you might guess, and really it would frighten you how easy it is to make me laugh like a bowl full of jelly) she sent me a clip on belly ring. This stemmed from a comment on the post about Mama Mao sending me $220 orthopedic clogs that gave me vision changing jolts of pain (for which she is still pouting over, I of heathen status have rejected her clogs that have a spring for a heel). Anyone who bats more than two eyelashes knows that even in my pragmatic nature I don’t do orthopedic clogs. Born, Dankso, Birkentstock, Dr. Scholls- sure. THESE shoes (link coming to a computer near you tomorrow), that is a negative ghost rider. Leading Snooze to say that she could see leather pants, or a belly ring but not orthopedic shoes, even she knew better. And to be honest if it weren't for the big needle deal I might have gotten one by now. Anyways, I may not love my tummy but I will be sporting it and there will be photos. Though a photo shoot at work might really make them think I am crazy, not just insane. On the knitting front- I have finished the back of Martha, the sleeves are both back up to the evil shaping stage, and I have started a front (that is on halt as I need. I think Polly describes knitting 4ply cotton best. This takes FOREVER. And no I don’t have photos right now, I will edit them in tomorrow… Why am I such a flake on these things... well I am fighting myself on this. Part of me says get the internet at the flat, then you can be all involved and such things that being hip in the 21st century and connected implies. But the internet in the flat sucks me into a deep dark vortex from which I know that time disappears. I kind of like my calm and relaxed evenings, but then again I end up staying much later at work to satisfy my internet fix. Chances are I am going to try and figure out a way to do it. Hence the note to self: must learn self control. And to leave you with your laugh of the day that I got after turning in the paper with two salvageable sentences that gave me a cherry topped ulcer… this is PERFECT. Do not click through should you be prudish, it is knitting gone... well nothing profane but not for those people who wish to ignore anatomy. I totally almost wee’d when I saw it. It screams Kitten, La and Rock Chick.

Talk to the Bad Blogger After the Beep

Am alive, am occasionally knitting, am working on this stupid paper which is resulting in panic attacks with a cherry topped ulcer, am about to go on holiday (we have a long weekend for Ascension- something about going up the hill I guess :) am having people visiting from out of town for the holiday weekend. Am not going to probably be able to blog till next Monday, but will try to write said blog entry over weekend and finish said bloody paper so that I can make proper ass of self in front of boss. Am going to try and take photos of Martha and finished India socks that are for Mama Mao. Have a great one!

Hey Lookie There!

So this was a morning of revelations... the first being that hey not only do I love this cabled baby turquoise (can't think of better color description) turtleneck I have; but even better when I haven't pulled it all the way down it looks really cute as a turtleneck shrug. Especially when matched with that light blue top, for the two toned adorable look. Now I could be on crack, it wouldn't be any thing new... but then I thought to myself, hey self... you could totally get yourself that cool scarf style book and MAKE that. You wanted to make it with the Cork yarn that Divine Emma sent you... That leads to another delusional thought, cause after finding out that your bank charges a 2.5% commission for purchases outside the EU (in addition to the 8€ per month just to have a Carte Bleu) as transactional banking fees that are charged for currency conversion (anyone else calling that BULLSHIT... yeah I AM!)- you hallucinate that you should go look at yarns in the States. So where did I go? I headed over to Knitpicks. I am thinking I need CHEAP ass projects, and I want to check out their yarn anyways. I had hoped to get an idea in a box Momma Mao had sent. However (and this is NOT said with ingratitude, just irritation), my mother the lug she is sends me an unannounced "early birthday present" (note one chosen without my input or consultation... I am too old for that shit!). And what do you think she sends? Yarn- Negative ghostrider; she sends $200 "orthepedic" shoes. To me who does NOT have foot problems, unlike my mother. And oh yeah that is what we wear here in Paris. Like I don't feel freakish enough for not having a pair of stilletto boots as it is... But even worse these are hideous looking things that give me vision changing joint pains (and then she pouts when I say I am returning them to her, though I don't ask her for anything else!) and a HUGE stock pile of Peeps, but not the conditioner I NEED nor the yarn from Knitpicks when she has their retail store 20 minutes from her... GAH! Wait. Where was I before that no-warning rant... oh yeah I went to Knitpicks site, and you know what... they have their summer line of yarns up. That includes cotton options for the cotton knitters. I don't think that includes me too much but it is nice to look! And they also have other colors up in other yarns (hmmm someone see me searching for turquoise blue- the new green Chez Tink) Oh and as a random update I have almost finished the second India sock. It is almost at the start of the starburst toe shaping. Which means done easily by the end of the week. And in my fidgety weekend of trying to relax (well that was until we realized that when we shook our derrière to some good music it continued shaking well past when my hips stopped. Oh lordy! We (my ass and me) freaked out; that, THAT is NOT acceptable. And then this morning on the way into work registered our ass (which is seemingly expanding at the same rate as the US national debt) for a gym with most of this months yarn allowance- "stash knitting" commences) I started two other sets of needles. Jittery means something here Chez Tink. One is another sock, in the yarn I got from Germany when I bought my favorite sock knitting needles (only in the "wrong" size- see more reinforcement that contrary to what my boss thinks - Smart, it does NOT reside here!) on really tiny needles (size US 0/2mm). Which made me think that tie front top I would love to make, I want to be done with fine gauge yarn for that professional kind of look. Yeah I am on crack over here. The other was getting back to work on Martha. I got fed up with her sleeves so I switched out the needles and started the back and have about 5 inches (starting the increases) done on the back. I have a feeling finishing this is going to be a pain, and really I dont finish things so I am in deep shizer. Oh yeah and I got an email directly from Kim Hargreaves! I asked if patterns would ever be available seperate from the yarn kits... Seems not, so if anyone wants to go in and split out yarn and pattern I am up for it :)

A five minute drive by

Ok I love my boss. I had been hoping for substantive work. This brings me to my idiocy moment of the day. First of all- never want anything, you will get it and NOT be thanking yourself. See I work by the have them under estimate you so when you make normal goals people think you are the shiznit! Now I am under pressure. Boss tore a muscle and is having surgery on it and out of office for next two weeks. Therefore he asked me if I wanted to help with a paper of his. OK, I am now writing a paper for BIG FALUTING Monetary Institution to PUBLISH. No, no pressure or anything... So you get random run by: After weekend (see previous post) with Martha's sleeves I was in DIRE need of brainless knitting. Guess what arrived in time to save me? THIS. I don't know why the yarn people sent me silicon kiddie muffin molds?? I don't ask these things, I don't speak German. This yarn helped immensely when I had a bonehead moment. A moment in which I locked myself out of my flat, and had to go to may landlord's after work, WAY OUT in the BFE Banlieues... Three and a half hours on the RER (or at the station) and you have a sock finished! (Another has been since started too!) And since I am avoiding the lace, the holes have teeth and are after my sensitive bits, here is the photo of one lacy on the fly sock. Proof that single sockitis does exist Chez Tink. And just to brighten my day I got a RAOK! Cindy sent me stitchmarkers! With such a fashionable card... they brightened the "Winter Griselle will NOT go the HELL AWAY and let me wear that KILLER new dress I should not have bought" day. Look for them to be playing the leading role with knitting in the future. And then to put the cherry on the cake Kim Hargraves goes and gets her site online! I jump for Joy. Only not in a kit... or in white for that matter.

Lesson Learned

OK I get it, the Knitting Goddess has made it apparently clear to me as to why some people are partial to knitting both sleeves at the same time. Really I GET IT. This is why the smart kids, especially for patterned sleeves, knit them at the same time. Sure it takes “longer,” but it is infinitely better than realizing that you did this. Which resulted in cracking open a bottle of wine so that you would do this, producing one ugly hand wound ball of cotton, serious it looks like crap. Followed by enough determination to re-knit the sleeves while subjecting yourself to a Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dölph Lundgren movie (and I use that term lightly so as not to offend) to try and get close to the point you were at before. This is the point where you bring out the shooters to face down the devil that will appear when you have to do that shoulder shaping on them both at the same time (photo to be attached when I am not a dork and leave my cable at home) . Hoping that the devil will be nicer if you offer to let him do body shots. The good part of this whole thing is in desperation from that event, after confirming that the charger shouldn’t fry the computer, you found out you can make the computer charge. Hence you can watch one of your three DVDs!!! Unfortunately the charger is unreasonably temperamental and completely unpredictable. Moreover it is a Mac with a freaking QWERTY keyboard (not AZERTY like I use at work, meaning that before I clean up work is zork). This annoys the every fucking living hell out of me, I am not finding this entertaining. In.the.Least. RIGHT CLICK WORK, stewpid Mac!! Bang head against screen, then realize that isn’t smart- it isn’t your screen. Proceed to continue the invectives transferring them from the knitting to the movie to the computer. Then think damn you are psychologically damaged goods. But continue to shout at the blasted thing regardless- you are irreverent damaged goods! But make note to put out the call (or appel if you start writing Franglais like me) for assistance (or aide- see previous parenthesized commentary). Please send US coded DVD’s, so that I never have to watch anything as horrible as Universal Soldier again. Please! However if I left the story there it would be a pretty lame post with one hell of a pathetic ending. And while I can be lame, ending on that level of patheticness is beyond even my threshold. So I am going to walk you through the process, cause Margene will tell you and I agree- it is the process. So when you first face this realization, you ask yourself: Would that really bother you if you left it like that, it is at the seam of the sleeves... For those not aware this is the first step of denial for the compulsive perfectionists, it is rhetorical. You realize this justification floats as much as a French Fry in the pool (I say this as a joke. In teaching swim lessons for 10 years and having Pool Safety day we ask the kids- who it must be said I do miss- a series of questions. One being why don’t we eat food in the pool? Only to have my favorite three year old look at us with a level of seriousness unparalleled and say, from undoubted experience, cause French Fries don’t float… ok so that is a tangent- Back to the knitting). Instead you face up to your dippy the shit stick moment, thankfully with a glass of wine. Then you hesitate, which is the second stage of denial, thinking if you stare at it long enough you will make it disappear. That only gives you a headache and makes you dizzy. So you decide that you will rip back, and even though you aren’t a champion knitter you will document it. So without further ado I subject you to my attempt at a tutorial. I preface this with the fact that for me the hated part of ripping back is putting all those stitches back on the needles. I am sure someone else thought this up first, and probably could have done a better tutorial, but to avoid my patheticness we are going to show you the pictures of my Sunday afternoon and knitting. As I said above first you stare down your faux pas, wondering what made you thing that you should have done that? How could you have not noticed it? Why can't you count? Didn’t you pass remedial math before taking that econometrics course that you have blocked out (but could probably use given your current work situation…)? Then you decide you are genius! You will take another pair of needles and run them through the stitches close to where you want to rip back (no need to get cocky on this first try and go for the row you want- if you fuck up that would be a mess). Then you rip, rip, rip; notice that DAMN that cotton is KINKY. Then you play the leveling game to get the sleeves both to the same point. Continue putting the sleeves on the same needle, which is a bit small for this… Think you are close to trying this new thing out. Call yourself a few names and turn them around because you couldn’t line them up right the first time. Smile and knit your first go at the sleeves at the same time. Start muttering that this is fussy crap. Remind yourself that you are doing this so that they will match once done and suck up some more wine. After doing this you too can then turn your invectives towards the Météo lady who, after the publicité for the Bond movie you would have rather watched, tells you that the griselle shall be sticking around this week. And one step further that the cold (which came back with a vengeance this week) could stick around until mid-May. FUCK THAT BITCH, I am knitting a summery turquoise blue cotton three quarter length sleeved cardigan. Take note: Transference, it takes you everywhere! And when I start knitting summer clothes, do not predict temperatures at 1 degree Celcius!

Big Pimpin Style

In case you did not know... I am ALL about the Bling-Bling. I like to say I am not a big bad capitalist and all that but if you offer me things, while I know that they do not make my happiness, I will sure as hell still take em! Especially when they come for free! I was reading about this new search engine offer over at Mac's. Basically it is another beta deal, like Gmail only for a search engine. I signed up through her invitation and am currently trying the search engine out. I have to say that it seems nice and has a decent interface, which is a bit more stylish than plain Google. I have dug in and for all I can tell it is legit, and if it is not the worst that could happen is Spam. And since I already know how to deal with that... I figure this is WELL worth a chance! Basically the way it works is instead of using Google for your internet searches, you use Blingo. And to soothe your searching soul, Blingo applies the Google search engine for your search. Which begs the question of why use them? For the Bling Bling baby! The spin is that they choose random times and random people making searches at that time to give Amazon gift certificates, Ipods, DVRs and other goodies. Hopefully some time this month they will get the toolbar installation up and running, making it that much easier to use and maybe win. And then you search, seach and search to your little hearts content. Then just for searching, you could win something! That simple. I found my link and signed up through Mac. Mac found it from Kymberlie (the goddess of winning free things from the looks of it), who has already won a movie ticket. So here is the link to sign up and then go search your little hearts off. And please use the link, because the best bit of Blingo is that if you sign up through me and then win something, I win too! Blingo it is the new way to search :)

There Are Borders…

And Blogspot has depassed all of them, by leaps and bounds. It was sufficient for what it was and really one can only complain so much about a free service but well … I had this kick ass post I perfected. I linked to it; I even linked to photos in it too. You might see the little edited note in it about this post. You don’t have to be Einstein to figure out what annoyed me. The fucker ATE my post, the post that I had put my precious TIME into, locked me out of Blogger and then I had to put all that time back into it to post it later. That was the last straw on Humpty Dancing Dumpty's back; over the edge and through the valley to grandmother’s house of discontent I went. Since I started this blog here have been little blips and bugs here and there, ones beyond my computer issues (cause we all know I have been placed on Olaf the Swedish God of Technology’s shit list for all of eternity and perpetuity). Periods where I couldn’t access things, times when the functions were insufficient. La mentioned this last month when people couldn’t post to a my I got a visa post, and the photos resized the post such that the blog is all FUBAR on formatting. Which by the way thank you for scrolling down to read, I appreciate it. I had thought to take the time to adapt that and play with the CSS and code again. I know some of that basic stuff. And I had gotten used to Blogger, which importantly was free. I am a creature of habit and fiscal responsibility (as best I can be) so it was going to take something external to pry my ass out of the chair for the ever-expanding derriere. Last Friday there was a snap that took a crowbar to the chair and here I am. There is enough about using Blogspot that I do not like. Eating posts is one point. Comments are another (9 out of 10 times I don’t get an email for you or know where you have a website either). And since I am broke but not deathly so I took action. I went to Godaddy, which is the least expensive option, and I bought my URL. Or what I thought was my URL. And then the circles with Godaddy began. Seriously if it takes 9 "customer service" people to answer a simple question and stop them from continuing to try to bash me, I am not sure I should use them. I guess they are cheaper for a reason. So I don’t know what shall become of this adventure but we are breathing a bit and focusing on other things cause Tink is about to go into agitation overdrive from the whole URL fiasco... which yes I think I am going to register fidgetyknitting on its own, while I thought at first I could maybe cutesy it that way- the deal with satans spawn (ie Godaddy) has made me cranky. When cranky I tend to get stubborn, which includes a large amount of cement forming instantaneously from nowhere around my feet. But probably not till next month- causing further delays. Anyways I still have some more research to find a server that doesn’t break the bank and is nice to work with that will support two URLs (suggestions- Bueller??), decide on which application I will use for the blog (Movable Type, Word Press, Expression Engine etc- go on you know you want to, express yourself. But do not sing Madonna. The time for that song has passed a long time ago, I promise, it was confirmed at a party last Friday- Trust me.), and then of course try to make a cute and catchy design for it (or get someone else to…). Short of all that is that I will still be here for a while with this whole adult life thing KICKING my ass like it is and that hallucination I have been indulging in by buying yarn and thinking that dinners out and retail therapy is the are very good coping strategy. Probably long enough till my procrastinating ass gets pissed off again at another fuck up and goes straight to action. But you all have been warned a migration is in the plans and future prepare yourselves :) Though the present concern is how do we take a frown and turn it upside down?? Well we try to think of something we can do knit or buy (even though retail therapy should be taken off the plate given how much dosh I have tossed down on yarn, shipping costs and the eating out which I MUST STOP DOING even if the absolutely lovely director of the adjoining department or cute coworker invites- well unless he is RILLY cute and then says he'll pay. Then you GO :) But after seeing Rachel’s pancha, I decided that I really do want to make a drop stitch wrap. I can dream of spring, I can too! And what do you know I haven’t a clue any further than that (can we tell that the lace has bitten me in the derrière and kicked the same derrière around the playground too??) And then this lovely blog went and put up info about this sale. Oh all that is good and holy I did not need to see this (for the wrap), or this, or this, or this (which I could use to make this) in my current state! The first thought was to make it in the kidsilk haze I have. But that Zen looks cool, though a bit spendy, would be a fun idea non? I am thinking long and wrapped around me in that glorious French manner. Something thet might keep me from feeling frumpy, spring and frumpy should not go together. Spring and strappy sandals with sophisticated wrap sounds like they fit. Keep dreaming Tink :) At least that saga with my bathroom, you know that one that started WAY back when... that one should be ending on Monday. See something to be positive for and keep my mind off of the visit to the préfecture I am going to have to be subjected to next week.

FUGGER

Ok. So I have gotten fed up with Blogger. I am going to move over to an independant deal. I will say more about this later but right now I must rage against the machine. I went and I bought my domain today. I typed in www.fidgetyknitting.com cause that is what I wanted. I am fidgetyknitting non? I verified it, I know you need to check those things and I DID. And then I get my email that www.fidgettyknitting.com has been registered. So I email with in 5 minutes of the purchase, saying HEY I typed in something else. I checked it, I'd like to have the right domain. They say essentially fuck off. You can buy another domain if you want but we won't fix that one that you typed in right and got all screwy afterwards. So besides bitching and being crabby as all fuck about this (and my seriously shitty work day today) what to do?? So chime in please. Do I: a. give up the ghost and dump the whole deal; b. change the spelling of the blog name and live with it; or c. pay up and get the right domain name instead of using that money to buy yarn or liquor, pay off third world debt (or grad school debt which I should pay attention to too!) or go to Cabo. FUCK I HATE THIS SHIT!

And So Shall It Be Noted. And So Shall My Ass Expand

For all who care to pay attention feel free to take notice that I am in serious need of forking out the dosh and joining the fitness club out here by work. I so wanted to save for an Ipod… you know so I could grove and move at the same time. But I need my smokin ass to fit in the pants and skirts I got too. What is a girl to do? It turns out as a form of thanks (one in which I am hesitant to discourage) my coworkers whose travel I arrange and approve on occasion are taken to bringing me gifts. At first I just thought it was importation on request- you going to the UK?? BRING ME CRANBERRY JUICE. But in reality it is a form of bribes. For when, you know they come at the last second and say hey I have this publication I need you to work on for me and I have to have it through the publication system by close of business; Today. Only it is a 300MB document (which is HUGE hell it is bigger than my ass and that is an accomplishment). Yes, Coworker brought to us by the letter P: I-love-you. You are so lucky that you are 1. cute and 2. smart (or drunk, not quite sure) enough to buy me liquor when we go out. The rules of the game are simple- bribe me and then we talk. This is the corruption of an international organization. They may no longer take care of their own (don’t ask it involves the nasty word Visa) but they do respond to bribes. Unfortunately for my Ass many of our short distance travel trips take place in either Brussels or Switzerland. So this morning I woke up dragged said Ass to the office, only to be surprised by two ever so lovely gifts from the two colleagues I recently sent to Geneva. One got me a cow bell- Mooooooooooooooooooooooo. No I am not joking, nor am I eating grass today. Though thinking of that maybe I should look into eating green things... then again who wants their ass to resemble a cow's... yeah, fuck that idea. The other got me Lindt chocolates (thankfully not a box of their amarettini pralines; Dear Dog are those divine!). And since I send people that way on average once every week, my ass is going to expand EXPONENTIALLY in the foreseeable future. I share the inferior candy and ring the bell for all to graze but quality chocolate?? That is all mine bitch! Think I could convince them to come back with yarn? That would take some pressure off my ass I guess.

Bounce, Bounce

The new Knitty is up. Yeah yeah I know I am late on this, there is a time difference to take into account people. Anyways, I will say in advance that I find Knitty to be a great online resource! That said, I am kind of left going hmmm... by this edition. That cover photo is one kind of whopper, and not the kind from Burger King either. I know about opening the mind and all, but if I knit it, I want to use it. While there isn’t much that interests me, some of it makes me say WTF actually… I found one thing that I might tempt Le Fate and make a cute-ish tank top using ribbon yarns, I haven’t tried ribbon yarn knitting and another few to use me some of that kidsilk haze to make (or not… I am kind of eh about it). On a further Knitty tangent, I did finally print off all the other patterns from Knitty that I liked for my own “pattern magazine.” Whew, I have taken care of that! And I think Tempting is on the list to be put on some needles very shortly, once a yarn is settled up. It is very clear that I love Cashmerino Aran, but I think that a bit too much for Spring and Summer, which is when I have the full intention of wearing that sucker to work! And I have shifted; all knitting from here forward should be things I can wear during Spring and Summer. The first logical yarn replacement lean MIGHT be to Cotton Cashmere. But that does not float here. I find it odd that Cotton Cashmere is 2€ more than the Cashmerino Aran. So I am thinking (dependant on what people who have used it say… if I can get them to speak up- jolie s’il vous plait avec un cerise?) in the color black (which knocks out one of the lines…) I might go with the new Rowan RYC yarns, that or Cotton Angora or maybe Calmer. Feel free to line up with opinions I like talkative and opinionated people. As for current knitting: Martha is taking revenge, I talked shit about that poncho that a similarly named convict wore and now she is mocking me for it. I have almost finished a sleeve. I say almost because that shoulder shaping has taken a cat o' nine tails to my ass each time I attempt to knit it. I have ripped it back at least three times, since I the omnipotent incompetent can 1. Not read, 2. Not count, 3. Not knit. Luckily thanks to Bonne Marie I found out that there is a knit-a-long being hosted here, maybe I will actually say I am going to participate AND participate! The shock! The horrors! Therefore I have two options to take the bull by the horns (and seriously you see this photo and you decisively say NO to horns, cattle ranch heifer owning family or not) and fight this shoulder shaping tooth and nail. Or I could just start another part of the cardigan. Or I could just start another project. The decisions I, the Empress of Indecision, must face… Actually I have to admit (if you couldn’t guess I am a compulsive confessor), all “lace” is revolting against my desire to do anything involving it. I say this because my second sock that I did on the fly (seriously I did write a few notes and it isn’t a hard deal to follow) is fudgey and in need of a dink back. What gets me with this bugger is how I can think I am on pattern and go 3-4 rounds (of a four row repeat) before I notice that the count is off. I mean this is a patterned deal so it is pretty easy to follow round because of where the holes from before are. And sure I understand you wouldn’t notice on one of the knit rounds… But going back 6 rounds dinking stitch by stitch because you can't for the life of you figure out where things went wrong is annoying and involves profanities. So maybe I should put another project on the needles, one that involves creating no holes and is simple (hence the Tempting idea- Zen round and round of 2X2 rib!). I am in love with the idea of this kind of a top. I am sure it surprises no one that I like it and it helps me (despite it being 9° C today and grey as all griselle is) think that Spring is in the air. Even better it would be great for wearing at work! I am thinking if I ever feel like I am smart enough to figure out how to design something that isn’t me just doing a stitch pattern I might try and figure out how to design the pattern myself… famous last words. Me I am off to work’s TGIF drinks+ (yeah this time I KNOW they will run to the weee hours of the morning), with a tattoo on my forehead for my Polish co-worker. NO VODKA until I am within a 5ft radius of my quartier. That should help me… I hope, damn if he only he wasn’t cute. *note this is posted later due to blogger eating and fucking spitting out my post. Expect a post about that bit soon.

Just Thinking...

I know that there is a long running series in my life of NO TINK ONLY YOU stories... I have resigned myself to that fate and hope that it entertains others. I mean do I need to ask if anyone else at 8 am on the way to pick up their packages at La Poste have a man, wearing a full face covering plastic three little pigs mask, come up and try to start a discussion with them? No, I didn't think so... but really is it just me, or is it WRONG- make that 16 different kinds of WRONG, to charge more than 50% (59% to be exact) of the purchase value in shipping charges when it is only going from Germany to France and weighs less than a kilo?? Crack Cocaine ships for cheaper my friends (do not ask how I know this, infer it yourself- it is your creative adventure and challenge for the day). I know, I know I shouldn't be bitching... I did the invincible and found my yarn where it was not to be found before. Plus it is (in equivalent values; yes people I work with Economists... get ready for the lingo/jargon) at least 33% less than the prices in the states with shipping charges included. And it is well noted that having lived in Euroland for the last year and a half while being funded on dollars has given me a VERY intimate relationship and acquaintance with the barrel and all postionings around it possible. So theoretically this should not bother or surprise me... But SHIT! All I can say is: Where is the lube... and that post better be here POSTE FUCKING HASTE you hear! Oh yeah and while I am at the whole memo writing deal lets adress the following: When I say ENGLISH SPEAKER ONLY, that really means I haven't a fucking clue how to read in German and am tired of seeing my coworkers face when I have to ask him to come and translate for the loony pink yarn buying freak (though he makes no second glances when people drink tequila and talk to the worm). Further to the memo- I debunk the "all Germans speak perfect English" myth... not these ones. I am getting head aches from trying to understand your "English." And our last point related to my temperment- I already have crochety people at another international organisation trying to treat me like I am a dumb blonde and will do their work for them because I am a dumb blonde that wouldn't know that you are trying to go around my bosses comments to you or that whole push off manoeuvre... I have four words on my policy for that "friend" ZERO TOLERLANCE FOR ASSHATS.

First Comes Famine

And then comes the out of control feasting!!! HOLY SHIT, No one warned me about how FUCKING EXPENSIVE it was to be an adult again! Thankfully since I have a tiny belly (the family joke is that size of my bladder was inversed with the size of my stomach and there are dromedary genetics imbedded in me) there has been no out of control eating. Really I am not into this whole cyclical thing anyways. I love the rollercoaster on the way up but I have to say that in growing up life has taught me to be a bit wary of the way down. And this adult business thing is telling me that I need to learn how to manage my time a bit better and more evenly. But having a job, a kick ass team and manager, a paycheck and feeling all quasi secure has lead to an all out explosion over here with my pocketbook going to shattered bits. I go out for dinner and/or drinks at least once a week. The past two Saturdays I have gone clothes shopping (nothing major but SOMETHING and all for work). And of important interest to this blog, I have gone yarn shopping. Hell I have even knitted recently- shock of all shocks. Yes my friends I am on the quest to create me a mini stash! And support the whole German economy while doing it! I had three objectives and one was met today. I have searched, I have been warned off, but I have conquered! I am Spanish after all. This country is mine, now where do I plant my flag to make it mine? (Special prize if you get that joke/quote!) After 101 emails and a long period where I was completely lost in translation- I think I have gotten me a SHIT LOAD of sock yarn. Objective One Obliterated! Now on to the Pretty Wrappy Top yarn and Rebecca books for me! But for our current adventure the hunt started when I decided to treat myself to some of that Regia Jubilee India. I wanted Paris and Provence too but India was the goal! Dreams of being on the beaches in Goa flittered through my mind. I went around and ALL the places that I knew used to have it had dried up. In some cranky and spotty English I learned that the India Jubilee was not a normal line of yarn. And that it might be the D word! DISCONTINUED. no No NO!!! that is not acceptable says I who wants to spend money that I shouldn't/don't REALLY have! and if you dont think it is either you can email them to say so too! Demand creates supply people- its a circle :) And if you stay quiet there are consequences! So email away saying you want the Jubilee to stay: Gertraud.Sabatowski@coats.com or marion.ringwald@coats.com. So after some more hunting and forcing a co-worker to come into the office to help me buy some pink sock yarn (really the odd looks I get, for the innocent shit when they don't blink at me doing the scary shit...) That is right I found it and I am going broke, cause I bought STOCK in it. One of the balls has my name on them, and another has Leya's. And if I really love it might go back and get more. Even better I have not only SEX content (that is Stash Enhancing Xpedition for my favorite fellow gutter waders) I have knitting content. Cause guess what I did. Well first last thursday I finished my lacy, on the fly, I made it up and I LOVE it sock. Well minus that kitchener part... But tradgedy of all tragedy's I forgot the second one I had started at work on Friday. So what is a girl to do? Well she is to pick up that turquoise blue 4ply Cotton and start knitting. And what do all good knitters start with. A swatch... or in my case a sleeve that they call a swatch. I was a bit concerned on size and gauge but I am just going to go with it. I will figure out as I go and that which doesn't kill me, will not have cost me a fortune and will give me things to wear. I am currently attempting to gauge where to start the shaping so that the sleeve hit petite me in the right spot. Let's hope there is not a lot of re-knitting involved in this experiment. And that folks is all for this edition of random run by knitting hit. Tag you are it, I am off to knit a sock and sleeve :)

SQUEEEEE !!!!!!!!!!

Yup I am red handed. I haven’t blogged in a while. Life has definitely caught up with me, and now I am going to catch you up! Hold on for a random ride through the life Tink leads. So when I got back from the joy-ride round the death wheel through the tenth ring of Consular Hell, I had postal notices to pick things up. Now I have to admit La Poste is my nemesis. I am horrible about getting there, even when I know that goodies are waiting! And with the whole starting work, jet lag, cold, rainy weather and being on a team that says we are going out at 7pm for TGIF drinks and not getting home till 3am did not help matters any (though DAMN am I on the right team, with the RIGHT boss!). But I finally got my act together, and boy was I glad! First I ripped open Emma’s package (it was in an envelope that my hands could tear apart). Oh the joys!! I had a lovely card from Miss Emma & Co. herself that included a Rowan kit with the PERFECT Merlot shade of Cork. I have never tried Cork! And now I have enough to either make a mini poncho (random tangent- why is it when I think poncho my brain immediately thinks of Mon chi-chi’s??) or I was thinking if I got the Scarf Style book maybe that shrug turtleneck deal… hmmm the thoughts. Even cooler though was that Emma included me some stitch markers. I had seen these all around and thought hey those are cool! But I never had any, and now I do. Emma love, I LURVE them and especially you :) After that I had to break out the knife. See when I talked about Bibles (I’ll get there, I’ll get there, this is a L-O-N-G post people bear with me) Susie emailed saying “Hey I have this book, it’s not on your bible list but I’d love to send it your way!” And in my astonishment at people who read (really people READ me?? they dont click and move on??) and then go one step further and OFFER to send me things I was blown away and said had the cognizance to say yes. So this is the part where my voice went decibles above that which only dogs can hear! Cause I was expecting only a book and there was this bigger box. I was all “Huh??” But that didn’t stop my inner three year old from whipping out a knife and slicing into that box (ummm yeah I was soooo the munchkin who tore her way through presents and was often WAY more interested in the packaging than the toys for the first 30 minutes of present time). That box made me squee! In there was a book, a lovely book that told me some finishing things (and says I knit the French continental way… hahaha) but there was more! To my joy I found a package of sock yarn that managed to stow-away in the box without a passport. It is this lovely springy pinky set of variegated colors and I am searching for a sock pattern. But really it Suzie has topped that cake with something better than a cherry. See she read my whole blog, people I don’t know what to say to that. Seriously she read it and she mined for info, tailoring her gift. She sent me GUSHERS!!!! In the best and right flavor! Ok that is where I went overboard. I HAVE GUSHERS and sock yarn!! Life is beautiful, now if only spring would get its act together so I can wear my new skirt! Then things got better! How I know not, but they did. Cause see I made it back in time for the TBM (happens twice a year at Le Bon Marché and is their way of doing a sale with out calling it a sale) and I got PAID (yes and in EUROS too- utterly beside myself, beside self!). So I promptly picked my ass up and I bought yarn. Serious, I did it. I haven’t done that in at least 6 months and I DID IT. I was a bit in overwhelm once there. The Rowan discounts are always good during the TBM, and they aren’t clearance so it is free and fair choice- and if they don’t have it you can pay at that price and get the yarn once its in. And this time I got enough yarn to make Martha (yes I know it says Buzz but that is wheat I am making! the Cardigan, tell Rowan to get their act together not me) from the latest Rowan catalogue. I got some Phildar Aviso to check out what I think of that yarn- I have been meaning to forever. And then I broke the bank and let impulse carry me away. In my defense I was hallucinating on the fact that my bank account had money in it and I ate something other than couscous for dinner. And it was 20% off… so I got me some Kid Silk Haze. I am thinking of no lace but simple scarf, maybe even a Clapotis inspired do. I don’t know.. I do know that I LOVE my colors . And now I am baout to put my order through the Germans for more sock yarn (See Leya it is coming your way) and Rebecca patterns! And serious boys and girls it looks like I have a stash. Or at least what I call a stash :) And onwards to the discussion about Knitting Bibles… so I have gotten a fair amount of feedback on that post. I will be following it up here soon with a dedicated post. I have to say I had the chance while in SF to look at some of the options listed and not listed. I didn’t get to see the Buss or Vogue book but I liked both the Montose and Wiseman options. I think for myself to be comprehensive and fiscally responsible I am going to start with the Montose book. It is more technical and less user friendly on that initial reader perspective. But I don’t intimidate easily by books and hopefully it will be worth it. More in a later post though cause I have more to roll through! Now to those IT details that I have heard about. La made the lovely point that Blogspot is sucking the royalty out of life right now. And I kind of have to agree. That and I am still hallucinating from having a paycheck. People I got paid!! Additionally once I can figure out how to work a Mac (serious this is SO not intuitive to me. AT. ALL.), and can get me a proper power adapter/charger I have a computer again. And that means that I will be able to download and take more pictures (but not of me doing tequila shots with my work collegues… that is for other stories and hiding when people go round with the camera phones). And it also means that I am going to play around with design and maybe move this blog out into the big world on its own. You know following the lead of the other big bad girls… So look back and listen clearly for updates. What more?? Well there are the daily entertainments of working in an international organisation– like having my Polish coworker invite me out to coffee and then when I teased him about a fellow co-worker he turns to me and dead pans, Never trust a Mexican :) Without any PC tones. I entertain easily, and I can’t explain it. There are the “what the hells” of town- like seriously who told all the old ladies that Bee-hives alla the 70s are back in style?? There are the holidays (come on the French have the best we are on acid explanation for easter around- the BELLS from the Vatican bring the Eggs… Yeah I’ll stick with Eddie Izzard's explanation). But really I am marinating in the dullness of my life. I am knitting a lacy Koigu sock, making it up as a I go (and of course not taking notes and TERRORIZED by the thought that I might run out of yarn…) and have since become addicted to that Oxygen drug. I hope everyone had a lovely Easter. May you all have been Peep-ified (I was peeped early while in SF) and have chocolate bunnies multiplying in the home.

Hi, I Am Over Here...

Forget what my brain looks like on crack, this is what my ass looks like dragging a doobie of jetlag with a cold while trying to start a job… I am back in Paris, which seems surreal as I was here a while ago in Brussels and San Francisco in between. My brain says it is way past Christmas, so it refuses to wrap these kinds of concepts. It is no surprise either, that my ass draggeth badly! After one 24 hour travel leg (involving a 30 degree change) followed by 4 days with 3 hours sleep a day, my jacket being “left” in the airport shuttle, plus another 22 hour travel leg back then straight off the plane to catch the train, dropping off luggage and into the office… all with a stuffed up nose, sinus pressurized headache, hacking cough, superpower lugie manufacturing and launching capabilities and sore throat- it makes sense. First and foremost, I want to say thanks to everyone who supported me. Whether it was listening to me rant like an utter lunatic, fielding a paranoid call, sending a nice thought, leaving a comment, making me smile and laugh or telling me I could face this crap. You are all wonderful. The kindness extended by knit bloggers (and readers of knit blogs) in the community was amazing. Terry in SF and Miss Eggplant emailed me info on SF yarn stores. Terry upped the ante, being so kind as to get me a gift certificate to Imaginknit! At this point I had entered the tenth ring of Consular Hell. I was switching from a weekend trip to a “you will not be home for 11 more days trip” trip, in the blink of an eye. This was where the blessings of this trip began. I was going to stay with friends, the weather was GORGEOUS, and it is San Fran. Then the very kind, but blogless, Lizabeth decided to take pity on me. Normally I am not one to take or give pity, but when it comes in the form of Koigu… I say ok! Susie sent me a book. And to top it all off the divine Emma herself sent me a RAOK that arrived while I was gone. I put out the SOS in Brussels. I scrambled to find a “reasonably priced” ticket- 4 days before departure… I scrambled to make paperwork/justifications appear where they were not before. Then these Consular fuckers go and think they are thespians- they put on a performance of Jekyll and Hyde. Tink is NOT impressed and she sure as fuck is NOT entertained, in fact she is extending an ultimatum. You son of a bitches want to play Jekyll and Hyde, Tink is going to let loose the Pandora’s box of the many and ugly faces of Sybil. So in a bit of a daze and not letting myself think about things I flew out, with quaking hands. I landed (about 2 steps away from deaths door, loosing my voice and having told off more than one rude person in Newark). I did the jet lag limbo and a few hours later I put those applications together. I walked through China Town to the Consulate. I talked to the nice man, he said I had the complete application and sent me to sit in a chair. The chair of hyperventilation! You want me to wait MORE… I thought I had avoided the great white bullet. Shit, the lady goes to talk to him and they are pointing at the screen. Why does she have to do that?? Cause the experience would not be complete without heart palpitations Tink! I know most people say hey- if there is anyone I want to throw into the fire who can think quick on her feet and pull all the shit together managing to come out without 3rd degree burns, it is you Tink. Well Tink would like to tell you all that while she has decided she will take that as a compliment, she’d prefer it if we left that whole FIRE bit out of the equation for the next say… 70 years. Tink has prematurely aged herself 30 years over the past 3 weeks. She may have found her first gray hair. And really she wants it abundantly clear, in case anyone gets confused, that she wants NO MORE FIRE AT ALL, just dull and boring dirt. Then the visa lady calls me up and says I have some questions for you. Oh I am prepared with the truth and fibs to anything you could ask… Bien sur, just please don’t judge me compared to that guy before me. You know the one who writes books on "French History," him who shouted at you in English when you answered his question about what a national police report is - telling him that he needed to get an FBI criminal clearance. Yes that one, the one that pointed out in haut voix that the FBI is not a national police, it is the F-B-I. Thank you for that illuminating elucidation. In case you did not know he is the next Einstein. I don’t want to live up to that standard. And then after a slight clarification of why I have played the visa merry go round, she says the magic words- Ok I am going to issue your visa. It was all I could do to restrain myself from snatching it and RUNNING. Instead I quite literally skipped out the office. POOF- there went the whole world up and off my shoulders. Atlas, I chuck thy globe. I no longer am the star of the one ring circus with that monkey on my back. I HAVE MY VISA. I walked around the corner and stormed the Banana Republic. I tried things on and danced in the fitting room. I looked at knitting books. I had a BAGEL with lox spread. I headed back to my friends flat. Wheeee there is a package of Koigu for me waiting there from Lizabeth! I am so blessed at this point, that I loose my voice during dinner that night and I forego Belgian beer for this… I think I started resenting my cold at that point. I slept little and went out to brunch the next morning and wandered around town. Walking LOTS. I went to a bar in Berkeley with my other local friend and her friends. I had a cider, which I probably shouldn’t have, and I was not good company. I had no voice therefore in an Irish Pub at 11pm you couldn’t hear me. I had been awake since 1 am and at 11:30 some guy came up me startled the hell out of my just head nodding self to pull an entertaining pick line on me. “Hey do you work at the Oakland Library?” Sorry no I don’t. “Well you look just like someone who does, where do you work?” I don’t live here. “What?” I don’t live here. I turn to my friend and say it is time to take the cranky crazy girl who is pulling the Bezerkeley freaks home. Unfortunately due to time and other things I only got a few second scan through Artfibers. I didn’t head home with anything but I did decide I really like that Kyoto yarn! On Sunday I hit the Imagiknit, where I had a gift certificate! I saw all sorts of yarns, I was in yarn overwhelm. Ones I had and others I hadn’t heard of. I wish I had more money, or had a credit card (I know I am a freak for not having one). I wasn’t sure if I would have enough in my US accounts to get me back and I only have funds in a French bank- which it seems I need to use a cat o’ nine tails to whip into submission so that they will finally replace my card. So there was some shopping but not lots. I got Lorna Laces Shepard in Gold Hills. I figure I will start stocking up on socks cause my bet is they are going to be my commuting knitting. But I wrote down colors and yarns I had heard of, touched and liked. As a whole and all points given, I have to say the trip was a complete success and pretty damn enjoyable. Unfortunately I have to say there is no knitting to show for all those hours of transport or anything else. I felt like shit, I drank copious amounts of water (as astute friends commented "shit the camel pees"), I read a bit, I watched the movies and I slept. I guess since I was relieved from of my stress I took the tension knitting down a notch. So we are living the wonderful life: I am dollar bankrupt, sucking down vitamin I and C like no one's business, popping little reds sniffers, taking tabs of Echinacea, and topping it off with shots of celebratory cough syrup. But none of that matters. You see, I BEAT French bureaucracy. Again! I have my job, I am staying in Paris, and I am still standing. I gave Life the smack down, and yes Kitten, I threw in a swing at her for you too :)

For Comments

I have received a few emails... It seems that the comments are not working on the huge ass photo post. On the off chance that this is not a Blogger issue but instead some funk that got humptied up with those huge ass photos, I am going to post this for anyone who wanted to enter a comment on the previous post. Off for the rest of the weekend. Enjoy yours too!

1001 Words

Nuff said! I am off for the weekend. I will detail more once back in Paris and there are three people that have been beyond gracious and shared blessings with me. But really, I have a BAGEL with lox spread that is calling my name. A sunny 70 degree afternoon (dude it was 20 degrees where I was yesterday) and one big ass pair of bottles of tequila and vodka that are begging to be poured down the hatch. Bises!

Fail to Plan...Plan to Fail

Tis my motto! So when Plan A failed miserably; I had my depressive moment of despair, my tears of frustration and I unhappily shifted my arse to crisis-bossing Plan B. It was always there, but I wanted to live in De Nile about it, as it is NOT my preferred choice (unlike a vacation to Egypt). Plan B shall make my life physical hell for the next two weeks, but it should resolve things. It will also have me quite silent as well. Why?? Cause I will be making an emergency visa run to San Francisco! An unplanned emergency visa run (well "planned," but not how it is happening), could life go further South of the Border?? I think not. Yes people I am flying a total of 36 hours with effectively less than a 4 day turn around. And then getting off a plane onto a train and then straight into a desk to face the week. Important bits though: I will have a visa (otherwise I will be going Consulate- kind of like Postal only more vitriolic and ballistic- and those screams eminating from that direction will be me), and I will have a job. I will be a bit strapped for that first month but I will have a "stable(r)" future. One with yarn in it and on the "right" side of the pond. So I got a bit happier when that was all confirmed; see- uncertainty is not my bleeding ulcer's friend. But more so because I have two friends there friends I want to see! And also a place to stay for free. Save every penny I can and I just might be able to come back with one ball of yarn! And there are supposed to be some schmansy yarn stores around! Yeah even Black Molly over here can see the green tinge of a "silver" lined cloud... So should I have a following in SF area, anyone who wants to meet up I am game. I will be in town THIS WEEK, basically Thursday through Sunday. Thursday and Friday are off limits until the Visa is obtained, which with all good karma should be done by Thursday afternoon. I might even tempt the Consular Gods wrath and put an appearance in at the Spanish Consulate (from Hell) about that whole citizenship deal that I am legally entitled to. I will try to hit the trifecta (Banana Republic, Gap and Ann Taylor) to see if there is anything round those parts that is cheap for work this spring (last year's spring stuff is either in Italy and/or does not fit as I lost weight) and can be shoved on their store card. The same for the mothership- Nordstroms. I will head to a grocery store to stock up on the silly things that are outrageous here, and maybe a Whole Foods- to reminisce. I MUST find a bagel place where I can get salmon cream cheese for a FREAKING BAGEL!!!! I might get a super cuts hair trim- cause in Wendy style the hair has not been cut since the first week of July 2004. And well I'd like to hit a yarn store to touch even if I can't buy- particularly one with Koigu, so I can see colors! And I might do some touristy things too. Yeah lots of stuff, not lots of time... I am sure something will give or go Speedy Gonzales- but for now those are on the list. So feel free to leave a comment or email me or not, I am guaranteed to check mail Wednesday morning (Brussels time) before I fly out. After that probably Thursday once the visa is resolved (see the power of positive thinking :). Anyways I have to go get back to that crisis planning. But have a good week and think Visa and No Jet lag prayers for me! Bises!

When life gives you lemons…

FIRST ask why the fuck Life is bringing you lemons, cause really I have ALWAYS wanted to know! I love me my lemons but there needs to be some spice and variety in life I think. I mean Sevilla Oranges are bitter, in quasi season and much classier. And then commit yourself to the inevitable (and potentially an insane asylum) : make lemonade- praying that the white substance you pour into the mixture is Crack or Sugar- cause if it is salt you are in for one hell of a pucker. So if you couldn’t guess we have hit a wee bit of a snag over here. In fact it has not been a pleasant weekend plus Chez Tink. Yeah not even one guess about it either. Rodger, copy that the anvil has landed. Repeat after me Bureaucratic fuck ups. I am not going go into any details, as you can probably guess half of them anyways; except to say that I am this close to the cracking point. There is only so much of a repetative beating I can take anymore and I am at that threshold horizon. What does this mean?? Well I am facing some distinct possibilities or a compilation of said possibilities. 1.CLEARING out the bank Account and then some that I don’t know where I will get it from… 2. Another last minute emergency visa run 3. Loosing the job 4. Being the crazy gringa who ran through town naked to Pont Neuf and jumped with a ball attached to the ankle for a “swim” in the Seine So until I have something in hand and am on firmer ground I am going to take slight blog hiatus (i.e. this week). I will get back to all about the Knitting Bible discussion soon, promise. But for right now I am not exactly stable and I am not in the mood for anything. I am being eaten alive by anxiety and the likes therefore not humorous or anything else other than depressively dreary and crabby (not least because the weather fairy sent a nice little “movement” and it is colder than a witches tit over here) Though I like Bonne Marie's thoughts on Green. And they lifted up the spring-y thoughts. So I am hopeful that next week I will have happy and contented news. Until then if you have any extra spare kind thoughts and want to send em my way, do feel free as I would as ever be grateful.

I Get a Cookie!

And snow too. Well now its all about singing “let it slush, let it slush, let it slush” and shouting at the guards that it is RILLY stewpid that they have shut the WHOLE of the Luxembourg gardens (which looks like winter wonderland) for about 1.5 inches of snow. But I can't even begin to tell you how his past week has been the bestest! And yes I left that last post up longer to get extra comments cause I am like that :) I promise to stop gushing sometime in the near future as you may all start to wonder what has happened to that snarky inner bitch and I can’t have that now can I?? Really though it is a complete convergence zone here in Paris. Between my loony aunt, and by loony I mean when I told her I was moving to Europe (where the family is FROM) she asked if I was going to become a prostitute. Cause that is what they do here… you know. A family that warns you against prostitution is the kind of family that stays together non?? Anyways one may have flown over her cuckoos nest a LONG time ago, but she has a heart of gold, in spite of it being misplaced. And it turns out that she has left me a small nugget of money for when I got married. Being that I am BARRELLING STRAIGHT at my expiration date (you know 30) without a man at my side, dear Mama Mao decided she would crack into the CD (that I knew NOTHING about, and seriously was set to expire when I turned 30) early and let me use it to pay rent this month. Finally those sexist family values do something besides bite me in the ass. That collided with the lovely French gender values. The one where one of the women who is on the team I will be joining is pregnant and her doctor has told her to go on maternity leave 2 weeks early. So I get a call asking me to start my job 2 weeks early. 2 weeks of EXTRA and unexpected pay!! Me I am currently a TOTAL money whore so that would be accepted with pleasure. What does this all mean for Chez Tink?? Well besides the dose of generally good merriment (which I am still slightly frightened of- this many nice things all in a row… is there an anvil about to fall on my head??) the prospect of more knitting content and the slinging of happy profanities, it means a few things. First it means I will shortly be able to send out goodies. I get to send a thank you cadeau to a VERY SPECIAL knitty-blogging friend (you know who you are and I am too sending it!) Thanks to Urraca I found a site that doesn’t charge me my prize teeth in shipping and that hopefully has enough of the Cecilia in Kaki to finish those bloody collars on the pointy needles for Pretty Wrappy Top. I get to trade with another special knitting blogger for goodies in the near-ish future. And I am going to treat myself with some of this “windfall” (or as close to windfall as I am likely to get, short of winning the lottery), the rest of it will be used in my endeavour to prove I am a responsible adult and do the responsible adult crap, like pay debts off. I'd rather avoid this but I am determined not to fall into that trap (it costs more in the end and puts out negative karma people :) So I have decided my first knitty treat is to get me one of those knitting bibles that I hear everyone rant and rave over. So since I know I just hit 10000 (and am going to change counters so I can let that person know that they were the 10000 hit :) I am going to attempt to delurk you who are out there in a very easy way, before I go back to trying to pick a Koigu colour and think about what in the world to make with it.

So without further ado I bring you the first poll Chez Tink: Unfortunately until I get can find a blog poll thing to insert that works with Blogger, let me know in comments (even just an anonymous number)

Which Knitting Bible should Tink get? 1. Montse Stanley's Knitter's Handbook 2. Nancie Wiseman's Book of Finishing Techniques 3. Katharina Buss' Big Book of Knitting

Word of the Day: Brought to You by the Letter F

The Universe has BROUGHT IT IN for me people! Leya your number (167+) is next.

Do NOT ask me how the fuck I am able to sit still long enough to have written any of this out. I have NO control over any body functions right now. Am atom completely the fuck out of control. PING BING ZOOM- yup that’s me WHIZZZZ. The only thing not defying me is the capacity to utter the word fuck A LOT. That and holding the phone still for long enough to get a hold of a friend to tell her we are DRINKING tonight! Otherwise I cannot compose coherent thoughts, let alone string enough words together for sentences and in true polyglot fashion I am barking around my flat in 4 different languages. Again NO Control!! Instead I have 2 words. HAVE JOB. Tengo Trabajo. C’e Lavoro. J’ai Boulot. That is right y’all, I am ROCKING the Kasbah. I have a mother fucking job, with the international organisation of my choice, that will help fill the time till a PhD starts. And it pays BANK. That’s right- I be: Shakin dat ass. Shakin dat ass; Shakin dat ass. Shakin dat ass. Itchy pants dance step aside, the movement over here has hit a whole new level. And I have photos for you of La Defense (1, 2, 3), cause biznatch that is where I am going to be WORKING. I went in and I BANGED that interview like no one's business. (Karma and I spent the night before together with some meditative moments). They said we will let you know on Friday. Friday became D-Day for both of the “maybe you could get me” jobs. Whatever, (I attempted to exude) I had a Brambleberry Tazo Tea at the Starbucks, I was happy. Within 45 minutes of leaving the interview (at my Phildar no less) I get a call from HR. We are pretty sure that directorate will be calling to offer you the position within the next hour, though we may have to resolve some visa issues- they say. VISA Fuck off, I have weapons and I am NOT afraid to use them. This JOB is MINE, serious don’t mess with me. (I say :) That call sooooo took the stinging hate off of the fact that Phildar no longer makes the Pretty Wrappy Top yarn in the color I made Pretty Wrappy Top and I have to go prayer hunting that there is an extra 2 balls of it somewhere. If not there is no collar and lift off is denied. And really that is no fun! I headed home empty handed but skipping round the place. Yes people SKIPPING (on cobblestones again). Two hours after I left the interview I got the call to pop my ass a bottle of champagne cause they are bringing me on fucking board. Oh yeah and they have already taken the pleasure of scheduling me for those internal organisation only software trainings. Profanities are pouring in pure pleasure (hey how the fuck did I alliterate when I can't even control the language coming out my mouth?) And holy fuck I can make a budget. I can eat something besides couscous for dinner. I can have a long term plan (i.e. longer than 1 month which has been my life for a while now).

I CAN BUY YARN IN THE NOT SO DISTANT FUTURE. Go me, it's my JOB day. Go me, this is way better than a birthday! **edited to add that when I came into type this post for posting this morning, I found out that I WON a contest. A RAOKing contest. I had a slight advantage (I worked for Victoria’s Secret during undergrad, quitting over 3 years ago), but the contest judge didn’t think less of it and I WON. I won Koigu!! I now have to pick a color and think about what I will be doing with that yarn. I have never touched Koigu!

I know that the Yarn Harlot thinks February is a forsaken month and all. But for me I am now developing a special fondness for February, the 16th in particular. And since goodwill was spread I can now go make a donation (that I have been wanting to for a long time, to compliment my donation to UNICEF) to Medecins sans Frontières. I am so bowled over that I quite simply do NOT know what to do with myself. I am in happiness and joy, and marinating a BIG VAT of relief (that is not spelt by the letters of ANY antacid brand). I am sure the reality of heading back to work and shifting my schedule will settle in at some point. But for right now I am enjoying this moment to the utmost, how often do I actually INHALE on a repetitive basis, oxygen??

Hello and Goodnight Gracie

Life abroad made me think over the past couple of days. There are the conceptions of others about it (prominent is the life is a bowl full of cherries approach, and that you shouldn’t ever be able to complain about a bad day cause you are abroad experiencing that which others dream about) and then there are the realities (which include the fact that you live there wherever it is just like anyone else does anywhere else in the world, you are in most cases functioning in things that are in relative stages of foreign nature to your system, and let us not forget the isolation you sometimes feel). Of course there is the in between, and a fair amount of entertainment value to it all too. In all good, bad and ugly- I love living abroad. Importantly I am of the belief that your perspective on matters changes with the parameters of your borders, regardless of what you may think of your “home” country. And if/when you go “home” you do so with a distinctly different view on life. Not to mention the whole new set of experiences that you accumulated along the ride, that define that stage of your life. But what I am not (yet, if ever) accustomed to is the repetitive feeling that you have been tripping on acid in your sleep. Cause really, I am not sure that there would or could be any other explanation for this shit. Seriously even if I were creative, and I am not, I could not make this shit up if I tried. We will step away from the non-technicolor person who thought it was ok to let Grandma walk out of the house (in Italy) wearing the Flags of the World tapered balloon pants- the kind that make you wonder if MC Hammer is going to bust a move out the next alley breaking it down with 2 Legit, 2 Legit 2 Quit (sadly I remember the hand gestures for this, I am terrified…). Topped with a BLINDINGLY yellow bolero jacket. Stepping away… I have made the unilateral decision in the Empressdom of my territory to forget about the person I overheard last week here in Paris talking about their “vintage jacket.” Which for the record was not Channel, it was denim and had New Kids on the Block screened across the back of it. (VIVID flashbacks occurred thanks to that jacket; again frightened to the point that really, someone… hold me) I am having to come to terms with the fact that there are a fair amount of days in my life where I am left with no other option after waking up but to contemplate on the Dalai Lama and wonder What the Mc Fuck?? I have lived the past almost two years in Fashion “Capitals” of the world… I HAVE to be dropping acid in my sleep. This is the only reasonable explanation for any of this that my theory searching brain could come up with (feel free to amuse yourself if you think you can do better) But this weekend left me asking out loud- “Did I smoke Crack in my sleep” and “Who the hell hooked up the black tar heroin IV??” This moment in time is brought to you (via me) thanks to my television and TF1. Growing up I thought my legal name was a tortuous burden. It is one of those names that as an adult or under personal choice is not as bad as it could be- but with out choice and in the proximity of children… all I have to say is that children are cruel and one day I was POSITIVE that I wanted to change my name to Barbie. And it is bad enough for me, the quasi-feminist, to admit it… Nuff said. But these parents have taken the cake on Mama Mao. Serious, they need to have CPS called in on their asses, for wanting to have physical harm inflicted on their children. Incessantly. People someone in the 1960s thought it was ok to name a little French boy PLASTIC (ironically enough with a last name that sounds like it could be the first name- Bertrand, which lead me to think that someone typed things in wrong on the screen. Until the called him Plastic!). Even more eye popping are the parents who named that innocent little girl who grew up to have a plastic rack- Douchka (say it Douche-Ka). And they became celebrities. And they put them on TV. With a transvestite in a competition, dancing hip hop (say it eep-opp) after the show flashed me an up close and personal of Ms. France’s crotch THREE times using slow mo replay. As if life in France (with La Duree macaroons which are more addictive than popping X) wasn’t enough, it is now confirmed that there is something in the water. And really god help me if I ever need an IV, who the hell know what they are going to put in it. Me I am going to go back and hallucinate about waves, waves that are done and waiting for the kitchener. And to follow up: before you all go being frightened for my friends I have to add that one of them has known me through highs and lowest of lows for over 5 years and traveled through India. He hath no fear of neither a car nor me (well he does of me but not like that). The other is from Mexico City, where cars think you are there for moving target practice and honk in horns that sing. The third of the trio had already crossed the street so really I wasn't scaring the shit out of anyone as much as I was entertaining them. That is me the center of entertainment :) next post MIGHT have a photo and will reveal the music thingy I was tagged with by the ever so sweet Susie, cause you know I was starting to feel all left out and stuff.

Year of the Rooster and Much More

Well the story is into crow. I was born in the year of the snake and here we go: Despite the odd setback this is a satisfying time in almost every respect-- apart, perhaps, from money. Your efforts are recognized at work (does this mean I get a job?? HUH HUH???), but risky financial ventures should be avoided. Domestic life is harmonious and although social life involves a few difficulties this is a good time for romance (Really cause after a go around with Frenchie who stalked me I am not so sure I am hot to trot on that dating thing... though I did go out last night with a very nice visitor that works with my friend- see below). Find out yours here. Link from Siow-Chin (found through Crayonbrain). Where is the knitting content you ask? Where are the pictures? How I wish I had posts full of pictures again. Where is the laughter- well I did have a good Monday, Tuesday and a KICK ASS Thursday (dude Bill paid for everything I ate meat and drank me the happy juice. I got to smile thanks to my dear, dear friends who have the all important two words. Expense Report :) So I am posting despite the fact that technology is fighting me and my apartment is a big black 190sq ft vortex eating everything I ported across that blasted ocean for a reason. So… until I can find that itsy bitsy memory card that they sell the camera with for the camera (which I haven't been able to download the photos from- because the puter is still comatose and still on the continent) I can't make the scarf parade post really parade like. Nor can I show you the Natalya that I made/in process (trying to figure out what to do on the finger bits, I want fingers, but not sure about plain StSt fingers...) which made me FALL IN LOVE with the Classic Elite Inca Alpaca. I sure wish I knew where to find that stuff on sale, cause I am thinking if one of the "we are recruiting you" interview jobs finally comes through (one of them might be a coup de foudre next week… PLEASE) a Clapotis in black would be great for the in the office toss around item. Nor can I show you how the French (well not the French, but me in France) make waves. In a sock people, actually on a sock (language proofing it teaches you the importance and utter caprice of prepositions). And currently made me barkers on its travel to cover the top of the instep, but I beat it into pulpy submission. That is right people I am back and that sock it is my BITCH. I am now onto sock two my friends, and hoping I have enough yarn to make it match. Socks my friends they are my current passion. Why you ask?? Cause they are time intensive, and not yarn intensive. Two keys in the current political economy I live it. They keep me knitting and help trap that last bit of my sanity that is doing its best impression of a helium balloon. And this pair might just have me going until the next millenium if I ever tried them!! What knitting content I can give you before I turn all social anthropologist, attempting to be humorous on you, I can now tell you I am feeling remorseful shame. Yes I am. Adele posted a link to a French blogger (I need to read more French bloggers I know, the head is already hanging low and swinging to and fro) Laeticia. Laeticia who has finished the Pretty Wrappy Top. OH.MI.GOD. It looks gorgeous! Really go look, I'll wait. What better to make me face up to the shame of my all but the collar finished bits with an offer from a divine person to finish it for me… So tonight I am ripping out the collar (I had a flub in it, it has been in the corner on a time-out for two months and well hey ripping it out means there is more knitting time coming my way…). While watching Nip/Tuck. People why have I never seen this show. I LOVE IT. 1. Julian McMahon- HOT, 2. Funny and 3. Not from the late 1970s (seriously the first sign of the apocalypse (Dallas in French) is upon us. And for reference the second sign is Dynasty in Japanese, and that third horseman is going to be riding in with Knots Landing in Afghani. at that point just let it go there will be nothing you can do) Now for the rest of you I give you the social anthropologists version of a "how to": "How to scare the SHIT out of your visiting friends." First be a really nice friend and take them around town. Play walking tour guide pointing at things. And if they ask you what is that building, and you don't know... Make something up, the more creative the better. Next impress the hell out of your friend with your ability to make a Parisian driver go from a full speed ahead barrelling bullet to a grinding halt; by giving them the eye. It is all in the eye people. And to seal the deal. Be at an intersection with lights that you know direct the circulation of traffic. (Best done at night) Start crossing said intersection and when that vehicle starts edging up to you, giving whole new meaning to the phrase- "don't get all up in my grill..." Pound the vehicle on the hood stare down the driver and yell "FEU VERT" (Green Light in French). For the best added gasping effect the hood should be attached to an RATP (Parisian local transport) Bus. Yeah people I have balls the size of Jupiter. I can cross the streets in Rome, Athens, Istanbul, Cairo, and Mexico City without blinking an eye.

Pet Peeve

Ok it is no surprise that I have a "no yarn diet" going on. It is not voluntary per se in a de-stashing effort, as it is well documented that I have no stash here in Paris. I have remnants that I wish I had my stitch guide books to play with. But that is neither here nor there. This yarn diet is extended until the next contract comes along or something else is firmed up. I am hoping that will happen in the next month. If not I will try to guilt my mother who in her "I make Mao Tse-Tsung look like a warm fuzzy bear" kind of way, has decided to impose a visit with no warning (before everything was paid) for next month. Additionally what ever of any stash I may have ever had is in a storage unit in Seattle (not much use to me here in Paris obviously). Which in honesty never was that much as I kind of like to get yarn with something in mind. Otherwise I end up with a ball of Muguet that I have no clue what to ever do with and a ball of that there. You get the picture. I can be quite impulsive; it is not that far of a jump from my natural fidgety nature. And it sucks those nasty green infected and oozing donkey balls as I have enough Cascade 220 in a color I love for a sweater plus scarf (Rogue or it's likes) and enough alpaca for a sweater (thinking lacy cardigan-ish sweater there) in there too. But I digress… So my current theory is since I can't buy, I can look. Everyone needs a break from trying to make gender mainstreaming, policy learning and development behave like anything other than kindergarteners in the sandbox (which if you don't remember it is where you whacked Sally Sue upside the head with your pail for stealing your blessed shovel, before you poured water on her castle trying to bat your eyelashes out of trouble when she went screaming to the patrol warden by saying "but I was only trying to make a moat") in under 1500 words. I recognize that this is kind of masochistic I know but hey… better masochism than sadism- non? And since I can't touch and be tempted to abscond with it, online works great. I have only bought yarn once online, but it turned out fine. Once I get through this latest commission to language proof a friends PhD, I am going to have her send some payment in kind from the socks I fell in love with online. They have a color called Paris and Regia is CHEAP in Germany, nice bit is that is where she is! And I am all up for the risks that are associated with color choices etc. But I have a pet peeve. Like you are surprised... and if you are- read the title and then call me. Now I like variegated yarns. Mostly for accessories, but if one hit me right I'd probably make something bigger out of it. I particularly love making mind numbingly boring but zen socks out of the stuff :) That said the peeve is as follows: if you just stick a bunch of strands of the yarn together I haven’t got a freaking clue what it will look like knit up. Vendors- make a swatch and photo that; pretty pretty please avec une cerise on top. I will take my chances with the color, but I'd sure like to see the variagation pattern. Next question- has anyone ever used Knitpicks yarns? They seem so darn reasonable for the prices that I wonder if it is too good to believe. If I am going to have to trade someone into the slave market to be a shipping expiditer (that sounds like a job for Momma Mao if I ever heard of one...) then I don't want it to be for yarn that isn't up to standards. Cause the lady knows I am broke.

Bueller Is Not In Leave A Message After The Beep

Ok so I know things have been high on the stress richter scale over here and I have veered from the knitting and Paris to the grad school broke/job bitching. I have decided however, if I can't say nice things I am just not going to say them at all. I have two posts on two projects that have taken up all knitting time to come, and one on tidbits of Parisian life. I'll get to them right after I finish that analysis on gender equity, policy learning, gendermainstreaming in developing countries on social policy in under 1500 words by tomorrow for that "interview."

Serious I am starting to be of the opinon that to get one of these "you are under consideration- be grateful and worship our rhinestoned pinkie toe," international organisation positions that you are well qualified for: you have to teleport yourself in time, backwards through the hoops fire in hell, wearing a crocheted Nepalese sari yarn bikini, whilst reciting the theoretical implications of Weber's conceptualisation on ideals in Pig Latin. Sufficeth to say I am ready to say get it over with already. Go ahead tell me the color saturation of the yarn was off and be over with it. But for your benefit, tomorrow is that D-Day so next Monday I should have a real post for you guys on knitting and how I have managed to do some of it and what I am trying to do. Until then I give you this. Now I like to think of myself as cultured, and I like to think I am hip and with it, I remember pop culture right... But I thought she was making license plates last time I checked. And had a few *erm* image issues. I may not get much of American reality television recently, I never read Living, and I sure as hell don’t get why Donald Trump is where he is or why he has a (even remotely popular) television show; but really this is all 16 kinds of wrong.

Someone hold me.

No Hangers here

Thank you so much for those of you who put out a good thought or two. I really do believe in the power of good thoughts, and I know they will continue on for me. Luckily they were prompt and therefore I can be too. I didn't get the position. I fumed and steam poured off the top of my head for the way the administrative officer gave the telephone PFO (please fuck off letter). The injustice of having too much external experience and not enough internal experience really is chaping my ass. I mean the tits are already tied in a knot, why you gotta go grating them in the parmesan spinner?? You know what you can do with that catch 22?? Shove it- ou il n'y a pas de soleil! That said, I didn't have exactly the best feeling on it when I left the interview, nor when I woke up at 3 this morning, nor in the subsequent 4 hours I attempted to meditate on it, and couldn't install a positive vision of it for my minds eye. It is their loss in all honesty, and in my keep your chin up kind of mood, I am sure it is just because there is something better waiting for me. But I would have taken it as I am up to taking any damn thing they have right now if it will get me INSIDE the organisation again. And I can blame it on this, I knew there had to be a reason! Cause it sure as hell couldn't be moi you know! In my attempt to not hold onto this and to open up for the next opportunity that I hope will move this way soon, I bring you the silvery/green lining in the cloud. The position that shafted me earlier this month (do not ask- it was when Shiva bitchslapped me with all eight arms at once), asked to reconsider my CV and I have subsequently been shortlisted. It would involve a move (to Geneva), but is directly on what I researched. There is a chance, but we do not hold our breathe anymore Chez Tink. I like wearing plummy tones, being panicky purple is not my style however. Nor are we allowed on the visit to the insanity zoo to feed the hope addict. Since I have nothing else, and still haven't decided what to do with the orphaned alpaca I give you the Lemming post. Yes I am metaphorically jumping off Pont Neuf (No Claudia, not for real :) Look Ma it's my blogs first meme (I don't usually do these but at this point I say "Why not?") Courtesy of Nake-id Knits. You are now about to be introduced to a product whore. But trust me it is all about the product and not the name or packaging Chez Tink! Grooming Products • Shampoo: I rotate em- Nizoral (US prescription level) for when the scalp gets all pissy on me. PhytoRhum for when I want to smell the Eggnog smell and add a bit of care to the hair. Frederic Fekkai Red Color Shampooing, needed to keep the balance since the last color job that was supposed to take me back to redhead natural, went a bit too brown. And his apple cider vinegar rinse if I have any build up. For good measure I am including my conditioner too- which is ALL IMPORTANT, is Bumble and Bumble Super Rich. This is the swimmers god send! • Moisturizer: Again let's rotate em- Mornings after toner, are for Mario Badescu Moisture Magnet Pentavitamin with SPF. This is the worlds best stuff. I can't say enough about it! Dry skin over here loves it. Evening- Kiehl's Ultra Facial Moisturizer (used in combination with Bobbi Brown's Special Line Dry Skin cream for the nights where I want to wake up with cheeks that feel like a baby's bottom) • Cologne: Rotation is the name of the game in the Chez Tink Product Whore Cabinet of love- Summer time is Fresh's Hesperides. Winter is Korres Vanilla and Cinnamon. For the real deal perfumies Thierry Mugler's Angel and Chanel's Coco Mademoiselle are spritzed regularly. • Razor: Whatever I have or was the cheapest • Toothpaste: Oh Toms of Maine Cinnamint toothpaste how I love you and force all my friends to smuggle you for me! Electronics • Cell phone: Italian Siemens cheapie • Computer: HUNK OF JUNK Comatose Dell Inspiron some piece of shit number (we are not on good terms right now, as you might guess...) • Television: What came with the furnished flat I am living in • Stereo: Umm don't have one, I used the laptop for that. I now listen to radio through the TV... Home • Sheets: I prefer Flannel and Jersey, but am currently using a draped fleece blanket. • Coffee maker: I don't drink coffee but I have a Bialetti (hey I lived in Italy!) for those who do • Car: I dont have one, I have the Métro. Why drive a car (which I would love to be a Mini or LandRover Freelander if I had to have a car) when you can be psychoanalysed on the Métro free of charge?? • Stationery: Cranes or handmade my friends Beverages • Milk and Juice (nectars if possible, unless it is cranberry)- they are the choice of prefered drinkers in this neck of the woods. • Bottled water: The Franprix stuff, it's cheap and I do better drinking out of a bottle. • Coffee: Have I told you how this stuff puts me to sleep. Serious seven sips of a Latte and I am OUT COLD. • Vodka: Grey Goose, Absolut (it is after all vodka, and vodka is good for you!). Anything but that college-reminiscing $4 for a gallon, rubbing alcohol Monarch shit. Dude I am so not Kitty Dukakis. • Beer: I am not a beer girl but BELGIAN beers are a whole other issue. I love me the Chimenay and Lambics. And on need of "beer drinking," I can pour down a Desperado too. Clothes • Jeans: Gap Long and Lean (hemmed up cause I am not LONG) and Banana Republic . French Connection has a kick ass pair, but I can't afford them (yet!) • T-shirt: French Connection, Banana Republic, and H&M are my current favorites. • Briefcase or Tote: I haven't got one, I am waiting for the job and then I am going to head to Levenger and get me one, that or be French chic and go to Longchamps. • Sneakers: Nike or New Balance • Watch: Ironman Triathalon watch, and after that I want a one that I can wear with dress clothes- but haven't decided on one, let alone found one. Favorite Places • Seattle • Italy (Bologna, Roma, Firenza, Venezia, Trieste, the whole damn place!) • Paris (OF COURSE) • On a plane travelling somewhere • In the water snorkelling or diving Necessary Extravagances • Currently broke and not permitted any; but if I could it would be yarn and good wine.

What is Brewing??

First of all we need to collectively all think the same subliminal thought and send in the direction of Paris, La Defence, Tour Europe OK?? I don't ask much and I try to entertain but really we all need to tell the people I interviewed with today who said they will be calling tomorrow "HEY YOU- YES YOU, GIVE TINK THE JOB NOW!!!" It is in EVERYONE'S best interests I promise. Now to the knitting in a frenzy known as, I need the job NOW!!! I have finished almost all of my "stash" yarn that I could make into something. The too small, but not too small shawl is done. The pulse warmers I am offering up as a goodie to the first person who asks for them are done. The scarf parade, they are done too. The hat done. Serious I am running out of projects (well ones I have yarn for). Actually I already have. And as for stash there isn't much left that isn't a remnant. And I am now located at uncreative indecision central (trying not to feed teh hope addict). WHAT THE HELL TO KNIT NOW??* So I am posing it to you the intelligent people of the blogosphere, should you care to speak up with any input. I have 2 newly hand ball wound hanks of alpaca (232 yds, 112 m) that I would like to knit into something. Cause seriously I just about cried last night as I couldn't figure out anything to knit. MUST KNIT. I have a ball of Anny Blatt Muguet (impulse purchase of plasticy in a cool way novelty yarn with lots of yardage) that has no idea attached to it. I have one ball of Silk Garden that I am either thinking mittenettes or beanie hat (problem being that I like hats to cover my ears well). And I have 2 balls each of Phildar Laine in Green and Black. They were bought with the idea of using the Phildar Hommes pattern to make a hat doubling one of each color up. I might still do that unless someone else has a better idea. And I have the one ball of GGH Mohair that I am battling with to get it to conform into a Vine and Lace scarf that after having to dink back 2 rows for every 7 makes me want to SCREAM. That said if I get the job... I can spice things up, I can buy yarn!!!! So remember please think good thoughts and maybe the next post will be ecstatically yarn spiced! *note in no way is this post to be misinterpreted as pleas for anything, except ideas :) I really do need to figure out what to make with two hanks of alpaca, cause it is pretty and I want to knit again!

Face of Death

True leadership was demonstrated by FDR who cancelled all inauguration events because the country was recovering from an economic depression and at war. This is all about symbolism, and that of an ego- not the good of the nation. Living in France I have been taught the new meaning of solidarity, its true components. I can be against this president and support the dear and brave friends I know and their corps. This is solidarity.

It is Miss Peacock

In the itsy bitsy studio with a set of circular needles! Since I have been on the not alltogether voluntary "holiday break" mode I did in fact finish knitting a sweater. And have had enough of the tacky not so interesting cliff hanger. I had to get out of the flat to straighten out the electricity bill (look Ma new French vocabulary!) and stopped to post up the results. All I am going to say, in defense of my needs to be improved photo abilities, is keep me away from the turkeys. I have got to be the world's worst baster I tell you! But I am also impatient and wanted to see how it was going to look as I was a bit on the nervous end of some dimensions. I shouldn't have been, but I am not that perfect in the whole sizing department and neither are Rowan patterns that helpful. In my delurking measure that really didn't delurk people or get guesses; I have for the one correct "guesser" (Ms. Eggplant Diva herself; send me your addy and I will get a postie and French candy off in the post to you, hopefully this week). Ding Ding Ding: for the rest of you- we have a finished Fern. I wish I could say it was Pretty Wrappy Top but in all honesty that pattern and the collar in particular have had me banging my head against the wall. And I have already been a life long contestant in the un-hel,eted stud game for years. I need a break from that whirly-go-round. We already have enough angst Chez Tink at the present and really we don't want to whine about it; nor do we want reminders about it. Let's all not feed the hope addict right now; she has a trial teaspoon in her and really is still in detox and trying to recover from the bout with the Funk. So for right now Pretty Wrappy Top is not striking the resonant cords. Fern on the other hand did; notice that DID; thats cause her knitting is all DONE. I finished a sweater that Im a gonna wear fer real!! That whole thing is kinda exciting. I zoomed right along on her; finishing her around New Year's Day I think. I actually like the pink even when it is made into a frilly edge (contrary to feminist tidings that a certain Harlot has felt; and my associated childhood trauma with the color pink; I now find it to be an ironic color, and am willing to occassionally let it in the closet); and the Kid Classic went over way better than I was expecting. The yardage on that stuff is amazing! The pattern went along ok. There was an initial flub up. And I worked it to this point before I thought to my non-Einstein self; hey self, I bet it's not supposed to look like that. I am still left wondering if I did the wrapped stitch right (current thoughts are negative ghost rider, but with out prisoners attached) and what function it has in the design; but I fixed it so it looked better and continued forward. Holy Pop Rocks Batman that Fern front made my frontal lobe throb!!! I had to fudge on some things; particularly in that whole gotta love of pattern writer jargon- reverse to match other side. Erm Bueller... then we had a length is not matching issue from one front to the other. I guess stress screws up a row gauge issue. EVIL EVIL I tell you. I had to figure out how to redistribute the increases decreases etc. That said and all mussing about, I can't tell a difference between the two fronts except one is a hair shorter (pre-blocking) to the other. I have blocked the sleeves and back; still trying to figure out how to or if to block the fronts. But hey it is a finished sweater. (Nope, still no better at the self photos and no pro like my new favorite read) Now to see if a friendly offer still holds, get back to the shawl and figure out what to make with two hanks of alpaca... As for that shawl- I have decided to go forward, block it out a bit, and have a smaller shawl. I haven't picked it back up but that is what tonight is for. I quite simply could not face the thought of dinking or ripping back all that work. And since I have a minifridge with an incompetent freezer, I had no clue how I was going to get this mohair to behave. It no longer seems as bad as it once did. I extended it with the Denise Set to see the real width and though well... Let's all just breathe and think it might look good. So here we go back to garter stitch - WHEE. Oh and a gratuitous photo of the mittenettes that are going to go into the post to Spiffy (my mother's nickname); once I can get myself there... Right now I am going to go exert positive energy into the universe so that teaspoon of hope will help me turn the notch down on the freak out paranoia alert that has been at code orange lately.

And Now We ALL Cry

Beyond my slight bout with the blues over here (thank you for the good wishes, I got bitchslapped like Shiva again yesterday and knowing nice thoughts are coming around occasionally keeps me from jumping from the third floor window :) Houston we have a potential knitting disaster. I have this slight theory: if I have everything in my life a mess and I avoid things, then the good things I am hoping to wrangle into line either aren't going to happen or are going to take their ever loving time. The big one is I will not get things if my dishes aren't done. Don't try to make sense of the universe or my thought patterns, your head will explode; Just follow along. So you know that fiddly mohair yarn (70% Kid/30% Silk) that I have been using to knit the neverending shawl... Well after cleaning up the flat and doing the dishes (but not the laundry- THAT has to be why shiva used all 8 arms instead of one last night!) I attacked the shawl. Me Ally McBeal, Little House on the Prairie, and the love of a good god The Pretender and LAW AND ORDER (share the one joyous moment in my day and savour it, it's all I got right now) knit our way through close to half of that original hank (making pace on 2/3 of what I had left). And in a momentary second of "brilliance" and "joy" I noticed that I had about 1/4 of a hank left. The glee of that lead me to look at the size of the shawl (that was in crumpled/shoved knitting fashion). It was not looking even REMOTELY close to shawl size. Hesitantly I took out the measuring tape and in 3 seconds I knew I was WAY off. So kind of freaking out a bit I pulled out the hank wrap pattern. It was simple enough (I THOUGHT); CO 3, YO increase each row, garter stitch. Go! Right... thought is the imperative word there. I THOUGHT I read it clear enough, but I looked at it again. And this time I actually READ it and PAID ATTENTION. You know what? I am using OH THE FUCK SO WRONG needles. How wrong you ask?? Well I usually go down a size in needles on most everything, so I took that into the initial consideration. I pulled out the Denise needles when I started cause it was the only set of needles I have that were going to be long enough. Do you know what size Denise needles are marked in?? US SIZES. One guess on the problem... Here is a hint- Do you know what size the pattern needles are marked in?? MOTHER FREAKING MM's. The difference between a US size 5 and a suggested 6mm puts us into the HELL of the G-Word. Currently it is on track to be a decent depth, one I could live with- but Houston we have a girth issue. Even blocking the ever loving lamb (or goat in this case) out of it I am not seeing this shawl hit it's listed measurements and I am not sure of its fit (we are currently at preblocked 32" they state it should grow to 70"). So just as I was starting to like it, I have the feeling that the shawl might be heading for the crapper. This yarn and its loopy self practically felts to itself before I can knit it (hence knitting from a non wound hank which for the record = pain.in.my.ass). Therefore the idea of ripping it back is really only a plausible option if I delve deeper into desperation and hell. Besides since it is loop yarn I dont know if it would reknit after ripping... Isn't life a bitch sometimes? Most of the times?? Stop there Tink. Just as I am hitting the "I want to finish this" stride, I have put the project (Fleece Artist Goldie locks Triangle Shawl) aside. But in a delurking measure, I would like to put it out to you. Fill up the comments to shore up the comment monster's deflated ego. That is right I am giving up the comments for commisseration and conseil (well opinions- but I was on an aliteration role and I confuse all my languages now into one- Tinkerbell Talk). As for the yarn/fabric, it is pretty stretchy, though I have no clue what blocking it to hell and back would do to the finished project. Do I give it up? Do I send it to a child? Do I finish it and leave it alone? Bueller the options?? Oh and to further delurk people and drag out the drama of the finished sweater... go ahead and post your guess as to which sweater (Pretty Wrappy Top or Fern) I have finished. Postcard from Paris to the first correct 5-10 entries. (EDITED NOTE: If you guess either leave your site or email or send it to me using the EMAIL ME bit. So I can contact you- I have stupid blogger comments for right now and well otherwise can't touch back to you) Bon Chance a TOUS!

Mission "Get Your Fat Ass Out of the Flat"

Ok so the recent silence has been less to do with material or holidays and is more related to certain circumstances and my corresponding defense mechanisms. Things Chez Tink are pretty stressful right about now. I feel idiotic saying anything that remotely resembles complaining given the storms in Scandinavia and the Tsunami in SE Asia. I am alive and I knew that I was potentially facing this month of hell to make a glimmering hope come true. I don't complain about that which I willingly and knowingly enter. And in reality I have been facing this same hell and it's likewise relatives for the past 2+ years in on and off cycles over 6 weeks to 4 months periods. But I am worn down, I am cracking at the foundations and this time there is a more serious nature to it. The face has black eyes and certain finalities that crash a small corner of my soul. All said I am about 1.5 days away from the bleeding phase of my ulcer and as close as I have ever gotten to my knit's end. The defense mechanisms combined do however make for great blog fodder. See I knit to try and distract my cognizant grey matter away from the doom and gloom/fried green tomato loop. And because there is a partial financial aspect to my agitation, I go no where/do nothing. Which in combination results in me watching inordinate amounts of mediocre to pitiable television. Seriously there is no DC spin doctor who can twist the pathetic nature of watching a Danielle Steel mini-series into language acquisition. You have stooped to a whole new level and the only potential and parital salvation is that you knit through it. That mechanism is thankfully tempered on occassion by great friends who take you out. And random cute Portuguese men who buy you wine. Make that LOTS of wine. And should such an evening ever happen to you- make sure, before plunging into at least three bottles of good red plonk (for just you), with the glee of a three yearold who just found out her bathtub was full of smurf gummi candies, that you have more than an ashtray of peanuts and an icecream in you. Because, speaking from experience and as the sole possessor of two hollow legs which I have used to drink NFL linebackers under the table; NO quantity of alcoholic Irish genes are going to save (or pad for that matter) your "skipping down the cobblestone lane" ass. Trust me and please never forget rule #1. EAT FIRST. It does however give one a much better reason for the nausea that accompanied waking up than the fact that your television turned itself on and blared Baywatch Hawaii at you (which is a valid reason in and of itself to be nauseaous). True story- please pray for me now. But it does mean that stress levels and crashing griselle aside I can now tell you about what all I have knit over the last week. Pictures at a later date (I know quelle surprise). Winter may not have really come to Paris, but it is snowing in my flat. That angora I posted about in the last post (which isn't felted to my fleece blanket) has since been knit into a lovely textured ribbed (for her pleasure) scarf. It behaved reasonably while knitting and has a pretty halo, but it sheds worse than a golden retriever-border collie cross. I momentarily contemplated giving it to my mother. Currently I am having second thoughts, shedding and all. Its purdy and oh so soft. Yup I have renewed my fetish with my New Year's resolutions... Progress continues with the never ending shawl. It is well over half way done. And if the current situation doesn't let up soon I give it 2 more avoidance projects and about 3 days before it is a fait accompli. After the shawl I started avoidance project #1 (or was it because of the shawl...) A certain VERY special someone gave me some Biggie Wool. I had not a clue what to make with it. I am stressed not creative, therefore I started a ribbed sock hat, and will make mittenettes to go with it from the other ball. It's been one hell of a long time since I have knit anything that thick. Even knitting it DENSE on 6.5mm dpn's, I still feel like I am playing a game of pick up sticks with broomstick handles. Though I love the yarn, those HONKER needles! It doesn't knit as fast as expected, not sure what to say or think on the status of that... Avoidance Project #2 follows in the CHUNKY yarn trend. This must be to counter teh thin fiddly nature of the shawl yarn. If nothing else it is one hell of a contrast. So this time I started a pair of mittenettes. Not to match the hat but out of "stash" Polar that I have had for ever with no clue what to make out of one ball each of two colors. I fudged around what I knew of mittenette construction and made your basic mittenette with your basic cable (creative.not.here). And basically I like them. Enough that the other ball of "stash" Polar became another pair of em. This is inspite of the fact that Einstein over here made two right mittenettes the first time round. And if Mother is not destined for a scarf, she will get mittenettes in one of these colors. And last but not least in the spirit of the shitty television I have been watching WAY TOO MUCH OF. I bid you adieu with a tasteless "cliff hanger," until next time I counqueor me the Mission "Get Your Fat Ass Out of the Flat." The hanger- one of my sweaters is completely off the needles. Yup stress means LOTS of knitting, but it deserves a post of it's own. Though I do promise 3 other posts back entered teh next time as I will be at free university internet time, and hopefully a few pictures too. I hate to leave you hanging but I do have the feeling you will survive. Now let's hope I do :)

Pictures and Only Pictures

Well pictures with a bit of text but not much. So in some kind of holiday spirit the technology god paired with the apartment troll (you know the one who hides things in the vortex I call my flat??) to give me a nice little cadeau. My digital camera USB cord has been found! So without further ado I give you photos, photos, and more photos. Note though that they are links as they are all still HUGE resolution- ie non-modified. The computer is still comatose and dude it was a Holiday GIFT not Miracle. Gratuitous Parisian Photo: I love Paris, I love taking pictures of it and this is one from walking home late at night. St. Germain Parc Yarn for you! No ME: See this angora. It is what I got at the Bon Marche TBM sale. It screams fuzzy, soft, warm. Make me into a scarf it says. Should I be frightened that the yarn talks to me?? Nah, I didn't think so. Scarf: Look it is another started and finished during the blog item. It is the Tutti Frutti Scarf. I don't know what to think of it but it is done. And it does not go with red... DC: Well this is a sweater I found at Nordys that I SOOOO wanted; I should have just gotten it but I have been stricken with the "I could make that disease." This is another picture of it, and for the record that is a white shirt, not my pasty skin. But in honesty the color isn't too far off. Sun oh where for art thou... This is me in Lara at Knit Happens. It isn't figure flattering per se but I am still in love with her. The style is great for lounging and well ALPACA SILK!!! My Cabled Hat: There are two pictures here. This is the Me in my cable hat for three days photo. And the other is the Look Froggy I do not always take good self mirror photos. TOLD YOU SOO!!! :) Now onto some travels- Stockholm Jeeves: Here is a few of the town. This is in Gamla Stan, by the American Store that sells Strawberry Fluff. When did that become Yankee and all that?? This is me by the Riksdag in my favorite hat. This is a pretty view with OH MI GOD SUN in DECEMBER!! It was such good weather while I was there. It was taken from the Soder "cliffs." This is a cute square in a part of town I can vaguely remember the name of but not enough to put my ass on the line for it. St. Lucia: I went to hear the singing and laugh at the kids. It was really pretty and well worth it! These are two of my favorites from the photos I took. Still "Traveling": So what did I do for Xmas. I spent it by myself. But I crammed in with every other person you can imagine to go to Xmas Eve mass at Notre Dame. I have lots to say but will save that for another day. Here are some of the pictures of the church, the people, the arches (I love Norman Arches), lighting and the Tree. And for added measure the me doing my holiday impression of a drenched rat from the torrential down pour of the walk home. Now to the Knitting Projects: So first we have a pile of Phildar that is still in Time Out. Next we have munchkin mittens. They are supposed to be snakes (they are left overs from the christmas cabled hat assembly line). They do need google eyes to be finished though and I need to sew em up. On to the shawl. This yarn was a part of my SP3 gift. It has a I am stupid I can read this pattern (1 yarn over increase at each end in garter stitch) kind of feel to it. Colors are turning out kind of interesting. I started it yesterday and we are at stage of enduring time. 100 stitches and dragging. But hey that fast fix was needed. And last but not least we have Fern. Here is a photo of the Kid Classic. And the following two photos are hasty and really bad pictures of a sleeve and the back of Fern. I have started a front but that is another post in the working and well no photos yet. So that should be enough to make the photo happy happy. If not take a look here. My best wishes for a Wonderful New Year and positive affirmations for achieving all of our hopes and dreams in 2005. Especially a certain one or two that well I am crossing some body parts over.

Off With Her Head

So I have taken to knitting my cabled hats (more cashmerino aran mmmmm…. pattern memorized and adored), but I am also working on Fern. Shhhhh… What you say??? You didn’t tell us that!! Well a few weeks ago I got fed up. It was time in my book to bitch slap that Pretty Wrappy Top into a corner. So I jettisoned it to the “You will be done when I feel like it” pile, and I thought I will swatch Fern. Did your mother ever tell you that the apocalypse starts with a swatch? Well it does. Next thing I knew it was the swatch which grew into the back. What do you expect from a girl on a “Its mother freaking COLD” Saturday, evading her laundry and in possession of a television? So I went along my merry way. And wow does one ball of Kid Classic go the distance. I like the yarn better than expected, as I am now becoming a bit more wary of Mohair. I think it makes the skin itch. But this one might be ok. *hopes* As for Fern herself, I am a bit concerned as my “edging” of garter stitch does not stand out against the reverse stockinette of the rest of the project. It does in the photo but not in the reality. Which by the way reverse stockinette, really not as easy to make look pretty and even like stockinette... My perfectionist biddy heart is holding it’s breath a bit on this one. Even wo